Friday, March 8, 2013

O My Soul

I've grown up in the church.  I have been a Christian ever since I can remember.  I haven't always done the right things but, my heart has been Christ's since I was a little girl-that I know.  As I've gotten older, I have come to understand just how wicked my heart is, even with Christ.  It's wretched and it often whispers its lies to me-greed, selfishness, idolatry, envy, covetousness.  Everyone is steered by their hearts but, women are especially.  Yet, we're always told to "follow our hearts" because our heart won't lead us astray.  

This is so false.   

My heart leads me into places I should not be, on a regular basis.  The Bible says that the "Heart is deceitful above all things."  Jeremiah 17:9

Over the years, I have learned to be suspect of what is in my heart holding my desires up against the scriptures.  Not that I cannot have emotions, desires or excitement but, I must always know that I am in charge of what comes out of that vital vessel and I must discipline myself to hold it up to the Light.  For often what germinates inside is very sneaky, masked in light but really cloaked in darkness.  The longer I walk this earth, the more clear this becomes to me.  

Wisdom and discernment keep a heart in check.  I don't have much of these virtues so I must rest in Christ.  He is the judge of every heart.  Any good that comes out of my heart is Him.  Not me.

I'm a fan of Audrey Assad and I've posted about her and her song, Restless, before.  I discovered this little gem while listening to Spotify last night.  It was perfect timing.  For once again, I was in a mental battle to gain ground with my heart-my deceiful, wretched heart.  

I listened to it over and over again.  It was strangely comforting to hear the words, "Don't lie to yourself, o my soul-love your God."  It sounds strange yet those words make perfect sense to me.  As I've grown in understanding and maturity, I feel like I am constantly having to remind myself that I must die.  My desires, my heart, my ambitions, everything must die for Christ to reign.  And the way I die, is by loving God.  O my soul, love your God.  Don't your God.

Hope this song blesses you.  

O My Soul 

Rivers and stones and the trees of the field, they sing in the night 
And a thousand tongues lay deep in your lungs to raise to the sky 
Don't lie to yourself, o my soul—love your God. 

Deep in your heart you feather and tar your folly and fear: 
Expose them for the fools they are, and the world comes clear. 
Don't lie to yourself, o my soul—love your God. 

Your worries will never love you 
They'll leave you all alone 
But your God will not forsake you 
O my soul.

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