Faith, Family, and Food

The Monday Report

2012-01-30T13:54:00.000-08:00

It was a busy weekend. Steve worked on his math and built a shed for my parents. I helped throw a shower for my friend and watched the kids by myself for the rest of the time. It's no wonder that last night, around 8:30 pm I felt I could not move! Lucky for me, I didn't have to.

We've really been into watching Downton Abbey lately. We watched the first season quite awhile ago and have just started the second. Since Steve is gone a lot at night, I watch it without him and then when he's around, I watch it again so he can catch up. I call that a win, win. I love Downton Abbey, and those types of British dramas, so much that it doesn't matter to me how many times I watch them.

I made a major blunder today in my bread making. Anyone who knows me well has to laugh at me right now because I bake bread all the time and know better. I also like to document these things so that I can show you all that I'm not perfect and laugh at myself. Anyhow though, I am a very regular bread maker. I am definitely not a novice but I wouldn't call myself a professional. I am somewhere in that vast area in between. This is a bread recipe I make every Monday (and have forever) as it supplies our bread for the week. Utter fail. I forgot to add the yeast. And then, when I noticed it, I tried to knead it in which never works very well. That did work okay but the bread dough had already cooled down so the yeast was slow to rise. My second attempt to fix it was putting it in a 200 degree oven (which I then turned off) to try and help it along. It did. But then one of the times that I turned the oven on (I had been doing so at intervals to keep it warm in there), I left it on by accident and the bread had its final say...a puddle of nothingness disaster. Ha ha ha! Try again tomorrow.

Normally in the afternoons little Caleby and I get some time to ourselves to read. He reads to me and then I read to him. Then off he goes to his rest time. But today, he discovered his KNEX lego set and I haven't seen him since. I know I've said this before but he is our little builder. I love to watch him work and create. I caught him on camera at the beginning so I'll just have to wait and see what he comes up with.

Now, I've just got piles of laundry to fold and dinner to make. Good thing I'll get to redeem myself tonight with dinner rolls. I've got to do something after messing up the sandwich bread so badly:)!!

Well, that's the Monday Report friends. Have a great week!

Playing Catch Up

2012-01-26T19:37:00.001-08:00

This last week has been quite busy for me here...hence my lack of blogging. I've tried to get on the computer numerous times but it just hasn't happened!! Steve started back up at Texas A & M last week and this semester we took the plunge and signed him on to two classes. So far things have gone well. The only downside is that he's studying nearly every night. This is not something our family can maintain for any extended length of time. But for a semester or two, we can put our heads down and do it. I keep keeping the end goal in mind. If we can do this for two semesters (this one and summer), then he will only have two classes left. "I think I can, I think I can...."

One of the things that has changed, with him gone, is the general flow of the evening since he's no longer here to help me field/manage the masses. I've simply had to maneuver things and in some instances lower the standard to still have all of us (myself definitely included) end the evening loving the standard and cheerful. This is hard for me to do but after a few nights of me being snippy, I knew something had to change. Before I would put the kids to bed by myself a couple of nights a week when Steve would study. But now that it's most nights, I find that it's a different kind of tiring. Letting go of "my standards" is a pretty difficult thing for me. Luckily, my husband loves me, listened to my concerns and was able to offer some pretty helpful suggestions that have worked well. And this whole deal is what I signed up for...I knew it would be like this if we decided to do two classes. So no tears for me. I'm just trying to learn how to navigate it well.

Another thing that has caused quite a stir over the last week is some major car trouble we've been having. I still maintain that our Pilot is the best (I'm a loyal fan) and has never broken down on us of its own accord. We keep it well maintained. But twice now, in the past six months a rodent of some kind has caused MAJOR wiring damage to our engine. You might remember me writing about it the first time. This time the price tag was over double what it cost last time and I was in tears. It's one thing for a car to need fixing when a part goes bad but when a mouse/rat wrecks perfectly good wiring just because it's hungry, that can be tiresome. We live in the country and do not have a garage. What are we to do?

However, God NEVER fails to care for us. The car dealership hooked us up with a sweet rental for the last week that they've paid for (for some reason), they suggested I call our car insurance to help cover the damage (turns out it was covered) and our bill went from $1300 down to our $500 deductible without any residual damage to our monthly premiums. Ummm...what? So even though it's been a flurry of phone calls, it has still ended as well as it can and I'm forever in awe of how God cares for all of our needs. Now we just need to figure out how to keep those pesky creatures out of our engine. Any ideas would be MUCH appreciated.

