I Just Don't Understand

Just this afternoon a dear friend and I were briefly discussing some of the strange things boys say and do and how we, as females, do not understand their ways.  When she dropped Isaac off from school he and his buddy were deep in serious conversation about stomachs exploding and heads falling off (or something of the sort).  This is what originally spawned the conversation.

And as the adage goes, boys will be boys.

But it doesn't mean that their actions aren't totally foreign to us females.

Tonight Caleb was done with his evening chores before his brothers.  He was on dish duty and his brothers were on playroom duty and Caleb was diligent to go fast.  He asked to play.  I, of course, obliged him.  He came to me a few minutes later with three real screwdrivers and this was his desperate plea.  "Mom, can you please find me something to poke holes in!!"  My first reaction was, "No crazy boy!  Go find something else."  But then I took a step back, tried to relate to his need to attack something, and went out to the recycle bin to find him some sort of cardboard box.

It's not that he needed to be violent.  He just needed to poke holes.  And he was perfectly happy doing so.   He even proudly showed me his handiwork at the end, to which all I could respond was, "Wow!  Such great holes!!"  Evidently, that sort of praise was exactly what he was looking for because he walked off brimming with pride.

Totally strange to my female mind.

Totally awesome and perfectly normal to him.

The other day Caleb and Joshua were playing so nicely together outside.  I knew something was up.  They usually fight constantly (so unlike my older two).  I went out and found them building a fire in the back of their Dad's truck.  They were carting wagons full of wood out from the back to the front, actually working together to load it, and then building a "fire" just like their Dad has taught them to (little sticks and paper on the bottom, small logs, then big logs).  The only thing missing was the actual fire.  But why in the back of the truck?

And then there sat Miss Elle.  She was in on the whole thing too.  Except her role was to just sit in the wagon, catch a ride and look adorable.  No one told her to do it.  She just did.
 
It was as if she was totally unaware of the absolute exertion they were putting into carting her and all of that wood around...up and down the cement steps leading to the back and everything.  As they grunted and pushed to get her and their precious load around all sorts of obstacles, she just smiled.  I half expected her to ask one of them to fetch her a nice cold drink.  "Baba please!  Baba!!"  And they would have because they love her.  Now that was a typical scenario right there.  Beloved woman gets doted on by two adoring fans and it should be that way :)!

Being a woman, I totally get THAT.  Ha ha!  But all of the stomachs exploding talk, poking holes in boxes with a screwdriver, and the building of a manly fire in the back of a pick-up...

I just don't understand at all.

But I do adore it just the same.

Our Mad Scientist

When Caleb was a baby, he was quite difficult. In fact, so far, he was my most difficult. He cried all the time and would not take a nap-pretty much ever. I thought I might go crazy with him!! One thing that always soothed him though was my presence. If he was handed to his grandma, he'd scream. If he was handed to a neighbor, he'd scream. If he was handed to his Dad, he'd scream. Pretty much anyone but me would not do.

Even during the first two years of his life he definitely preferred me. And it was during this time that both Steve and I knew that Steve needed to start reaching for him. We both agreed that it was important for him to identify the most with his Dad and so it was essential that we see some movement in that direction. Steve started making a concerted effort to win him around that age.

It took time. Lots of it. But I will never forget the first time that he chose his Dad over me when he was in major peril. He was almost four and he had a pretty bad case of croup. In fact, we had been up many nights in a row with him. Each night Steve would wrap him up in a blanket and take him out into the midnight air to help open up his lungs. He'd talk quietly to him to try and calm him down.

Caleb is a fighter so, he would fight and fight his inability to breathe which only made it worse. After awhile, Steve could get him to calm down. One night, after many nights up with him, I tried to take him in my arms to comfort him and he yelled through tears with the little air that he had, "No! Daddy!" No joke, tears streamed down my face for I had been waiting for years for this moment. I knew he had been warming up to his Daddy but that event totally confirmed it. After that, it was clear, he was Steve's little man and wanted to follow in his footsteps just like Isaac. The transformation had happened just like we hoped and prayed it would.

