Eight Amazing Years

“Marriage is a vocation. It is a task to which you are called. If it is a task, it means you work at it. It is not something which happens. You hear the call, you answer, you accept the task, you enter into it willingly and eagerly, you commit yourself to its disciplines and responsibilities and limitations and privileges and joys. You concentrate on it, giving yourself to it day after day in a lifelong Yes.” --Elisabeth Elliot, Let Me Be a Woman, p. 102

Steve...Another year and another anniversary flies by. Eight years. It seems but a breath, yet a whole lifetime.

July 20, 2002

Being married to you is my greatest joy. I love you more with each passing day and am in awe of the beauty that God has painted in both of our lives by us being so closely knitted together.

Hume Lake 2004

It amazes me how, the longer we're married, the more I feel like you're just a part of me and I'm a part of you. Yet at the same time, I can look at you and you're still a mystery to me...a strong, courageous, quiet mystery.

I pray that we will grow old together. I pray that God will give us much time.

Cal Poly's Graduation 2004

For you are my beloved and there is no other. I have known no greater love, other than the Love of my Savior, than the love you have poured into me. Steve, "In this life, you're the one place I call home."

I love you,

Nikki

Waffles With Little Effort?

Seriously?! How many of you like homemade waffles but don't like how long it takes to make them? I mean, if you're like me and your children are like mine, it's difficult to have breakfast too long after everyone wakes up. I want something that can be made fast, but still taste amazing and my kids...well, they just don't want to have to wait too, too long.

But I like to have good breakfasts, especially on the weekends. Why? Because it's just plain fun to have good breakfasts. And it makes the weekends festive, fun and full of delicious memories. But, with our Sabbath Dinner on Saturday night and church on Sunday mornings, I don't want to put much effort into making anything elaborate on either Saturday or Sunday mornings or else I'll probably find myself going crazy before long. There must be balance. Therefore, I am ALWAYS on the hunt for recipes that can be assembled the night before and then baked/put together the next morning. On my repertoire so far of make-ahead go-to hits are cinnamon rolls, bagels, coffee cake and pancakes (although these aren't make ahead, they're so easy and fast to make from scratch it doesn't matter). Waffles sounded great to me too but I never wanted to go through the process of making the batter in the morning. Some of the best waffles are the raised kind (leavened with yeast) but they sadly just take too long.

But wait...not anymore. I'm happy to report that I have the BEST waffle recipe and it came from none other than Cook's Illustrated. When I had Elliana, some friends came and spoiled us with treats in the hospital. They brought Steve a celebratory beer, me some magazines and some other fun things like Odwallas and strawberries (thanks Renos!!). Among the magazines they brought was a Cook's Illustrated. I had never seen this magazine before but I quickly realized it was put out by the same people who do the America's Test Kitchen cookbook which is one of my FAVORITE and old stand-by cookbooks. Anyhow, I devoured this magazine during my stay in the hospital (and continue to by the way) during late night feedings and mere lounging around while Ellie was sleeping. And lo and behold, in it was a recipe for Overnight Yeasted Waffles.

I had to try them. They seemed too easy. But after one test-run this weekend...we have a winner. Do try these at home. They are so, so good. And the best part is that the leftovers can be frozen and reheated in the toaster for a quick breakfast during the week.

ENJOY!

Overnight Yeasted Waffles

1 3/4 cups whole, low-fat or skim milk (doesn't matter; I used whole because that's what we have)
1 stick of butter cut up into 8 pieces (I know it's a lot of butter but it makes a lot of waffles)
2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp instant yeast (I used regular active dry yeast because it's what I have)
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract

1. Heat milk and butter in small saucepan over medium-low heat until butter is melted, about four minutes; let cool until warm. Note: it's important to let it cool to lukewarm so that it's not too hot to kill the yeast but still warm enough to proof the yeast (if using regular not instant yeast.) Meanwhile, whisk flour, sugar, salt and yeast together in large bowl.

2. Gradually whisk warm-milk mixture into flour mixture and continue to whisk until batter is smooth. Whisk eggs and vanilla together in small bowl until combined, then whisk into batter until incorporated.

3. TO STORE: Scrape down sides of bowl with rubber spatula. Cover bowl tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 12 hours or up to 24 hours (mine only went 11 hours and was still fine).

4. TO SERVE: Heat waffle iron. Remove batter from refrigerator when waffle iron is heated. Whisk batter to recombine. Batter will deflate. Bake waffles according to manufacturer's instructions. Use about 1/2 cup for a 7-inch round iron and about 1 cup for a 9-inch square iron. Serve hot. Or cool on a wire rack. Once cool, freeze. Reheat in toaster.

A-MA-ZING!

