Thursday, September 23, 2010
This little guy is the goofball of the house. He has SO much personality wound up inside of him that is spills out involuntarily and constantly. Sometimes his exuberance is to his advantage and sometimes it is not. Anyhow, I knew something was wrong with him today when he wouldn't eat his lunch and then proceeded to lay on the couch crying next to me while I nursed the baby. I finally put him down for an early nap thinking his cold was just bothering him.
When he woke up, he breathing was very rapid and labored and he wouldn't stop crying. My mom happened to be visiting and she has a TON of experience with wheezing as all of her children, myself included, had varying degrees of asthma. She thought he was wheezing. So did I. That's when I decided to call my running buddy who is an NP and whose children also have asthma. I knew she could tell me for sure.
She lives very close by and so I ran him over to her house. She didn't even really need her stethoscope as she could tell he was wheezing just by listening to him. How did I not know this sooner? She told me to call his doc. Fifteen minutes and a phone call later he was in the car on the way to Urgent Care with his Dad (who was my hero and came home in the middle of grading tests to take him to the doctor). Luckily they got him in right away, he got a breathing treatment, his oxygen levels went back to normal and his little personality started to rebound.
Meanwhile, I'm back at the ranch feeling like a total loser. Asthma is really a tough phantom to deal with. His pediatrician has described it to me in the past like a smoldering fire. You think it is out yet a little bit of oxygen can get it roaring again in no time. Joshua hadn't had any sort of episode in a year and a half and he'll be two on Monday. A whole year and a half! That's three quarters of his short little life. He's had numerous colds since then but none of them have caused the scary turn of events that happened today. I didn't even have any medicine on hand anymore because I didn't think I'd need it. I was totally unprepared.
When he was in his first year of life he had a few episodes of wheezing that caused our doctor to guess he might have asthma. For awhile I thought he might too and I was diligent to watch him carefully whenever he got a cold. But then, it seemed to totally disappear for a long time. I got comfortable. I stopped looking for signs and let things slide here and there. And then this attack came out of nowhere and I was left feeling like I just won the Stupid Mother of the Year Award. I knew he was susceptible. I should've seen it coming. How did I miss the signs?
Days like this remind me that being a mom is so dependent on God's sheer grace. People always think since I have four children, that I have so much experience/practice at being a mom. Well, hear me now people, while I do get a lot of practice, it definitely doesn't always make perfect. I make mistakes constantly whether its in judgment and fairness, lacking patience with a child, or a health related issue like Joshua's asthma. I just simply can't get it all right no matter how hard I try to. None of us can really.
Yet, I have this umbrella of protection that covers me. It's called God's grace and mercy. The two working in tandem make it so I can survive these years with a confidence that comes from knowing that there is Someone else looking out for my children besides myself. It doesn't mean that I'll make it through without anything bad happening. It just means that whatever does happen, happens because God has allowed it to, whether it's good or bad. I can find rest in knowing that He will care for me.
I totally saw that today. My mom happened to be around making it much easier for me to run Joshua over to my friend's house without having to pack everyone up to go. I may not have acted as quickly if she wasn't there. Plus my mom was the one who thought he needed to be tended to in the first place and encouraged me to get it checked out. Then my friend happened to be home. She works part-time but has Thursdays off. She also totally knows what to look for so it was so great she could check him out. Then Steve got him to Urgent Care before he totally went downhill. These are all ways God cared for me and covered me, even though I didn't quite see what was going on at first and I'm thankful.
So now that that's over and all we need to do is keep administering medicine for the next few weeks, I can breathe a bit easier myself. Yet, in the meantime I've declared war on this pesky little disease called asthma.
All right sneaky little asthma. I've got my eye on you now. You may have gotten me this time but from now on, I'm on the lookout. Lord willing, you won't sneak past me again.