As he's gotten a bit older, his love for his Dad has become more and more apparent. He's become interested in what his Dad is good at and his curiosity about the world and how it works has really come out. He asks some tough questions and they're almost all physics/math related. Recently, he wanted to know if anything heavy could float in the water. I thought about it for a quick sec and said, "No, but let's ask Dad." As soon as he walked in the other room (and I had a moment to think it through), I realized I'd answered him wrong for surely heavy things can float-boats!! To put it simply, it's about water displacement, the volume of the object and its density. Steve answered him correctly and told him why. To which I replied, "I did graduate from Cal Poly...I just had to think about it for a sec...!" Ha ha!

He was so curious about it that I decided to do a little experiment with him the next day that actually went over two days. We filled up the bath tub and tried to float some different objects in it. Some floated and some didn't. We then got to talk about why. Then we got one of the objects that did float (one of their dinner plates) and we determined to find out how many coins it could hold before sinking to the bottom. Caleb absolutely loved this. And he was so smart about it. He evenly distributed the coins so that one side wouldn't be heavier than the other.

The next day, we used a couple of different objects, a big ceramic dinner plate, a little kid dinner plate and an old yogurt container, and we guessed which one would hold the most coins before sinking. Of course, the old yogurt container won, although it was the most tippy of them all. It was truly a blast to do these experiments with my son who really is so much like his Daddy. When I told Steve about our little experiments, he just grinned from ear to ear.

Recently, when I was telling Caleb that he only liked me as a baby, he looked at me with a crooked smile. Then he said, "Yeah. I loved you a lot then Mom. And I love you a lot now too. But I do love Dad the most!"

With him, I don't fear when I hear those comments (really with any of my boys I am not sad about this-I want this for them). I don't get sad because I know the road it took to get there. And now, seeing how interested he is in how the world works just makes me so excited for his growing relationship with his Dad. Because Steve can teach him how things go together. He can challenge him in ways that I never could.

He's keeping me on my toes that little Mad Scientist. His question yesterday was, "Mom, what causes the waves in the ocean?" I looked at him and said, "Well, there are lots of reasons like currents, weather, etc..." Then he said, "Maybe we could do a little experiment." (I'm sure we will and it'll make a royal mess in the bathroom.) Or, we could do the easy thing and you know, just ask Dad. He's the original Mad Scientist in this house.

A Little Conversation

Today, when Caleb came home from school, he told me his test verse was the "X" verse, "Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God." John 3:3. I asked the precious boy if he knew what that meant. He said, "No." Isaac chimed in that it meant you needed to be a Christian. I then added that yes, one needed to be a Christian to see the Kingdom of God, which is heaven (at least in the simplest of terms). I asked Isaac, "Are you a Christian?" It was more of a rhetorical question/reminder; he is a Christian and always answers, "Yes!". I then moved onto Caleb who was sitting there thinking quite hard.

"Caleb are you a Christian?"

He looked puzzled and then answered slowly but stoutly, "Mom, I must not be a Christian, because I cannot see through the ceiling!!"

I died laughing. I couldn't help it! He thought he had to be able to see heaven right now!!

I then explained more of what it meant to be a Christian again and that we would see heaven when we died. That seemed to satisfy him enough and was once again reassured that yes, he was a Christian.

I love these little conversations I get to have with my boys. They totally crack me up and also inspire me to think bigger, to try and understand the Infinite I AM more, and to see that child-like faith is really true, unadulterated faith.

If I can be like them, like little children, I'll definitely be on the right track.

The Monday Report

Over the weekend I turned 17 weeks pregnant and am flying faster toward that halfway point than I ever thought possible. A couple of things have happened that are worth noting. First of all, I finally had to break out the maternity pants on Saturday. I don't know why I was holding out for so long. They really do feel wonderful. I finally decided to put them on after realizing that I was coming home, getting out of my jeans and putting on comfy pants as soon as possible to be comfortable. Yep, it was time.

I also had to hang-up my running shoes. I've never been able to run for this long before but, I felt good so I kept going. No cramping whatsoever, no hints of general discomfort or anything. But last week I noticed I was getting a bit more winded which just happens naturally as pregnancy progresses. So today I had to face the music and let it go. This morning was my last run. I knew it was coming...I'll be back. I always am. Until then, I'll walk-as hard and fast as I can :). As the months go on, the pace will definitely change the bigger I get! Ha!