And for fun...some recent pics because a blog post without pictures isn't that exciting. Of course, I didn't take pictures of the waffles because I'm just not that on top of things right now. But here's some random, silly ones of the children.

Elliana's first bath! Yes, it took me three weeks to do it but to be fair, she hardly spits up and it took over two weeks for her umbilical cord to fall off. So there...I have good excuses!


Summer bounty. Quite large!

Put into perspective! Definitely HUGE! We didn't realize zucchini can get that big. Looks like we left them on the vine a little too long.

The boys were sick with some sort of flu last week. All had high fevers and two of them had their share of throwing up. That's always fun. So we watched tons of movies and built forts. Movies and forts. Such is the life huh!!

Well, have a great week.

Year in Review

Next week we will celebrate our 8th anniversary. I can hardly believe it. We were just young pups eight years ago when we said, "I do." We clearly didn't know what we were getting into but we stepped out on faith and God has been faithful to meet us and care for us on this amazing journey. Yet it's easy to forget or simply gloss over all that happens in life and we want to remember...we want to notice...we want to cherish and celebrate what God has done and all He's brought us through and blessed us with. So, one of the ways that we've been able to see and record God's amazing love for us over the years has been in our annual Year in Review.

Now let me just say this: I didn't come up with this myself. I stole it from someone else. When we were first married, one of the leaders in our Newlyweds Sunday School class at church mentioned that every year she gave her husband a Year in Review on their anniversary. She never explained to me what it was or how she went about it, but I could pretty much figure it out. After that, I decided that I was going to do that and since I didn't know how she did hers, I just made it up for us.

So every year I write out a Year in Review and read it to Steve on the night of our anniversary. Basically, my review looks something like this. I pick a verse that characterizes our year together, write Steve a little note from me, and then recount all of the major events of the year. Some years there are more than others. I also added a section, as we got more children, telling about each one of them and fun little facts about them in their development at the time of writing. I always end the review with listing out our vows.

This type style works well for me because I like to write. However, if you wanted to try something like this but don't like to write, you could be creative and come up with a picture collage or just list events. Whatever you want!! It's your review and your family!!

Going through the year is a wonderful time of remembering for each of us. I always loved that someone else gave me this idea so I thought I'd throw it out there for anyone who thinks it would be a fun thing to do. Make up your own way...you can do whatever you want. I will tell you though...I've been SO thankful to have all of our reviews stored away in a little binder to look at here and there. And one day, our children will have a long history of our family to relish in and be thankful for.

However, I know that lots of you remember the year with your spouse in other ways. What are some of the ways? I love hearing new ideas about this sort of thing and who knows? Maybe somebody else will read your idea and implement it into their family life? I'm sure the leader of our class doesn't even remember our conversation but I do and her words have impacted our family for a lifetime.

So...don't be shy...how do you remember and reflect on your year together? I'd love to hear from you.

Looking for Perfection...and Not Finding It!

Every single time I have a baby I get a face to face confrontation with some of the same old habits that have haunted me for years. One of my worst ones is a tendency toward legalism. It seems that by the time another child comes along, I've spent the past year and a half perfecting my kids' schedules, working out regularly, spending time in the word, cleaning house and frankly, I feel quite good about myself. Why? Because...shhhhhhhhhhh....don't tell anyone...I like order. I also like to work hard and so being that those two things are true of me, I like things to run smoothly and well. I don't want stuff all over my floors or dishes in my sink. I want things looking nicely. I want to feel that I'm on top of things because it makes me feel better.

Nevertheless, this type of personality that plagues me can be both a blessing and a curse. You see, I always walk the line of legalism. I definitely don't struggle with lazy, which is a sin too but legalism...God has some pretty harsh things to say about it. Like you know, he HATES it! I struggle with the balance of wanting to do a good job with things and not knowing when to let go and just let things be. I would be Martha working in the kitchen, angry at her sister, while the GOD who created me was right in my living room. And to be honest, I'd feel pretty self-righteous about my work too and fairly down on my sister Mary. Who does she think she is? Doesn't she know we have dinner to put on? Who cares that He's God when I need to feed all these people? It's easy for me to slip into this mentality when I have things fairly well dialed in which is usually where I find myself right before another infant comes along.

I think God does this on purpose. Oh...she's getting too confident again...better give her another baby and see how she handles that!! And the more I have the more sanctified I get whether I like it or not. You see, I'm just so tired all the time that I could drink caffeine all day and still fall asleep standing up (and the little girl would be screaming from an upset tummy...insult to injury I tell ya). I forget things easily right now and have to apologize for being late on things I shouldn't be. Luckily we're getting meals because if it weren't for them, we'd be eating Mac n' Cheese every night. And please, if you come by my house, don't look closely at my bathrooms because frankly, they're hideous.

