This has been one of the best vacations we've had. We didn't do much. We putzed around. We celebrated Christmas in a grand way with all sorts of family in all sorts of different situations. We partied hard, played hard, and rested a lot. I slept in most mornings (that is until the house woke up), didn't clean the house, didn't organize much and didn't even cook a ton. The husband and I got some good talks in, watched way too many episodes of Kitchen Nightmares with Gordon Ramsey on Hulu, met with dear friends (some we had not seen in a long time-Nelsons I can't believe we did not take a picture!!) and really enjoyed our family.
It was bliss. It was restful. It was exactly what I needed.
Last year was one of the most stressful, long years of our marriage in so many ways. The hard work was worth it. But it was arduous and grinding. When we started getting to the end of the year, I began to get weary and discouraged (which is what I think led to me being sick for many weeks). It's hard to keep yourself going sometimes. But God was so kind to me and reminded me softly that He knows our future, He knows our desires and He provides in His time. Those reminders, being with friends that we love and the rest I received from constant parenting, disciplining, cleaning and managing all by myself, really helped to right my spirit. This break has set me back on my feet.
I'm ready to run. I feel ready to face this last semester.
But even though I'm ready, I want to change one thing about my perspective. I want to remember the Greatness of God in my circumstances. I don't want to just know it. I want to remember it, daily, hourly, minute by minute.
Last year I was just trying to get through. Every day I was just trying to make it. This year, I don't want to rely so much on my own strength. I hate being weak so I try to be strong all of the time. I think most women are that way. And in some ways that is good. God calls us to work hard and to be diligent, passionate people.
But I want to remember that it's okay to be weak in His arms. And it's good to remember that He is Great and Powerful and Mighty. I don't have to be all of those things all of the time. He is. I just have to be willing to keep going.
He is above everything. He has the universe in His hands. And He is strong. His love is strong. Everything about God exudes STRENGTH! It's comforting to know that there is something greater than myself. That I don't have to be strong all of the time. That I don't have to lug around my burdens all by myself.
That's what I want to remember this year. I want to be comforted by His greatness and to rest in it. There are many unknowns for our family right now. If I really think about it, I can get overwhelmed. But when I remember that God made the whole world by simply speaking, I can relax and learn to enjoy the path God has set us on.
Whatever comes.
Whatever comes.
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