On Thursday I took all of the kids in for an eye exam. Thankfully my mom came with me because it was a bit of a circus. I was planning to go by myself and when I told my mom that, she volunteered...what a champ! She loves me. Anyhow, Isaac and Elle got checked out and they're good. Joshua also turned out great. He just needs to keep wearing his glasses. At Caleb's last check-up, when they diagnosed him with strabismus (cross-eyed) like Josh, he had some amblyopia (vision loss) in his left eye. The eye doctor wanted to see how he improved with the glasses. We were really happy that his vision came back to 20/25! It was a huge improvement! His left eye is only slightly behind now.

However, she still felt it was important to get his left eye back to perfectly normal so we talked about patching. This is just so amazing to me. They have what is called a band-garder (I believe that's the name), and what it is, is a little film they put on the lens of his good eye. It blurs his vision just slightly so that his other eye has to work a bit harder. Brilliant! I don't have to remember to patch his eye everyday. All he has to do is wear his glasses (which he always does), and within four months, it should be back to normal. To a busy mom, this type of thing is genius!

This weekend I'm supposed to get away with a few of my best girlfriends from Cal Poly. I'm trying to hold the whole thing loosely because a lot can happen between now and then but, I am starting to get really excited!! Here's one of them...

And that, my dear readers is today's Monday Report.

Belated Birthday Boy and Monday Report!

This is in lieu of the Monday Report that never happened yesterday. It was Caleb's 5th birthday but after the weekend of festivities, I was comatose and could.not.move a muscle once the kids went to bed! I deliriously remember Steve gently moving me to my side of the bed when he finally crawled in but other than that, the evening was a blur.

So here is my belated birthday post and Monday Report. Unfortunately, due to technical difficulties beyond my control, the slideshow I had created for him with all of his darling pictures, won't post. So you'll just have to enjoy a few of my favorites here on the blog.

Caleb's 5th birthday party was attended by family and a few close friends/neighbors. The children enjoyed a flashlight walk/treasure hunt around campus where they searched for Finn McMissile's (from Car's 2) stolen treasure.

They were adorable on the hunt and ran hard from place to place! Afterward they enjoyed an oreo cookie ice cream cake with Finn McMissile on top (just as Caleb requested). It was a fun time and relatively easy for us to pull off. I like these types of parties! The best part is that it was exactly what he wanted. So, win, win!

On his actual birthday, Monday, he had a Monkey Bread breakfast. I've been trying to get my children onto the goodness that is Monkey Bread for ages! But they just balked at it. Finally, Caleb agreed to have it as his birthday breakfast. We can just say, they liked it. The entire mound of gooeyness was gone by dinnertime.

Steve had to start his midterms yesterday so after breakfast he went to Starbucks for the day and the kids and I went to Pump'd which is an indoor bounce house play area. We never go there because it's quite pricey. But it was the perfect thing to do as a special birthday outing. All afternoon he rode his new bike with his buddies at the school and then the day ended with his favorite dinner-chilli with all the fixings. That kid is easy to please. It was definitely a wonderful 5th birthday.

Now here are my reflections on him actually turning five:

I very distinctly remember when Isaac turned five years old. In fact, I wrote about it here. It was a pivotal parenting moment for me because I really felt like the foundation had been laid for him. Now that's not to say that we were done training him or anything like that but, I just knew that for better or worse, the cement had been poured and it was set. Gone were the years of pouring into his little soul; the years to come were for building. And my prayer was that the foundation we laid was strong enough for us to build on.

Once again, I feel the exact same way. Yet also a bit different because even though Isaac was our first and everything is hard with your first, he wasn't as hard as Caleb. Isaac was more textbook. Caleb, well he had no instruction manual and we needed one!! With him, it hasn't always been easy mostly because he was born with an intense amount of determination that usually seemed to manifest itself in a bundle of emotions and stubbornness. There are many times that we had NO idea how to direct his fight. Often he would fight the wrong things, like us, rather than his fears, frustration, anger or failures. In the thick of it, Steve would remind me, "We just have to direct his fight. It's good to be determined. It's a good trait; it just must be pointed in the right direction." Easy to say, not easy to do.