I'm also helping prepare for a dear friend's baby shower this Saturday which I am SO excited about, fielding the normal banter of children (which I do adore), directing school work for all three boys-day work for two and math practice at night for Isaac, madly trying to keep up with my chores, playing dolls with my best girl and at times dealing with a puking Joshua. That poor kid. He got the stomach flu really badly three weeks ago-as in, the worst I've ever seen and I've seen much puke. Then he got another full round of it ten days later. Then this morning, exactly ten days after the last episode, he threw up again. He was okay for the rest of the day this time, but it has just taken his body so long to recover from that bug. I finally emailed the doc to make sure I wasn't missing something. He wrote back that his little belly probably just took a big hit and was still recovering. He prescribed the BRAT diet and probiotics for a few weeks. He doesn't think he's still actually sick just recovering. Wow. The things you learn as a parent. I never knew something like that could even happen.

Earlier in the week, one of my best friends from Cal Poly came to visit with her two boys. I treasure the time I get with my best buddies from Cal Poly and this day was no exception. She drove two hours here and two hours home just to see me. Seeing her beautiful face, hearing her laugh, and watching her with her kids just lifted my spirits so much. I love all my girls from Poly...you know who you are...such an incredibly meaningful and amazing time in my life. I'm so glad I joined LSM (AGO)-it literally changed my life. And thanks for coming Jilly. Seeing you encouraged me so much!

As you can all imagine, our house was definitely in mourning after last Sunday night's NFC Championship game at Candlestick Park. I had to console the boys, all clad in their 49er jerseys after Kyle Williams fumbled the punt in overtime putting the Giants well within field goal range (which they did kick) and on their way to the Superbowl. Their Dad was at that game. And when he came home hours later, I had to console him too. Those were some sad times but, there's always next season. And as a whole, the 49ers far surpassed expectations. We're still faithfuls. Go Niners!!

So there you go. It's a whole bunch of nothing but, still enough to keep me on my toes at all times. May God be praised for it is Him who keeps me, and really all of us, going.

I'm going to go pass out now :). Ha ha!! Nigh-night!

In Defense of Religion-Part 2

2012-01-19T19:35:00.000-08:00

First of all, I started writing about this BEFORE the Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus video hit the Facebook "fan" so to speak, so this is not written in response. Just wanted to clarify-it's just a funny coincidence. That video has caused quite a stir and since I've not sat down to personally watch it myself (I've only read through the lyrics), I can't really comment too much on it. I think the young man's intentions were good but, I think he may have made some sweeping generalizations about "religion" that missed the point. God doesn't hate religion. He hates false religion-hearts that are fake. But anyhow, I said I wasn't going to comment too much. Secondly, it's nice to be back online. We had a bout of malware on our computer over the last week that took forever to get cleared up. However, after scanning our computer for two hours today, we are in the clear. I'm super thankful for accessible, downloadable software that can easily fix the problem. Yeah!!

And now back to our story...

One of the major things that came out of us learning about Reformed theology was a linking of our faith to the past. I love that non-denominational churches preach the Gospel and really emphasize God's love-this teaching led me to Christ as a child; but in general (yes, I'm speaking generally here), they don't focus much on church history. To me, it was like our faith existed in a vacuum. But that's just not true! The church has been around for centuries. And for good and bad, we began to feel convicted that there were really important things to learn about that history because it's part of where we come from.

So we began reading more about church reformers, early church fathers, later Puritans who were influential in America (like Jonathan Edwards) and various church practices/liturgies passed through the centuries. There is so much out there that we could never process through it all. But we did start to notice that there were many things present in historical Christian worship that we didn't know a thing about. One of these things was the basic creed. Creeds? I didn't even know what a creed was really. I had only heard of the Apostle's Creed because I had gone to Greek School as a little girl (and the Orthodox Church says this creed during their service) and the Nicean Creed, *crickets*. My best guess was that it was somehow connected to the Council of Nicea (which I had only vaguely heard about-it was a lucky guess though).

Intrigued, we started exploring why these things might be important to know about. And this is what we found. Various creeds written after different councils, like the Council of Nicea, iron out the concrete basics of our faith and they were written to defend and define the faith not distract from it. They were written that way for a reason. The early church repeated them in worship to remind themselves regularly of the basics of the Gospel. Creeds were meant to ground us in the basics-to bring us back to square one on a regular basis. For we are wayward creatures and need to be reminded-often. This began to make sense.