I'm used to feeling strong and capable but in reality I'm weak, forgetful, at times confused and simply plum tuckered out. Of course this is all normal but it's so hard to accept. And for me, accepting help from others is even harder. This is what happens to me every time and every time God has something else for me to learn in it. A bunch of different personalities around my table at night also reminds me of all that God is teaching me. My children are far from perfect and their struggles are MY struggles. Mine are just masked because I know far better how to hide and still appear fine. But the hiding is sin. Outward appearances and rules don't make one righteous. Forgiveness from sins through Christ, His redemption and grace do. Having an infant in the house brings me back to this ground zero and reminds me of my frailty.

Just this morning, my third-born Curious George was found in the church kitchen many, many times and at least once he was turning the burners on. Note to self: continue to work tirelessly with Joshua on first-time obedience. My second son got in a fight with his buddy on the playground. Check, check: continue to work with Caleb on self-control. And my oldest, well he came home begging to play a game with me and reminded me we hadn't played one together in a few days (major guilt-horrible mom). Mental note: continue to remind Isaac to be content and grateful for we do play a game together most days (also remind myself that I do need to keep playing with him even when I'm tired.) Oh my goodness. And that was just this morning. I can't really keep up and even when I think I can, one of the boys throws me a curve ball.

But really, I'm not made to keep up. I can desire to do a good job and work hard but once I start thinking I'm so in control then I've crossed the legalism line and I'm putting on a show. God does want me to be diligent in my work and working hard for my family is a good thing. However, thinking that I'm pulling off my daily tasks is quite another. To be honest, if God wasn't giving me patience, grace and love, I'd be a pretty lousy mother no matter how spic and span my bathrooms are. I'd also be a horribly cold wife as well and no one wants to sleep with an icy, dripping faucet.

So what am I trying to say? I don't really know. Just that I'm finding myself in that same spot yet again...tired, needing help and behind on everything. But I've also come to understand, after many times now in this spot, that in time, I'll be able to pick myself back up, feel a bit more normal (as I get more sleep) and I will get the hang of things a bit someday. And maybe, through Elliana's arrival, I will learn to let go just a little bit more than I did before and grasp a hold of the joy God wants me to suck out of this sweet life He's given to me.

That's what having children does. I think a lot of women struggle in this way and when God gives us children, He uses them to kick our selfishness, legalism, greed and pride right out the window. So here's to being sanctified. I won't even try to fight it this time...well...at least not too much.

Reflections

The past ten days have been a bit of a whirlwind. Lots of family (helping of course), lots of nursing, lots of laughter and at times some tears. I just LOVE the hormone crash don't you?!! But really, things have shaped up quite nicely and the transition has not been as difficult as I anticipated. I was worried at first that I had another crazy baby on my hands (my second was really difficult for me and didn't sleep well at all) but once my milk came in, the little girl has hardly made a peep. The more days that pass the more I get to know her as well. I told my husband yesterday that I'm not really sure how I'm getting to know her when I hardly get to spend much time thinking about what she needs, but somehow, it's happening and by God's grace I'm learning some of her tricks. I'm hoping things continue to smooth out as the weeks fly by.

One of the things that has stuck with me since she was born is that life just keeps marching on. This has never been more apparent to me than in Elliana's incorporation into our family. Yes, we just welcomed our fourth child and yes, we're amazed still that we have FOUR! But, not counting the fact that we now have another little one living under our roof, things have pretty much continued business as usual. The boys still need to get outside and run off their energy. They still need attention, training, love and a special treat every once in awhile. They still need us just as much as they did before. The standards in our home haven't changed either and still need to be upheld. We've just added one more. I've been amazed at how quickly we've just fallen back into our life again. It's actually been quite comforting.

Of course we've had our share of mishaps, in case you think things have been near perfect or something...because they sure haven't even come close. Here's a recent example: yesterday I took the boys and Elliana for a little walk to get our mail from the school office. One thing that has been a bit difficult is getting all of their energy out on a daily basis because I can't physically walk miles right now so going on a bike ride or really anywhere that far from home is out of the question. By 11 am yesterday everyone was bouncing off the walls so off we went across the street for a little excursion. We got our mail and I told Isaac and Caleb to run three big laps around the school. They took off. Joshua was playing next to me and sitting on a picnic table bench. Before I knew it, he had fallen off the bench and hit his head on the gravel where he proceeded to get a little rock lodged in his head. And there was blood...lots of blood.