But now that the foundation has been laid, I have hope. He's a good kid. He's a strong kid. And he doesn't always choose right, but often now, he will fight for what is good and wrestle with what is evil. Now if only we can nurture that will of his and make it grow! God help us!!

Caleb is our quietest boy, but he's always thinking, creating and working. He's got a knack for designing then building, and his knowledge is simply intuitive. He blows me away on a daily basis. Caleb is extremely loyal (don't ever mess with any of his siblings or he will tackle you) yet highly compassionate. Our little man of few words has a HUGE heart and a logical but wild imagination. These past five years have been tough at moments but, seeing him now gives me so much hope for the future and makes me joyful.



To my precious second born son, who came into this world kicking and screaming amidst a fast and furious labor...we adore you.

You have taught us more things than you know and we will never be the same.

We pray that we will get to watch you grow into a man who loves the Lord with all his heart, seeks to do what is right and loves others. We'll always be here cheering for you and praying for you as you learn to navigate life.

We're so proud of you!

And that my friends is today's Monday er...Tuesday Report.

Invoking My "Mediterranean-ness"

How can I not be thankful that he "cleaned" my mirrors for me with hand soap after using the bathroom this afternoon?

Those grubby, darling, little hands even scrubbed into the corners.

So diligently, so carefully.

Never mind I just cleaned the bathroom this morning.

I'm a Greek. There's nothing a little Windex can't fix.

When Learning to Read Isn't Beneficial

I was debating whether or not to write this cute little story because I was a tad bit afraid of offending. But, after some reflection (and a relating of the story to friends), I've decided to give it a whirl...because it's my life, heck it's probably your life too and truth be told, it was totally innocent and simply hilarious.

Our oldest son has been participating in a youth basketball league and his games are at a local high school on Saturdays. This particular Saturday Steve was working on his final so I piled all the kids in the car and we headed out. My parents decided to attend the game that day and as I pulled up, my Dad was already on the street corner looking for a breakfast burrito from the taco stand. After waving at him, I went down the street to find a parking place.

Now just to give you all a little background, this high school is smack dab in the middle of downtown, which to put it nicely is, ghetto. Some people might call it ghetto fabulous but I just call it ghetto. As I was pulling all the kids out of the car, I heard Caleb excitedly squeal, "Mommy, Mommy, I know what that says!"

I'm busy unbuckling Elle and making sure Joshy is touching the car and not running into the street so I don't quite get what he's saying. I'm doing the whole smiling and nodding while saying something like, "Good, good, yes!" And then my ears start to tune into what he was actually saying and I become very alarmed as I move closer.

"Mommy, mommy, that says __________(insert offensive expletive)! Look I read it! I can read that!" And on and on he went repeating the word over and over while my jaw is nearly hitting the cement. As I look up, I see a very naughty word written in bright pink letters, ever so clearly on the gym wall. As a beginning reader, he can sound out anything written phonetically quite beautifully and that particular word is simply easy to sound out. It "follows all the rules."

Meanwhile, a very helpful mom who is taking her son to the basketball game too, bursts into laughter and is practically peeing her pants watching this whole exchange. I have to think quickly. Caleb doesn't notice her laughter yet, as he is simply feeling quite smug at the new word he has read on the wall. But I know it won't be long.

I flash the lady a look practically pleading with my eyes for her to zip it! And then I dig deep into the recesses of my soul to pull out all of the acting that I know from years of leading roles in various plays and I paint on the most calm, serene face that I can find. I then respond, "Yes, Caleb you did read that word very well. Good job! Now let's go to Isaac's game. We don't want to be late."

And with that, he skipped off ahead of me, completely unaware of the hilarity and vulgarity that had just been exchanged. And I was able to breathe again. Meanwhile, the innocent bystander was still laughing.

I figured that if I didn't make it a big deal he'd forget all about it and it would just be another word he was able to read. But if I talked to him and pressed him about what a horrible word it was, I knew it would stick in his mind.

And I was right. He hasn't mentioned it since.

I have no theological allegories to draw or anything good to pull out as a lesson from this story. Truly, there's nothing really to say. Except that it was totally innocent, absolutely hilarious and an utterly classic mom moment. Who ever thought learning to read could be so treacherous?