One thing that was particularly interesting to discover was that the earliest creeds are in the New Testament themselves. A few are Philippians 2:6-11, 1 Tim. 3:16 and 1 Corinthians 15:3-7. Here is one of the shorter ones-you can see how it succinctly reminds us of the basics of our faith:

"Great indeed, we confess, is the mystery of godliness: 'He was manifested in the flesh, vindicated by the Spirit, seen by angels, proclaimed among the nations, believed on in the world, taken up in glory.' " 1 Tim. 3:16

One of the ways we instruct our children is in the 3 D's for the Dauphins (we stole these from Doug Wilson's parenting books). "Don't disobey. Don't deceive. Don't disrespect." There's just three rules. We want it to be easy for them to remember and not be so burdensome. Those D's are their roadmap. In the same way, just as we instructs our children with easily digested instructions, these creeds point us in the way we should go...grounding us in the basics. And repeated regularly in worship, they bring us back to the heart of the Gospel again and again.

Now here's the caveat. Repeating the creeds don't save anyone or make anyone more holy. They are a means to an end. Our hearts are the issue. We want our hearts to be sincere. However, strangely enough, often I find that even when I'm most distracted by the children surrounding me in the pew or the worries of life, etc...that when I do still "go through the motions" and repeat the creeds in service or sing "The Lord's Prayer", the act of doing so still blesses me and brings me back to square one. They are an aid. They are instructive. And I believe they were meant to "help" our hearts focus on our reason for being at church-worship. I don't believe they are necessary to worship God, as in you must do it this way or you're wrong...they're simply helpful.

All of this is just my experience. And I truly respect those Christians who choose to keep these sorts of traditions out of their worship. I have just found them to be deeply meaningful and helpful to my faith in ways I never thought possible and thought I'd share.

More next time.

Invoking My "Mediterranean-ness"

2012-01-13T15:00:00.000-08:00

How can I not be thankful that he "cleaned" my mirrors for me with hand soap after using the bathroom this afternoon?

Those grubby, darling, little hands even scrubbed into the corners.

So diligently, so carefully.

Never mind I just cleaned the bathroom this morning.

I'm a Greek. There's nothing a little Windex can't fix.

My Littles

2012-01-12T10:24:00.000-08:00

When the big kids go to school, there's much more time for this....

A couple of mornings a week, Isaac and Caleb are both in school. Next year, it will be every morning. Something I have really come to cherish is the special time I get with my littles. Sometimes we play silly games or I let them do more messy things. (I also tend to get a lot of work done too!!)

The older two boys got much more of this when they were small because I had less children so, naturally, it was simpler.

Now, it's the littles turn. Playdough and paint seem much more doable when there's just two of them. It makes it easier for me to say, "Yes!!"

When there are a lot of children running around there are many benefits. There's always something to do, someone to play with, learning to share is natural, and working as a part of a team is reinforced without really trying (plus many other benefits). And personally, I think it's easier for parents to avoid the trap of partiality because there's just a lot of kids to love (not that parents of less can't avoid it, I just think it's probably harder to).

However, there can be drawbacks too. Sometimes the littler ones don't get to do as many things as the older ones did when they were little. Some of that is okay and can be let go. And then some of that has to be remedied somehow. As in, I feel strongly that I need to do something about it.

For now, this is my answer. The morning times are for them to learn, count, get their hands dirty, read with me and play. It's their turn to have these fun times with me. I can't act like I've been there and done that or like I'm too busy.

They're only little once.

In Defense of Religion-Part 1

2012-01-09T13:37:00.000-08:00

First off, I want to say that I am no theologian. That is not my aim here. This is only my experience, my story. But lately, I've been thinking about my faith journey that started as a child and how God has led me to this point in my life. I'm sure we have many more mountains to climb together but for all it's worth, this is where I've come from.

I grew up non-denominational. I do not regret my upbringing whatsoever. In fact, I have many fond memories of Sunday School, church musicals, Awana, Vacation Bible School, becoming a Christian when I was 5 and being baptized at 7. Even though the church I grew up in was non-denominational, it was pretty much Baptist without the title. I didn't know that until I was older. It was a Bible believing church that sang praise music and even hymns at times. It was contemporary and conservative all at the same time. It was home for me and it is where I learned what it meant to be a Christian.

My Junior High years were spent at another church just like it and those years were a bit more difficult for me. I waned, wandered and questioned who I was quite a bit. But one thing I always knew was that I loved God. I didn't always do the right thing (in fact I often made poor choices), but I knew I was wrong and I knew I needed to repent. By the time I got into my high school years, I returned to the church of my youth and my faith was strengthened greatly.