I couldn't pick him up due to the c-section and I was carrying the baby in the Moby as well on the front. So I literally dragged him home screaming. The older boys caught up soon enough. Once we were home, I realized that I couldn't pin him down to clean him up (he was pretty upset) due to my recent surgery and huge incision in my abdomen, so I quickly called my oldest child to my side and told him to go and get his Dad. I made sure to coach him before he left in what to say. I didn't want him bursting into Steve's class saying, "Dad!!!! Joshy's head is bleeding everywhere!!!" So I told him to go in quietly and say, "Dad if you could give your class a five minute break, that would be great because Mom needs you to come home and help her with Josh. He got a cut on his head." Later, Steve told me that he'd done just as I asked him to. Thank God. No need for a major alarm to be sounded in the middle of class. Just a quiet, SOS call that's all. Dad came home and saved the day. Isaac felt pretty big too. And Caleb helped me watch Josh and tried to comfort him with his blanket/elephant combo which he lovingly calls his "Doe". Don't ask me why.

So like I said, things haven't been boring or easy. Just mostly routine. And we've been having a lot of fun as well. We've been playing soccer in the back yard.

Making homemade ice cream on the Fourth of July. That was a lot of fun and surprisingly easy to make...even the custard part.

Toasting marshmallows and having s'mores after our Sabbath Dinner on Saturday. Don't worry...I didn't make dinner and it was all very simple. I'm so thankful that people are bringing us meals and I don't have to cook right now!! But it was still nice to all gather around the table and be together.

And Elliana...well, she's been sleeping, eating and pooping. And getting a few presents from her brothers now and then. What a lucky girl.

Elliana's Song

Baby woman, tiny in stature now
But your heart is a treasure



Little princess, come follow behind me now
I am reaching for you

Elliana...God has answered my prayers
Elliana...God will conquer my fears
To mother a daughter
To look you in the eye



To know that I have everything to walk with you in life
To give you to Jesus
That He would impart
The wisdom that I'm longing for to love your little heart
Elliana...God has answered my prayer



There will be others, to lead and to guide you girl
But only one you'll call mother
The honor is all mine, to show you what a woman's like
I'm so glad you're mine



Elliana...God has answered my prayers
Elliana...God will conquer my fears
To mother a daughter
To look you in the eye



To know that I have everything to walk with you in life
To give you to Jesus
That He would impart
The wisdom that I'm longing for to love your little heart
Elliana...God has answered my prayers

Oh the tenderness of God is twirling around in our living room tonight
Oh and lighten up your Daddy's eyes



And know he just wants to freeze you in time

Elliana...God will conquer our fears



To mother a daughter
To look you in the eye
To know that we have everything to walk with you in life
To give you to Jesus



That He would impart
The wisdom that we're longing for to love your little heart
Elliana...God has answered our prayers

She's here!!

Elliana Grace Dauphin

The Lord Has Heard

7 lbs, 4 oz 19 inches

Born at 8:20 am

We woke up bright and early and headed into the hospital. I immediately recognized the nurse that had attended Caleb's birth and who I LOVED. She basically got me through labor. I had written her a thank you note and so when she saw my name, she remembered me and asked to help prep my c-section. What a blessing from the Lord! I felt at ease almost at once.

After all of the prep work was done, I walked down to the OR carrying my own IV and hopped up to the table to get my spinal. That went much better this time as well. Elliana was born 20 minutes later. She immediately started crying and I asked Steve to make sure she was a girl. She was. But a few minutes later, the NICU nurse brought her close to my face let me see her for a brief second and then whisked her away. Evidently, she was working too hard to breathe and so they needed to get her stabilized.

I was sewn back up and headed to our room to recover. Elliana still was in the NICU and I began to understand that she would be there for quite some time. The nurses there and doctor were fairly certain she just had too much fluid in her lungs (and because she was a c-section, she hadn't had the benefit of it getting squeezed out while going through the birth canal). But they couldn't be certain. After a chest x-ray, they determined she did have fluid and started antibiotics to insure quick action if she was developing a pneumonia. Evidently, a pneumonia and too much fluid in the lungs from birth, look exactly the same on a chest x-ray. She started off with 50% oxygen saturation.

Around 1:30 pm the nurses wheeled my entire hospital bed into the NICU so I could hold my little girl for the first time. It was a wonderful moment. She and I stayed skin-to-skin for about an hour. By 3:30 they had weaned her off of all of the oxygen and she was breathing calmly on her own. She's been doing really well ever since. We still cannot have her stay with us until at the earliest, tomorrow morning but she is really doing so much better. And tonight I got her to latch on for the first time all day! She actually ate pretty decently on one side. I was so encouraged. It seems that she is pulling through and getting better as the hours go on.

I'm doing all right. I'm fairly comfortable and am thankful for the great care of the nurses and hospital staff. God is so faithful to carry us regardless the circumstances. I'm greatly encouraged by that fact and feel able to rest in His comfort and grace.

So...the name Elliana has been an absolute favorite of ours for over four years; we just kept having boys!! And the meaning seemed so appropriate. The Lord Has Heard. He has heard and has given us a daughter. We couldn't be more blessed.