And if anyone has any doubt or thinks that my life is drudgery being a mom of many children, just remember this story. In my little life here, I just never quite know what is coming next!

Two Outta Four...50%!

We've got another cutie in glasses. That brings the grand total to two in our house. Two pairs to keep track of and two to keep clean. Two to hopefully keep from scratches and two chubby faces to adore behind their specs.

He's still getting used to wearing them (and so am I...his face looks so different) but we're really thankful that they're helping correct his vision. His eyes were turning in quite often.

I've still got my eye on this though (hardy har har) because his strabismus came on so suddenly. I want to be sure that's all it is. Although, that is how it looks now so we'll go with it.

Thankful.

Busy, Busy, Busy

Well, we've been busy. We've been to the eye doctor. Child number two, Caleb, is also extremely farsighted and will be outfitted in his very own glasses here soon. I'm super thankful that all is well with him and that he just needs glasses. His eye crossing came on quite suddenly (about six weeks ago) and at a much older age than Josh so , there was some concern that it could be a neurological problem. But for now, his eye exam was consistent with strabismus (eye crossing due to extreme farsightedness) and so, besides a new set of glasses, he is no worse for the wear. I'm doing better with him getting glasses than I first did with Joshy. I've seen how much having glasses has helped Joshua so I'm just thankful, especially since Caleb is just starting school.

Joshua had his moment to shine this week too as he made his debut at the ENT today. We saw the nicest doctor ever, who told me very confidently that there is no reason to remove tonsils unless they are an extreme hazard. He said, "They can even be quite large and not cause a problem." This statement came after I told him that Joshua cannot eat carrots, apples, and some meats and that our pediatrican had checked him out and wanted him to be evaluated. At three years old, he should be able to get those foods down. He chews them up forever and then finally ends up spitting them out. He also snores a lot when he sleeps but so do a lot of kids. However, when he had Joshy open his mouth, he exclaimed, "Wow! Those are some of the biggest tonsils I've seen. We call those a 4+!" All right! Considering this man's age, that was quite a statement. He then proceeded to tell me that between his massive tonsils and bulging adenoids, every time Josh tries to swallow it's like a cork stops up his throat or like two huge marshmellows. No wonder the kid is the messiest eater ever. He literally shoves food back into his mouth as he eats and must drink while eating in order to get his food down. I just always thought he was really messy.

So he'll be having a tonsillectomy sometime in the near future. Having this done will probably help his asthma as well. Every little bit helps.

The husband has been studying like a madman. He's doing really well in his class but is just gone a lot. I'm pretty used to it now but I do miss him like crazy.

But this weekend, we get him all to our selves...kinda. We have to share him with football but...that's okay. Because it's the annual AGO Pismo Tournament so, we get to go back to the promised land, eat amazing food, see tons of people we love and be all together for the weekend.

Speaking of which, I've gotta go. I've got tons to do.

Have a great weekend.

Case in Point

In order to juxtapose my last post with the heavily weighted male side of our house, this is what occurred last evening.

A little glimpse...

Right before bed, Caleb came up to me and gently but firmly dug his little chin into my arm. Before I could remind him he was being too rough with me, he looked at me fervently and said, "Mom, I'm ready to fight. I'm ready."

Instead of laughing in his face about the cuteness he was exuding (especially because he was oh.so.serious), I bit my lip and then said, "Well then, go find Dad. I'm sure he'd love to fight you."

And so he did.

All three of them did in fact.

Every weapon in the house was out. They were running, screaming, punching, kicking and wrestling around like crazy men. One of their favorite games is to throw stuffed animals at their Dad, which he promptly pelts them back with. It was absolute chaos. But it always is. It never fails that someone is crying for a minute because they got knocked around just a bit too much. That's usually when I give Steve "The Look" that basically says, "Did you have to tickle him that much?!!" Steve always "looks" back and says, "He's totally fine." And within a few seconds, they're back and ready for more.

At one point, Elliana was catching the energy for a bit so I sent her in to investigate just to see how she would handle it. She made it into the playroom where they were, saw the madness, threw me a little look and then side-stepped them every so carefully to go play with her kitchen. But not without giving her Da Da a little pat on the head first. That was her best shot people.