When I went off to Cal Poly, I knew what I wanted (besides getting a degree). I wanted to marry a Christian. Not just any nominal Christian. I wanted to marry a man who loved the Lord more than he loved me. I wanted him to be passionate about his faith and solid in his beliefs. When I met Steve, he blew the lid off of my expectations. He was even more than I had hoped for...he was the real deal and I couldn't believe he wanted me!!

His background was quite similar to mine. Yet, as the months went on in our relationship, he began learning things about Reformed theology that were difficult for me to understand at first. That's when our first conversations in this area began. And let me tell you, they weren't pretty. For some of the first times in my life, I was challenged to look at how we are saved. Are we saved because we made a decision to be saved or saved because God chose us? Who is the one acting...us or God? If we are dead in our sins, how can a dead person make themselves alive again? Only God can raise the dead. How can we choose God when the Bible clearly states that even our most righteous actions are like filthy rags in comparison to God's glory? These were conversations that we would have, both of us grappling with the implications the answers would have on our faith and our future. Often these conversations took place, in the car, at the end of a date night. They were hard for me to process but still, something kept my heart open to the ideas. And as time went on, I learned to trust Steve's leading as well.

John Calvin himself

Steve went a lot more willingly than I did to the reformed side for he is way less emotional and much more logical. He looked at the evidence and thought it was overwhelmingly in favor of God's sovereignty over man's choice (some of the very basics of Calvinism-Reformed Theology...Luther was a major Reformer as well and there were many others). I just didn't want to believe that maybe it was that way because if that were the case, it would change all that I had grown-up believing in. Not that it would totally undermine it but, it would just spin things in a completely different direction.

And a different direction it did...one that I could not foresee at all but would bless my life beyond measure.

Until next time.

PS: I am not attempting to start a huge argument about theology here. Sometimes these issues can cause people to get a bit huffy (I know, for I've been there). This is simply my story and I hope it blesses you for that is my intent.

And the winner is...

2012-01-04T11:07:00.000-08:00

Elliana!!

We've been pretty fortunate over the years to avoid the ER. You would think, with the three monkeys (boys) we have, that it would be our home away from home. But alas, we had never made an ER trip with one of our kids until last night.

It all started when I sent the boys to go brush their teeth. Seems harmless, no? A few minutes later Elliana came out of her bedroom with a tube of toothpaste in her mouth. In a few moments she had quickly figured out how to squeeze and suck that sparkly, bubble gum flavored goo down into her gullet and by the time I snatched it away from her, I had no idea how much she had gotten. I knew it was a fairly new tube of toothpaste (although not full) and that there was at least half left in there still. But that was all I could figure out.

Yet in "Mom of many fashion", I deduced that if it were really a problem, she'd probably start throwing up. I was not let down in my assumptions. Within twenty minutes, as soon as we had tucked her in, she was heaving. The boys were yelling and she, being a novice at such things, was quite confused as to what was going on with her body. I quickly filled Steve in on the story, as he held her over the sink, since he had not been in the room when it happened. Plus, I kinda had already forgotten about it and hadn't mentioned it (Mom of the Year Award, I know).

We cleaned her up, changed everything and put her back down to bed. Within minutes the same scenario played out all over again. This time the watchmen were ready. It could be heard up and down the bunk bed. Sound the alarm! Sister is sick! When we were cleaning up round two, they were all analyzing it like announcers at a football game. "Did you see that play?" Quite a spectacle.

We got wiser at that point and pulled her out indefinitely so the boys could settle down to bed for it was way past bedtime at this point. When she was still sick an hour later, I decided to cancel my early morning run with my friend. This proved to be strategic. She is a Nurse Practitioner and she suggested I call Poison Control. Of course!! Why hadn't I thought of that?

Poison Control was on it. If you're ever worried about a poisoning, call them! They are amazing. After going through all the information, weighing what was left in the tube and checking her weight (all whilst she is still sick), we decided to wait it out for an hour. She fell asleep in Steve's arms while we watched a White Collar (great show by the way...except the 3rd season has been a bit racier than the first two). However, when we put her down once more, she was sick again.

Steve threw his jeans on, I called Poison Control back and within minutes, on their advice, Steve headed to the ER with her. Did I mention it was 10 pm? Aren't men amazing? My husband was truly a champ for she was sick on the way there and while he was checking her in. Poor husband...yet, still so composed. Unbelievable.

They observed her for awhile, gave her some medicine and then cleared her to come home around 1 am. They were certain she had been poisoned by tooth paste.

Who would've thought?

So now, 1st prize has been given to the little girl. Of all the peeps, I would have guessed it would be Joshua. She's just a sleeper I guess...so innocent looking yet devious. Ha!

