Humbled

Yesterday we left pretty quickly after church because the 49er game was already in progress. It was a huge game too and so Steve really wanted to watch it. Heck, I wanted to watch it. We don't have any channels so, if he wants to watch a game, we have to get a bit creative. Sometimes he watches it online but since it was such an important game, Steve wanted to go watch it at our local pizza parlor. It was a total splurge and tons of fun. They have an arcade and so the kids just ran around pretending to play the games until lunch arrived. After that, they each got a couple of quarters to play. Once the fourth quarter hit, Elliana was done and ready for a nap so I headed home with the kids to put everyone to bed. Steve stayed for the end of the game and then headed over to Starbucks to study until dinnertime.

As I arrived home, I was pretty tired but was in mode to get everyone down so I could rest a bit. I pulled into the driveway and noticed our porch stacked high with these items. Whaaat? Strawberries? Trail Mix bars? Bananas, apples, canned corn, spaghetti sauce? Goodness personified. Such kindness and generosity laden in those boxes.

I quickly glanced around but found no note and no one in sight. Someone had just wanted to bless us.

The boys were excited. It's not everyday that they find all sorts of yummy stuff piled up on our doorstep. And do you want to know what the best part was? It was getting to share with them about how God cares for us all the time. It was so tangible...it was right in front of them. I explained how God wanted to bless us so He laid it on somebody's heart to give us all that loot. They got it. It was a great lesson for all of them.

It was a great reminder to me.

I have no idea who did it but, when these sorts of things happen, it always reminds me how much God provides for us. And it's humbling. Especially for people like us who really have so much (both of our parents always are doing stuff like this for us too).

So much.

Pretty thankful.

The Grad School Diet

Or...AKA "How to Conquer the Dreaded Dried Bean"

As a mom and manager of our home, I am always looking for ways to save money. I think all of us are. The urge to save a few, comes with the territory, I'm convinced. However, as our family has plunged further into the abyss of the Masters in Math, my skills have moved from quite helpful to expedient and necessary. And this is all fine because, really, it's like a game. How much money can we cut out of the food budget, while still feeding everyone well?

In the quest for winning the game, I've come to a few conclusions. One is that I need to shop more at Costco, not less. Some of you may not agree with me and might think Costco can be more expensive. On some things yes. But those things I get at Trader Joe's which leaves Safeway to be the place I pick up little things here and there, and my beloved ice cream. Must.have.ice.cream.

The second thing I've realized is that we need to eat even less meat. I'm not a huge meat eater anyway, so this hasn't been difficult for me. The husband has had to adjust a little bit but, has come along pretty nicely. That saves a decent amount. I've done a bit of fish when I can (frozen from Trader's is pretty reasonable) and I pick up meat whenever possible.

And lastly, this is a no-brainer, but I have really, really made sure we eat as many leftovers as possible. I tried to do this before but wasn't super strict about it. Now, I'm becoming more consistent. This has taken some getting used to. But all of us are coming around. Lunches are not immune either...I want all of our food eaten! And then I've stuck to things I already do, like making most things from scratch. Hear me now...that's not a dig on anyone who doesn't like to cook/bake like that. I just happen to enjoy it so it works for me. Plus, it saves me quite a bit of money too so it's a win, win.

But back to the meat. Since we aren't eating quite as much meat, I've started to dabble in the world of beans. Beans are cheap...dirt cheap. You know the saying, "We'll be eating rice and beans...." Well people, that's what we've been doing. And it's not as bad as it sounds.

Now first of all, I need to make a disclaimer right now. We live in America. We have the luxury of having different food every night. Heck, we even have food to eat every night so we are in no way starving!! However, in order to put the husband through grad school and send two of our boys to private school (because we want them to receive a Christian education and feel it's the best option for us), we've had to make some changes, to accommodate our dwindling food budget.

Okay, now that I got that out of the way, onto beans. Besides being the musical fruit, they are quite tasty and incredibly versatile. They can go in just about anything and kids love them. The only problem I've had with beans is that in order to really save bunches on them, you have to buy them dried, not canned and believe me, that is quite a roadblock. At least for me it is. Remembering to soak them is the worst and can derail me before I even start! But anyhoo...

