Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I know I talk a lot about boys on this blog but I just can't help it. I mean, can you blame me? The only touch of femininity that there is in this house comes from me, as I'm outnumbered 4 to 1, and it's difficult for me to get into the shower sometimes let alone make myself up with ribbons and bows all the time. But that's okay. I don't really mind my boy world at all. In fact, they can be quite simple most of the time. Here's an example: You took my toy, I'm going to wrestle you. Simply handled. And after they've "worked it out" they go back to playing their game. Forgiveness is easy. No holding grudges. I wish I could be more like that sometimes!! My feelings can get so jumbled up for days it seems like.
It really does amaze me how much my little boys really just resemble little men. I've written about this before. Yes, they need some major kinks ironed out of them on their way to adulthood but, much of who they are has already been imprinted upon their hearts in their personalities and likes/dislikes. It's the same with girls as well. More reminders to me that character does and must matter so much in these early years. There isn't time to just wait for tomorrow or later to deal with weaknesses. I must face problems now. They'll only get worse with time and neglect. I can do my part. My husband can do his part. And we can screw up royally in the process. And then there's this lovely, amazing, mysterious thing called GRACE that covers all of us.
When I started this journey I wanted to do everything absolutely right. I think most parents do. I think I'm starting to see, after falling on my face so many times, that I'm not always going to get it right but that God's grace will come in and fill in where I can't giving wisdom, patience, perseverance and most of all love. So much depends on me and on us for these little men and we must take it seriously. But I'm so thankful that God is there at every step, helping us along, showing us the way and teaching us through our mistakes how to do things better. Without that knowledge, where is my hope?
I can't just cross my fingers and wish with all my might that they somehow learn to get along in this world. I must teach them what is right. However, it's not just about right behavior either. Of course, obedience flows from the heart and is expressed outwardly and this must be trained from a young age. But I want their heart. I want them to learn to obey because they love and trust me. Just like their Dad and I want to please God because we love and trust Him. Yet why do I want them to learn to obey? Because if they don't, it will be very difficult for them to learn to obey God and the world is a much harder teacher than I am. So we just keep working, tirelessly, day after day, but not without hope. We put our hope in Christ who is our daily companion. Our teacher. Our intercessor. And we entrust these little men, these crazy, silly, precious little boys to the One who made them. And we wait with great expectations.