We're thankful she's all right-God was merciful and hopeful that this early-in-the-year ER trip is not a premonition of things to come. Once every six and a half years is plenty for us!!

You never quite know what might happen around here...it's never boring, that I promise!

Some Highlights

2012-01-03T14:14:00.000-08:00

And...I'm back!

We've had a wonderful two weeks off but today, the hubby was back to work and the kids and I were back to our normal routine. Both Isaac and Caleb start school next week so, we're enjoying these last couple of days off doing stuff around the house and running errands.

Have I ever mentioned I love running errands with my kids? I do. All four of them-yes! Today was no exception even though we stopped at a zillion places. But I'm digressing.

We truly did have a wonderful vacation. In years past there were times when it was difficult for Steve and I to find our balance with him home during the day. But this time, for some reason, we just had a really good time. I think I relaxed and he really made an effort to be involved. Plus, after he finished up with A & M, the break was just so needed that we all soaked it up.

There were so many fun things we did on break that I just can't name them all but here's a little bit of the highlights.

Hiked in the local "forest" without direct parental supervision (the Dads pretty much stayed back and let them explore on their own).

Learned new games.

Visited with family (didn't get pictures of everyone...super bummed about that!).

Opened many presents.

Played with our new presents.

Got the opportunity to spend a night out with some of our best friends from Cal Poly. Although we love getting the kids together, a night of adult conversation was beyond precious to us!!

And just made merry.

All in all, it was an amazing time of rest...a calm before the storm of next semester, which starts in two weeks.

We didn't go anywhere special (besides seeing family for Christmas) or spend a ton of money, but we had a great time. We ate out a bit, watched movies, played games and feasted on Christmas cookies.

Not a bad way to spend two weeks!

Happy to be back friends. More to come later this week.

Not in Kansas Anymore

2011-12-27T20:41:00.000-08:00

Every once in awhile I'll find myself face to face with a situation that jolts me back into reality. And it is during this reality check that I realize, I live in a bubble.

Tonight, such a circumstance took place.

We went to the local pizza place with some dear friends. It was two-for-one pizza night and it sounded like a deal. We didn't have to make dinner, it didn't cost all that much (relatively speaking) and we didn't have to clean up! The pizza itself isn't to die-for but, like I said, we didn't have to clean up afterward. I love vacation!

Now hear me, this place is definitely a joint. Our feet were sticking to the floor by the soda machine and a couple of the arcade games didn't work. But who cares? The kids loved it and ran around pretending to play the games until dinnertime.

We had a lovely dinner-laughing, stuffing our faces and laughing some more. It was just nice to be with friends. Once the kids were all through, we finally handed out the real cash and let them play some games. They were in heaven running around.

Meanwhile, little Elle was bopping around too, trying to get in on the action and poking her little head into the arcade to be with the big kids. One of the games she really liked was the car game and she spent a good deal of time up in the driver's seat pretending to drive. And then another little boy, who wasn't with our group, got himself in that driver's seat and so Elle just stood on the side right next to him while he pretended to drive.

But pretty soon, he realized that he didn't like her there. So in spoiled little boy fashion, he pushed her off the seat right onto her head on the floor. This little boy was much bigger than her and she wasn't doing anything but just watching. I immediately ran over since I saw what happened and scooped her up off the floor. She was crying-hard, for it was quite a fall and quite a big push. The little boy didn't even flinch as I picked her up off the ground.

I glanced around and I didn't see any parents watching so I simply told him, "You can't treat her like that. She's so much littler than you. Please don't push." Again, no response. So I leave him there and take her somewhere else where she is safe.

A few minutes later a very pushy, aggravated woman comes and gets in my face telling me that I should come talk to her if I have a problem with her son because he's just a little boy.

Ummmmmm....what?! Who are you? And where were you five minutes ago when your little boy flattened my petite little baby for standing next to him and watching him? And how was I supposed to know you were his mom? This is a crowded pizza parlor with lots of people in it. Shouldn't you be apologizing rather than chastising me for talking to your son about pushing? This is all racing through my mind as I try and come up with a calm response to the nonsense being spoken to me.

Wow!

We decided to leave since at that point the whole party of people with the lady were all starting to glare at us and give us their meanest stares. Steve went up and talked to them for a few minutes explaining that I didn't see any parents so I merely asked him not to push our daughter. The lady was insistent that he was just a child and we had no right to be scolding him.

Obviously they're not doing much of that at home. For he didn't seem to bat an eyelash when he wanted her out of the way.

The whole situation was totally unbelievable to me...