I can hear what you're all thinking right at this moment, as I start talking about dried beans. "What?" You say. "Dried? People only cooked with dried beans in the 'olden days.'" Yes, I know. I'm with you. I'd much rather crack open a can of beans at dinnertime because it's convenient but, if you do it that way, you don't save much, if anything at all. However, buying a pound of dried beans (or even many pounds) is dirt cheap and yields many, many cups of beans. These beans can be frozen and used for all sorts of things. For our family of six, we need lots of beans.

When I decided to start incorporating more beans into our diet, what we lovingly call, The Grad School Diet, I realized that I had to get over my fear about preparing beans from scratch. Why did I feel I couldn't do it? Was it because many previous batches of mine ended up crunchy? Or was it laziness in reference to having to soak the beans the night before? I don't really know. But what I did know, was that I had to get over it and quick.

So, I pulled out my trusty America's Test Kitchen cookbook that NEVER fails me and got to work. The first crucial step is soaking. If you try and do the quick soak, they almost always cook unevenly. At least that is my experience. So, I decided to try a batch when I didn't even need them so there wasn't that pressure. I set the beans to soak the night before and simply simmered them on the stove top the next morning. I hardly looked at them and only stirred here and there between play dough, tinker toys and reading time. When the allotted time was up, I checked them and they were plump, rich and creamy? What? Did I really do it? Maybe it was beginner's luck. We ate beans that night for dinner and I froze the rest.

Then I tried a few different batches with a couple of different kinds of beans and they all worked. I sat amazed. Maybe all this time I was afraid of nothing. Or maybe, I just actually followed the directions (which included soaking the night before). Who knows for sure? Either way, coupled with some rice, stirred into soup, laden thick with chili or mashed for burritos, this beans thing was easy on my pocketbook and filled our bellies.

Here's a quick dinner idea: slap some rice together, along with a bit of cheese, sour cream, salsa (with our plethora of tomatoes we've had homemade-yummy) accompanied by the HUGE bag of chips from Costco that sells for $3.99 (it's the bag that never ends), and you've got yourself a meal. I can feed our family of six well, for a few bucks if that.

Just another great addition to our grad school diet.

Beans, Beans and More Beans

1. Soak beans in plenty of water for at least eight hours (just do it the night before or first thing in the morning)

2. Drain and put in a large stock pot. Then refill with water. Bring the beans and 1 tbsp. salt to boil. Then turn down the heat to a gentle simmer and cook until beans are tender. Follow the cooking directions for each type of bean listed. All recipes are for one pound of beans.

Black Beans- 4 qts. water, 1 1/2 - 2 hours
Cannellini Beans- 4 qts water, 1 - 1 1/4 hours
Great Northern Beans- 4 qts water, 1 - 1 1/4 hours
Pinto Beans- 4 qts water, 1 - 1 1/4 hours
Chickpeas- 4 qts water, 1 - 1 1/4 hours
Navy Beans- 4 qts water, 1 - 1 1/4 hours
Red Kidney Beans- 4 qts water, 1 - 1 1/4 hours
Black-Eyed Peas- 4 qts water, 1 - 1 1/4 hours

Enjoy!

For My Mom

Today is my mom's 60th Birthday. I never really appreciated my mom enough until I was a mom myself. Too many lost years. My mom is the most giving, caring, generous, fun person. She's always giving me a couple of bucks, buying me a Coke, getting snacks for the kids or driving out to see us. She encourages me to do what is right and helps me to see the good in life.

I'm so thankful for my mom.

Mom, your grandchildren love you!! God has blessed you these past sixty years.

Happy 60th!!

Because My Brain Isn't Functioning

I've been seeing the world in little snippets. Steve has been home two nights out of the last eight and so, as a result, I think I am becoming a bit brain-dead. Ha!! We're just mid-semester for A & M which means loooong, hard assignments and Steve had to attend a conference for work last week, so it's been busy. I also, for some reason, had the good fortune to visit our pediatrician's office three times for a total of five appointments (three were well-child checks). It's a good thing I like the guy! So I've also been running around like a crazy chicken. However, the really good news is that we got out with some of our bests this weekend for a little dinner. So incredibly yummy and recharging. And of course, I do not have a single picture of the event. Boo! Oh well.

But I don't think that I could write a cohesive post about really anything right now. The brain is mush. However, there are some things that have been swirling around in my mind as a result of some things I've been reading. I picked up Les Miserables after watching the movie this weekend. I read it in high school...700+ pages or so. I actually probably didn't really read it all in its entirety but rather skimmed some parts. It was still on my bookshelf so I decided to crack it open again since the story is one of the best ones I've ever heard. And I've had a lot of free time to myself in the evenings. Les Mis is such an amazing story of redemption and how the law, by itself, is a dead end-literally death. Incredible.