I about died laughing. And I couldn't believe this beautiful material was unfolding right in front of me, especially since I had just written about femininity.

The differences are just stark. And I love it.

Boys Day Out

We have shared season tickets to the 49ers for a few years now and this last Sunday, it was our turn to go to the game. In a crazy moment, we decided to take all of the boys since Joshy could still get in without a ticket. He gets left out of so many things still due to his age so, since we could bring him, we wanted to do it.

It was tons of fun.

We left Elliana with Grandma for the day and off we went.

Our version of tailgating was leftover pizza, chips and juice boxes. If you bring juice boxes to pretty much anything, you're an instant hero. So if you add chips to the equation, you can basically be transformed into a super hero in two seconds flat.

Just call us Mr. and Mrs. Incredible okay?!

Spittin' image, I know.

The only bummer about the game, besides the fact that they lost their ten point lead in the fourth quarter and then lost in overtime, was that it was extremely hot.

And I mean HOT!

It's never that hot at Candlestick (San Francisco for you out-of-towners)...ever.

But yesterday it was.

The boys (all of us rather) endured the heat for nearly three hours with the help of lemonade, ice cream and frequent head dousings with the water bottle and then we had to call it quits. It was just too hot.

We left right at the beginning of the Fourth Quarter.

But we missed the crazy traffic and didn't have to watch the heartbreaking loss at the end. In n Out always helps too at these moments.

I was just thankful to have my hands free of the baby to be able to hold hands and cuddle my boys.

Regardless of the heat and the loss, it truly was an excellent day.

PS: Andy Dollahite, I know that you were gloating as you thought of us poor 49er fans yesterday but just remember, you had to wear the 49er jersey all those years ago...we'll get you guys next time!!

This May Be the End of Me

So, one of the activities that the two boys do play very well together, is what they call a "camp out". Oh, how nice. And as much as I do want to encourage them in that area, this activity drives me a bit bonkers. Nevertheless, most days, I do let them do it.

One of the reasons it drives me crazy is that Caleb spends all this time building the camp out and then Elliana spies it and wrecks it in five seconds flat. There's never a good space to do it and keep her out of it. So, we go through a cycle of Caleb building feverishly and Elliana leveling it. There are tears, frustration and then a determination to try again from Caleb. Joshua just laughs about the whole process in the carefree way that he does, and Elliana looks at me like, "What mom?" Hmmm......

But truth be told, it's their favorite game right now and has been since Isaac started school. And they work together while doing it. So even though they pull out nearly every blanket we own, are very inefficient at cleaning it up (requiring me to be like a drill sergeant), and there are multiple near meltdowns over the whole process, I still let them do it.

Am I insane?

Yup, I think this confirms it.

I've definitely got some screws loose.

Oh well, at least they're being friends.

Inseparable

It was just one of those mornings you know. Everybody was fighting. Everyone was crying. There was hardly any listening going on and I was about to go hide in the bathroom. I'm not quite sure what triggered the madness. And really, it doesn't matter. Even if I was the perfect mom, these days would still come. I've seen mornings like that more times than I'd like to admit and I know they will continue as long as my children are under our roof. It's just life.

But amidst the unusual chaos (in my house there is usual chaos and unusual chaos), I did discover a little gem. I had been wanting to try this for awhile after hearing/reading about it somewhere. I don't even remember where. So if it's your idea...sorry for stealing it! But after many attempts to get the two boys to play nicely with one another, I decided to tie their hands together and make them travel as "one" for a period of time. All of my boys are different but, I want them to grow up to be best friends. So whatever it takes to encourage that, I'll do.

I can't tell you how well it worked! They were forced to work together. And really, they got along swimmingly (while being attached that is). I think one of the main pet peeves of all parents is sibling infighting. Isn't it just horrible?! Isaac and Caleb play pretty well together now. They don't butt heads a lot. But Joshua and Caleb are a whole different story. Somedays they will do great. But most days, there is a decent amount of fighting. There's just something about the dynamic of three boys that makes the second and third naturally at odds. I think it's a lack of a leader among other things. My prayer for them this year, while Isaac is at school, is that they'll become inseparable just like Isaac and Caleb are. That is really my prayer.

And I guess, today they were. Whether they liked it or not.