I know not all parents parent the same. I respect that. And I know that these situations happen. But people, these women (for by the end of the matter a few of them had gotten involved) looked like they were ready to throw down over it simply because I had politely asked a little boy not to hurt my daughter.

Can we say backwards?

On the ride home, Steve and I laughed as we tried to understand what had just transpired. How was it that we were the bad guys in that situation?

But then my friend's parting words came to mind when she very calmly said, "Just let it go Nikki. These strange things happen...that's why we can be so thankful for our neighbors and friends who love their kids enough to call them on their mistakes rather than pretending their kids don't know better."

And it dawned on me, I live in a bubble where parents want to take responsibility for their kids' actions and want their children to be held accountable too. This isn't necessarily true of all parents. Some want to shelter them from accountability as much as possible and I can't do a thing about it.

She's right. And I must say, I love that little bubble of niceness, justice and care that I'm surrounded with.

Sometimes, out in this great big world, I find I'm not in Kansas anymore and I have to learn to deal with these odd-ball situations in the right way without being as absurd as my foes. I definitely didn't earn an A tonight. In fact, I probably pulled a C if I'm lucky, being as though I was pretty frustrated over the whole thing and straight up appalled. Hopefully next time, I'll be able to respond less defensively.

I guess it's good to be in these situations here and there to remind me how good I have it on a regular basis.

However, I must admit, even though it's flat and predictable, give me Kansas any day. I love Kansas.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T08:55:00.000-08:00

O come, O come Emmanuel
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appears

O come thou Dayspring
Come and cheer
Thy spirit by thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death's dark shadows put to flight....

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel!
Has come to thee, O Israel!
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel!
Has come to thee, O Israel!!

Praying you know the hope that Christ's birth brought the world!! Emmanuel has come.

Enjoy this blessed day with your families...

Merry Christmas from the Dauphins!

When Learning to Read Isn't Beneficial

2011-12-20T14:02:00.000-08:00

I was debating whether or not to write this cute little story because I was a tad bit afraid of offending. But, after some reflection (and a relating of the story to friends), I've decided to give it a whirl...because it's my life, heck it's probably your life too and truth be told, it was totally innocent and simply hilarious.

Our oldest son has been participating in a youth basketball league and his games are at a local high school on Saturdays. This particular Saturday Steve was working on his final so I piled all the kids in the car and we headed out. My parents decided to attend the game that day and as I pulled up, my Dad was already on the street corner looking for a breakfast burrito from the taco stand. After waving at him, I went down the street to find a parking place.

Now just to give you all a little background, this high school is smack dab in the middle of downtown, which to put it nicely is, ghetto. Some people might call it ghetto fabulous but I just call it ghetto. As I was pulling all the kids out of the car, I heard Caleb excitedly squeal, "Mommy, Mommy, I know what that says!"

I'm busy unbuckling Elle and making sure Joshy is touching the car and not running into the street so I don't quite get what he's saying. I'm doing the whole smiling and nodding while saying something like, "Good, good, yes!" And then my ears start to tune into what he was actually saying and I become very alarmed as I move closer.

"Mommy, mommy, that says __________(insert offensive expletive)! Look I read it! I can read that!" And on and on he went repeating the word over and over while my jaw is nearly hitting the cement. As I look up, I see a very naughty word written in bright pink letters, ever so clearly on the gym wall. As a beginning reader, he can sound out anything written phonetically quite beautifully and that particular word is simply easy to sound out. It "follows all the rules."

Meanwhile, a very helpful mom who is taking her son to the basketball game too, bursts into laughter and is practically peeing her pants watching this whole exchange. I have to think quickly. Caleb doesn't notice her laughter yet, as he is simply feeling quite smug at the new word he has read on the wall. But I know it won't be long.

I flash the lady a look practically pleading with my eyes for her to zip it! And then I dig deep into the recesses of my soul to pull out all of the acting that I know from years of leading roles in various plays and I paint on the most calm, serene face that I can find. I then respond, "Yes, Caleb you did read that word very well. Good job! Now let's go to Isaac's game. We don't want to be late."

And with that, he skipped off ahead of me, completely unaware of the hilarity and vulgarity that had just been exchanged. And I was able to breathe again. Meanwhile, the innocent bystander was still laughing.

I figured that if I didn't make it a big deal he'd forget all about it and it would just be another word he was able to read. But if I talked to him and pressed him about what a horrible word it was, I knew it would stick in his mind.

And I was right. He hasn't mentioned it since.