The Bishop, who ends up saving ValJean from re-imprisonment, even after ValJean had robbed him of his only earthly possessions that had any value-his silver and candlesticks, has some very choice things to say about life. These quotes totally spoke to my heart.

"We must never fear robbers or murderers. They are dangers from outside, small dangers. It is ourselves we have to fear. Prejudice is the real robber, and vice the real murderer. Why should we be troubled by a threat to our person or our pocket? What we have to beware of is the threat to our souls." Monseigneur Bienvenu, Les Miserables, Victor Hugo, pg. 42

Ummm...I'm always troubled by a threat to my person and my pocket. And I rarely have a look at the vice in my own heart which is far greater than any damage a real robber could do to me.

" 'Do not forget, do not ever forget, that you have promised me to use the money to make yourself an honest man.' ValJean, who did not recall having made any promise, was silent. The bishop had spoken the words slowly and deliberately. He concluded with a solemn emphasis: 'Jean Valjean, my brother, you no longer belong to what is evil but to what is good. I have bought your soul to save it from black thoughts and the spirit of perdition, and I give it to God.' "
Monseigneur Bienvenu, Les Miserables, Victor Hugo, pg. 111

I have nothing to say about this quote/scene. The beauty of this exchange is such a poignant reminder of God's lavish grace. I can't say much more than that.

These little snippets have been getting my brain, my heart and soul pointed in the right direction amidst the hustle and bustle of the last week or so. It's not been bad...just heavy...lots to carry. In my mind, that's what good literature, a good story, does. It speaks to the heart in such a dramatic and universal way and helps to peck away at the busyness of life to unearth what is really important. There's always hope and redemption. God's mercy is ever-present and ready for me to reach out and grab onto long after my brain is gone. And I have nothing to fear. God's will forever triumphs over all...good, evil, the wayward, the sinner, the pious and saved...even my trivial, little load here.

It always feels good to know, that He does triumph over all. Over all.

Better Than Botox

Every woman wants to be beautiful. I don't care who they are or what they look like. There is an innate sense in the heart of every single woman that simply wants to take someone's breath away. It's how we're wired...how we were made.

When Steve and I had only been dating a few weeks, I distinctly remember a conversation we had where this whole scenario played out. I knew he liked me and wanted to date me. I knew that he thought I was smart, funny, and whatever else he thought at the time. But there was one thing lacking that hadn't been addressed. In all of our "Define the Relationship" talks, he hadn't ever told me that I was beautiful. And I had to know. Was I beautiful to him? Because if he just thought that I was a fun person to be with, that simply wasn't enough for me. I needed to know if I was beautiful to him. Who cares about anyone else. I needed to know what he thought.

So I finally got the courage to ask him. The look on his face was just priceless. He looked at me incredulously like it was a ridiculous question and responded, "Of course I do. Don't you already know that?" Um, no. That is just not something that can be assumed. It's important to every girl's heart. It's like saying "I love you." Women never tire from hearing they're beautiful. Nor do they tire of being told that they're loved. These truths are universal.

Now in my husband's defense, he is a male. And he is also a math nerd. So to him, the thought of bringing up the topic of beauty really never crossed his mind. He's a simple and logical guy. To him, he had already told me that he liked me so he thought I would glean from that the simple truth that he thought I was pretty. A (I like you) + B (I want to seriously date you) must = C (I think you are attractive)!!! He quickly learned that the two were not synonymous and that my feminine ways didn't add up like an equation. At least not the ones he was used to.

So deep inside every woman's heart is the desire to be beautiful...to someone. And it's not something that is satisfied once. It's a desire that continues to well up in a woman's heart as time goes on. It is an insatiable hole. One that can only be fully satisfied in Christ Himself. Yet, it is also a desire that does get fulfilled on many levels in a marriage relationship. God designed it that way.

However, as the years press on, a woman's whole body and look changes. The bearing of many children bring changes. The fatigue of the little years bring changes. Aging and wear on the body itself bring many changes. And as time goes on, the mantra being played over and over again, like a beating drum, is that beauty is only for the young. You have your one time of glory, when you're young and beautiful, and after that, be happy with your sagging body and tired eyes. Because that is your destiny.

