Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Let Love Cover It

Recently I was out with my children on a Saturday morning. We went to visit Daddy studying at Starbucks. When we pulled in, I noticed a Mom and her son sitting in the cheery sunshine right in the car next to us. On our way out, as I was loading everyone back in, I realized they were still sitting there...no crime in that, just a bit unusual. They seemed cloaked in an awkward silence. But then, as I swung around to climb in on the other side, I heard a loud, hopeful voice booming across the parking lot-"Hi Clint! Hi! Hi! Are you hungry?"

And then I knew. I just knew.

It was his father. And this was a drop-off.

You know what I'm talking about-the drop-off. Mommy and Daddy don't want to see each other so they meet in some generic parking lot to exchange the very image of their shattered love, their son.

The realization hit me like a dead-weight. And my heart broke, right there in front of Starbucks because this sort of thing has become so normal for most people.

First I thought about the father and the pain he must feel over not seeing his own son on a daily basis. I could hear it in his voice...he missed his son so much. Then my mind flashed over to the son who probably feels caught in the middle and how much he must miss his Dad. Then I thought about my own sons and daughter and how they long to see their Dad come through the door every evening. What if that just ceased to be? What if he just stopped coming home at all? What kind of devastation would that cause in their little souls? And then I thought about the mother and if it was difficult for her to make ends meet. I don't know the statistic but, I've heard it said many times that divorce is the hardest, especially financially, on women and children. For all of the "rights" the women's movement fought for regarding no-fault divorce laws, you'd think they would have realized how negatively such a practice would affect women themselves!!

In a matter of moments, these thoughts ran through my head as I started my car. And I grieved for these people I didn't know and for those I have known who have been affected by divorce. Not one person is ever to blame in these tangled situations. Everyone hurts.

I'm not sure why it struck me so deeply at that moment but it did. After I pulled myself together, I glanced back in the rear-view mirror to the rosy, smiling faces of my four precious children and I knew.

Marriage is worth it. Sure it can be hard. Yes, I have to let go of myself.

But in that moment, I was reminded that I'm an adult and there are a lot of people who are invested in how I love their Dad in the good times and in the bad.

I better make it count. I better not let things slip.

But most of all, I must remember that when the hard times come, for they surely will, there is forgiveness and that true forgiveness manifests itself in having the courage to "let love cover it."

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins."
1 Peter 4:8.

We all need this because we ALL fail. And even when I think I'm doing well I must ask myself, what kind of spouse am I being? Am I supportive? Am I loving? Am I respectful?

We can't buy into the lie that we have to fight for our rights or not "lose ourselves" in marriage. We've already lost ourselves in Christ. We don't have any rights anyway.

Even under the best of circumstances, marriage takes all of our dedication, courage, strength and perseverance. But it's worth it.

So, so worth it.

Keep short accounts. Give without looking back.

Let love cover it.


  1. Welling up...repeating "the very image of their shattered love" over in my head, because it is so profound. Ah, humanity...

    Beautiful hope shining through at the end, Nikki!

  2. It is sad. And it hurts when you know families in that situation. But I just have to say, looking at your pictures...you two are the cutest couple ever! And your kids are BLESSED! love you guys

  3. Hi Nikki!!!! Oh my goodness. I just found your blog through an old friend of ours from school, Jodi (Boundless Grace). I clicked on the link, saw a picture of your cute kiddos and then your beautiful, smiling face! Wow! It's been so long! So good to see you and hear your beautiful thoughts on marriage. So well said. Makes me want to give my man an extra big kiss when he comes home tonight. I miss the days of our newly married class where we talked about marriage on a daily basis. It's such a passion of mine.

    You look amazing, both of you. Congrats on your adorable family. I love your family bio on the side!

  4. I just linked this...I love this post!

  5. Love this post. I found myself crying when you described the father picking up his son. I agree that marriage is sometimes sacrifice with a greater purpose, but mostly it's a wonderful gift. Thanks for sharing!