I have no theological allegories to draw or anything good to pull out as a lesson from this story. Truly, there's nothing really to say. Except that it was totally innocent, absolutely hilarious and an utterly classic mom moment. Who ever thought learning to read could be so treacherous?

And if anyone has any doubt or thinks that my life is drudgery being a mom of many children, just remember this story. In my little life here, I just never quite know what is coming next!

Dr. Pepper

2011-12-17T14:01:00.000-08:00

Welp, it's been quite a busy week. We've had two Christmas parties to prepare for, a grad school final to turn in, a major cookie/brownie sale and a little boy still recovering from surgery. Whew! I'm tired just thinking about it. But, it's over. The husband still needs to wrap up his grades but today, we've taken some time off and it's been glorious.

I feel like I've been in the middle of about 10 huge projects lately. A few wrapped up this week and I was really thankful to have seen them through. One of them in particular turned out better than I could've ever hoped for. Here's the story.

About six weeks ago, after buying some Dr. Pepper from the store, I noticed that they were giving away scholarship money. Not only is my husband the BIGGEST Dr. Pepper fan but, he is also a student and we could always use some tuition money. It turned out that we had to turn in a video detailing why they should give us a scholarship. I thought we had a compelling story but I wasn't super stoked on that because I'm not great with video...I'm MUCH better with words. But scholarship money is worth fighting for, so I determined to figure it out.

We have an incredible camera so, we started there and began putting together different snippets of video. I started editing it all and putting it together. However I ran into TONS of roadblocks. Either my final video wouldn't play or the end product just wasn't what I was trying to portray. When I finally decided to just give up and submit what we had, the video wouldn't submit on the Dr. Pepper website. I even tried getting the IT guy here to help and he determined it was something with their website as I wasn't doing anything wrong.

I was at a turning point. It would've been easy to quit, but I didn't want to. I was determined to see it through.

During that time though, I definitely came to understand two things: I didn't have the software to pull-off a great video and I also didn't have the knowledge. I needed help.

On the suggestion from a friend (thanks Debbi!), I contacted our graphic design teacher here (who is also a friend) and asked for his help. He jumped right in.

I can't tell you how grateful I am that he did.

For he did FAR better than I ever could've done.

We won't know for awhile if Steve got a scholarship, but I'm just so glad that I fought through all of that because the product I ended up getting was way better than my original. It was worth the wait.

And even better than that, is that I was actually able to submit the video today. I tried at least 30 times before. So they must've fixed some things on their end too.

It was a fun project and I'm really thankful for a generous graphic designer/video editor (Thanks Grant!).

And we'll just see what God does with it.

Hope you all enjoy it!!

(The YouTube version is a bit more choppy-that's just YouTube- than the mov file that I turned in but the mov file wouldn't play the song in the background for some reason on the blog so....enjoy it a bit choppy.)

Elle

2011-12-12T20:15:00.001-08:00

It's funny the things kids pick up through imitation. She's only 18 months old people! And I don't even apply make-up everyday so she must be paying close attention.

She figured this out all on her own. And she got into my stuff when I wasn't watching (which with four kids, can happen more often than I'd like to admit).

At least she knows where it's supposed to go. Although her application just looks downright painful!!

Good thing we have many years until she needs to learn to do it herself.

Wait for it......Yes! Perfect! Right in the eyeball!

Have I mentioned that I LOVE having a daughter?

Checking in...

2011-12-09T13:25:00.000-08:00

Well, we're on day four now of recovery and things have been a bit rough. Joshua had a high fever for a few days that caused some concern he may have an infection. Last night, however, that fever broke and today has been fine. That's a great step in the right direction. Steve has also been working on his final exam for Texas A & M so, between school, grad school and the surgery, he's pretty weary. But we both know, we're nearing the finish line here.

One thing I did not expect was for Joshua to be so emotional. He's a pretty happy kid nearly all the time-very jovial. So for him to be crying and angry at EVERYTHING is a definite change in personality. I know it will get better as he feels better but, sometimes it can be difficult to have patience!

So those are the difficult things. But here are the great things.

We're almost half-way through the 10 day recovery period. It's always nice to feel like you're going downhill rather than uphill. Joshua ate some real food today which will probably help his overall attitude and demeanor. The high fever broke so I don't have to worry about it anymore. We've had wonderful friends help and pray for us. And today is Friday! Even though Steve will most likely be off studying most of the weekend, it's still the weekend. And I'm looking forward to it!!

As for me, I'm getting through with a little baking therapy. When I feel most stressed there are two things I turn to (besides the obvious) baking and running. (I guess ice cream falls somewhere in there too.) I can't have one without the other. It's just how I roll.