But this is what I have been thinking about. I think we have it wrong. I think that some of the most beautiful women I know are not young. They are in the process of raising children or already have done so. The wear and tear on their body is evident as it is for everyone. But the beauty they have from years of selflessness and sanctification, give them a glow that no youth ever could.

They are stunning and they are not young. They are moms. Wives. Grandmas. Friends. And they are breathtaking.

They truly are beautiful.

While the world chases after wrinkle creams and botox treatments, these truly beautiful women have put in years of work with their families, neighbors and co-workers, laboring for others. Others. And instead of it taking away from their beauty, it has only added to it.

One of our favorite movies is Family Man. There is a scene, where Jack (Nicholas Cage) is in the middle of a glimpse into what life would've been like if he would have chosen love over his career and married his college sweetheart. In the glimpse, he is married to her. While out for their anniversary, he suddenly stares at his wife and says, "Wow. You are beautiful. In college you were pretty, but over the years, you have really grown into a beautiful woman." (para-phrased...not exact quote)

That's what I'm talking about. I'm not really sure how it works. I know it is counter-cultural and counter-intuitive even. But I see this idea all around me. I'm surrounded by beauty from the most unlikely candidates. Yet maybe our culture is just so distorted by what is beautiful anyway. We've lived for so long with fake, computer brushed images, that we have forgotten what real beauty is.

For whatever reason, I'm learning to see that beauty isn't simply for the young. Physical beauty may seem to be more perfect in youth. But time, faith and sacrifice intertwine in a woman's life to produce a beauty that lasts...indefinitely.

Doey

Joshua has a best friend. His name is Doe. We're not really sure why. It just is his name. He has loved this stuffed elephant since he was a wee one. So much so that he recognizes any other stuffed animals that try and pretend to be his Doe. After recognizing how much Josh was attached to this silly little elephant, my mom went out and bought a replacement as a back-up. It was the exact same stuffed animal except not quite as loved on. He knew. He just knew it. The first time we gave it to him (he was just a year old people) he launched it out of his bed while yelling, "NO! My Doe!"

Wow.

I'll never forget that. If I ever need a good chuckle, I just remember Joshy chucking that stuffed animal out of his bed with all the gusto he could muster. The kid has a mind of his own and is quite capable in expressing it.

Over the years he started calling the replacement Doe, the "Other Doe". That Doe is not ever welcome in his bed (which is where Doe resides now). Ever. It's an imposter to him.

So he loves his Doe.

We're not sure where the name came from. All we can guess is that it was what came out of his mouth, in reference to his best friend, after he turned one, when he was learning to talk. We didn't name it for him. He did that all on his own. But it stuck. And over time, it even picked up a loving nick-name...Doey. So for the last year or so, that's what he calls it. Doey.

When it came time for Joshua to decide what cake he wanted for his birthday, he didn't skip a beat. He wanted a Doey Cake. Oh brother. How was I going to pull that off? I started looking for elephant cake pans and was just ready to order one, when an adorable little cake pan mysteriously showed up on my front porch.

After some investigating, I discovered that my brother's girlfriend had ordered it for him. I was so surprised and excited. But would it pass the test or just be another imposter? I knew I was in the clear when Joshua exclaimed, "Doey" upon first glance of the new cake pan.

Phew. That was close.

Now all I had to do was make it and frost it and get it to the party on time.

Of course, I wish I could've changed things a bit to make the ears more pronounced, etc...but I think it still turned out okay. It was a lot of fun (and stress while frosting it too but none of that matters now).

He loved it. And before I cut it, I made sure to have him say "good-bye" to it so that he wouldn't be sad when it was all gobbled up. Surprisingly, he was okay with it.

Probably because, in his heart of hearts, he knew...I've got my real Doey at home.

I'm not sure when he'll leave that Doey behind for good. But I've got a feeling, it could be quite some time. As for me, I think I'll miss him when he's finally laid to rest. He's played quite a role in our family over these last three years.

Believe me, that little elephant is infamous.

Just like his owner.

Because It's So Good

I read this article last week and wanted to link to it then, but just never got around to it. I was reminded of it yet again today. The longer I am a parent (which still hasn't been very long) the more I want to end up "middle of the road". Not because I want to be wishy washy but because I want both grace and law to make up the foundation. If I'm all law, there is not love. If I'm all grace, there is not love either. Which is exactly what Rachael talks about. It's not easy to keep things balanced, but it's certainly worth shooting for.

Check it out. It's definitely worth a read.