It's disappointing and discouraging. However, whenever we step out for anything we know that no matter how good something might look, we want to follow God. That takes faith. A lot of faith!
I am a pessimist at heart. When I first got married to Steve, the eternal optimist, I thought I was a realist. As time has gone on, I've realized that no, I am a pessimist and that I truly need to work more on being optimistic. Why? Because God calls us to faith. And that faith is what gives us hope.
The boys and I read parts of Matthew 9 this morning at the breakfast table and it tells how Jesus healed many. Many were healed because of their faith. They knew Christ could heal so they stepped out, went after Him and then were healed. I want active faith like that. I don't want to shrink back into my pessimism because I'm afraid. I want to trust God like those people did. God give me more faith!
Over the weekend, I tried to cheerfully sift through the emotions that bubbled over in my heart. And as I did, the same truths that have been with me since I was a child, kept coming to mind-
God loves me.
God never sleeps.
God knows what I need.
God is always faithful.
We've been here before. And God always takes care of us. It's not that the feelings of let down aren't real. Or that we don't understand why God set us on that path in the first place.
But, BUT as God writes our story, we are aware that He knows what He is doing.
An oldie but goodie Caedmon's Call song has been speaking to my heart throughout this entire process- Lead of Love.