Often the most pertinent information revolves around who needs to be dressed, taken to school, when the baby needs to eat, or what needs to be done with the wrestling, fighting brothers in the other room. As an aside, I swear, the spirits of Jacob and Esau have arisen in Caleb and Joshua. Those two fight/wrestle constantly...often Caleb is serious and intent on beating Joshua for bugging him or something like that and Joshua is laughing his head off the whole time, simply pleased his big brother is paying attention to him. Isaac and Caleb don't do that to each other. Caleb idolizes Isaac and Isaac sees Caleb as his equal. Enough said. Somebody help me, I don't know what to do with my middle boys. Will it ever end?
Anyhow, back to my fog. Due to my aimless lifestyle, I am really coming under the conviction that I need to be more organized. I'm not the most organized person but I'm not totally unorganized either. I'm kinda a weird mix. I am a free spirit. I like being my own boss. For instance, I hate meal planning because I really like seeing what I feel like making that day rather than having my calendar tell me what to do. So much of cooking for me is about being excited about what I'm doing. How am I supposed to know what will be exciting to me in three days' time or what I'll feel inspired to create? This is my dilemma with meal planning. You'd think nearly eight years into my job as a stay-at-home mom I'd have some of these things ironed out, but I don't. It's hard to reconcile my personal tastes with these aspects of life. However, I'm also pretty methodical too. In order to move all of these little people through the day, I have to be somewhat structured. My free spirit always runs into my logical side at some point and then straightens up.
|Just one of many problem areas in my house!|
But Nathan's addition to our family has been my tipping point in so many ways. I can't manage well flying by the seat of my pants. I can't do it. The only reason I've been able to muster a semblance of organization is because I have a fairly good memory. But, like I mentioned before, my brain is too full at this point and it cannot take much more information in. Therefore, the crutch I used to rely so heavily on is faltering under the weight, which causes the regular trip-up.
One of the many blessings that comes with managing a home is the ability to set the tone for yourself. My husband trusts me completely and gives me a lot of room to make decisions, set schedules, etc...and I really flourish in this environment. So it's a really delicate balance-I want to be who I am but I also want to do a good job. Part of learning and stretching is knowing when you need to change and grow. I need to achieve somewhat of an organized chaos. Yes, that's it. Organized chaos.
|Nightly ice cream-don't judge! Cathartic medicine that helps me organize for the next day!|
One step at a time.