"What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun." Ecclesiastes 1:9
So the little girl took her first steps last week. And this week, she's decided she likes it quite a lot. If she wants to, she can go for a couple of feet and slowly toddle toward us. So adorable.
When I sit to think about it, this year has flown. It seems like just a minute ago that I was here...the night before she came. Just an aside: isn't it always incredible to look back at pictures of yourself at the end of pregnancy and see just how big your belly is! I always feel big, but to see it, WOW! How do we ever walk at the end? Very slowly! Anyhow though... And now, she's on her own two feet. Soon she'll be tearing through the house.
Somebody please make it stop.
My littlest baby is getting older. The next thing I know, she'll be asking for the keys to the car. I know we want them to grow up. But with each successive child I've had, I've wanted them to stay little for just a tad longer each time-to savor them, drink in their baby smell, kiss their chubby cheeks and thighs, and hear them belly laugh just one more time. I've learned to enjoy the process that much more and mostly that is because I've come to realize, over time, how it all passes away rather quickly. So instead of wishing it away, I try to internalize it as much as possible.
But there is so much joy in the growing though. It is good and God designed life that way. I do want my kids to grow up and mature. I do want them to learn how to love God and those around them. I do want them to grow in wisdom and knowledge over time.
Recently we've been talking with our oldest about time and how when you're little it goes really slow. But that when you're older, it goes so fast. Too fast. Along these same lines, our pastor has been preaching right through Ecclesiastes and the futility of life, how God has given us our lives to enjoy His blessings but also how, without Him, it is utterly meaningless.
It's a total oxymoron. Only God, who is wisdom Himself, can sort it out. But even so, here's my little stab in the dark.
Her first steps-memorable, fun, exciting-yet utterly meaningless. All of my other kids' accomplishments, totally meaningless. Nothing is new under the sun. Nothing.
Yet because they're meaningless in the grand scheme, in turn, we as the parents, get to enjoy them. That's God's blessing to us. If we learn to see them as meaningless, then we will worship the One who made them to do these amazing things and not our kids in themselves.
"There is no remembrance of former things, nor will there be any remembrance of later things yet to be among those who come after...I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind." Ecclesiastes 1:11, 14
Not that there isn't hope...just not hope in ourselves and our own accomplishments because in the end, they're all forgotten.
So once again, pondering things I don't really understand. I probably don't even make sense. But this I do know-this life doesn't really mean much apart from Christ. And the time He's given us is fleeting. So I better enjoy it.
As all of my kids continue to grow, I need to keep this perspective. Enjoy them; be proud of them; relish in their strengths; encourage them in their weaknesses. But remember who made them and how short the time really is.
I am Nikki Dauphin, wife to Steve since July 2002, and mom to four boys and one little girl. Currently my husband is pursuing his PhD in mathematics, so as you can imagine, with five kids in tow, there are many adventures to behold! I'm learning how to raise a brood of boys and one precious princess, be a homemaker, how to be a lovely wife to my handsome and dashing husband and how to love those around me. Stop and stay awhile. Family stories, recipes, musings on life and lessons I'm learning are all a part of this blog. I love the life I've been given and thank God for His many blessings.
Steve-My amazing, fix-it, brilliant, math-loving, puzzle-solving husband is a Math PhD student pursuing his graduate degree through Colorado State University. He is also a Year Round Graduate Intern for Sandia National Labs researching and working on projects related to national security and preparing for his dissertation. We met at Cal Poly, SLO and were married in 2002. Seriously, he's my best friend.
Isaac-Laughter. My precious firstborn. Blue-eyed, blondie, logical, lefty. Particular, orderly, courageous, funny, and intelligent. Sees the world in patterns, numbers, colors and shapes. My first son. My joy.
Caleb-Brave. My mischevious secondborn. Brown-haired, coal-eyed, soldier. Needs explanations about how the world works. "Mathy", inquisitive, architectural and mechanical. Silly, passionate, tough, long-suffering and smart. My second son. My love.
Joshua-Saved by the Lord. My irreplaceable thirdborn. Bubbly, gregarious, social and playful. Loves to be surrounded by his family. Cuddly, kissable, chubby and charming. Life of the party, full of joy, overflowing with humor and laughter. My third son. My light.
Elliana-The Lord Has Heard. My long-awaited daughter. Petite, dark-eyed, beauty. Strong, coordinated, cheeky and spunky. Sharp as a tack and a flitting socialite. Loved by every member of her family. My fourth born. My only daughter. My treasure.
Nathan-God Has Given. My fourth son. Yet, it never gets old. My youngest little gift. Gentle, strong, sweet, angelic. Blonde and light-eyed. Littlest of them all but full of life and love. My fifth born. My littlest man. God's given. My gift.
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