A few weeks back my oldest and I had sat down for a little chat. I've really come to cherish the times I have with him while the other two nap in the afternoon. Everyday we play a game. And everyday we practice reading during this time and then he goes and takes a rest while I rest. It's precious to me. Most days nothing monumental happens but sometimes little nuggets come to the surface as he might share with me something on his heart or something that's bothering him.
This day in particular we were talking about his Dad. My little Isaac is enamored with his Dad. That's the way he's always been. My other two love their Dad very much as well but for some reason, Isaac has just always been a Daddy's boy. Maybe it's because he's a firstborn son. I don't know. However, it's just who he is. Anyway, as we were talking about his Dad, he tells me how much he loves him and how Steve works hard for him (we talk about this a lot because I want my boys to know and understand how hard their Dad works for them so that they learn how to provide for their own family one day). Anyway, I asked him why he loved his Dad and he looked at me with his huge blue-grey eyes and without skipping a beat said, "Because he kisses you Mom."
This totally caught me off-guard. I've always known that it's so good for our kids to see us show appropriate affection for each other but I never thought my four and a half year old would be able to express his utter delight in watching his Dad, his hero, love his Mom. It really struck me. And stuck with me. And reminded me of the importance of Steve and I keeping our marriage strong.
Lawrence R. Lucas writes about this very topic in his book, The Things You'll See (I've quoted this book before). "Something about children seeing their parents being affectionate with each other seems very right. It teaches them to be affectionate themselves with the spouses God may give them, and it shows them how. It blesses and approves in their eyes the enjoyment God intends us to have in one another. I believe it also warms and delights them, in part because it shows them tangibly that all is well in the house between mom and dad." pg. 77
So I guess there's no need to be shy. A healthy dose of affection is good for everyone-including the children. Maybe when Steve comes home tonight I'll tell him to plant one on me, you know, for the childrens' sake.
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