Comfort food-Baked Potato Soup and crescent rolls...here I come.

Thankful

2011-12-06T19:27:00.000-08:00

Joshua got his tonsils and adenoids successfully removed today. There are so many things we are very grateful for.

1. We're thankful all went well with the surgery itself. There weren't any major complications and he was able to go home pretty quickly post surgery.
2. We're thankful we have such excellent insurance that allows us to do these procedures without any out-of-pocket expense to us.
3. We're thankful for both of our parents, Dean and Debbie Georgatos and Bill and Sally Dauphin, who so lovingly cared for the other three children in our absence. Their devotion, generosity and grace means so much to us! It's so wonderful to leave your kids and know that they are being looked after by the best!!
4. We're thankful for good friends. One friend brought us dinner tonight that hit the spot. Another brought Joshy some popsicles that were just perfect for him. And another of our buddies went through the exact same thing as us today (their daughter went in for a tonsilectomy/adenoidectomy as well...total coincidence). Their prayers and strength helped carry us through!!
5. We're thankful for kind bosses and good substitutes that allowed Steve to take the day off. Being a teacher, it's very difficult for him to leave for a day!
6. We're thankful that Joshua has been responding to his recovery so well and taking liquids at will. The way it looks right now, any sort of dehydration will not be a problem.
7. We're thankful that the original breathing issues present post surgery cleared up quite nicely and didn't pose any sort of long-term problems.
8. We're thankful those pesky, HUGE tonsils are gone!
9. We're thankful for the prayers of the church. The faithfulness of the saints and the kindness of God's mercy.
10. We're thankful our whole family is back together again and that Joshy gets to heal with all of his siblings surrounding him.

And on a more personal note, I'm thankful for a strong, tough husband who was able to step in and take over when I felt a bit overwhelmed and queasy watching my baby in so much pain. Steve, you're my hero.

The nurses and staff were so wonderful. And in typical Joshy style, he had them all in stitches pre-surgery. They loved him. That's just who he is. He's a little charmer.

Just for fun, here's a little video we took of him "performing" before he went in. Note, this was before they gave him the medicine that made him loopy. His talent for beat boxing is not something we taught him. He figured it out all on his own.

We're so proud of our brave little boy and we're so thankful...only God could've made all of this possible.

My Littlest Boy

2011-12-05T21:24:00.000-08:00

Our darling little Joshy is going in for surgery in the morning to get his tonsils and adenoids removed. If you think of it, pray that the surgeon's hands will be steady, the anesthesiologist will be precise and that all of the details going into the operation will go off without a hitch.

We love Joshua so much and know that He is in the Lord's hands.

Thanks for your prayers.

The Importance of Open Hands

2011-12-02T14:02:00.000-08:00

A few years back when Isaac started preschool, I remember being nervous about him being out of the home a few days a week. Of course, I knew I'd miss him and all of that, but truth be told, I was a bit unsure about putting him in situations where I wasn't there to help guide him. It was the first time he'd be in regular contact with another adult that wasn't his parents and I really wanted him to obey and be a blessing to his class.

Part of my uneasiness made sense. It was a new situation and every parent wants to see their child do well when they're not around. However, the other part of my uneasiness was not good. I knew deep down that any disobedience on his part could reflect badly on me. Hmmm....not the greatest of motives but, at the time, it was true. Now that I'm much more used to the school situation, this doesn't concern me as much.

But regardless, our kids and their behavior can reflect badly on us. There is a reason that Proverbs states, "A foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him." Prov. 17:25 There is a correlation. Having our children at that point when they're older is definitely something we want to avoid at all costs. We want our kids to grow up wise and to love the Lord. These are our goals and we work tirelessly toward them. Ultimately we want them to learn to think and in doing so navigate the world successfully.

The hard part is this-often they won't.

And when (not if) they don't, it will be difficult. But the hardest part of it all, is keeping our hands open when they don't do what's right.

A few years back, a wise woman in our church who has raised six lovely children, gave some excellent advice to us young moms. She said, "Your kids are going to have problems with other kids. They're going to get in trouble at school. They're going to lie to their friend's mom. These things are going to happen as they grow up and are learning to do what's right. But your reaction is key. Be humble. Always seek restitution and forgiveness. Keep an open mind. Don't be easily offended. Forgive with no strings attached." At the time, my kids weren't in many situations where this advice would apply since they were pretty young, but now that two are in school and are regularly rubbing elbows with other kids, this advice has been so applicable.

I can't tell you how many times those words have come to my mind when I've been shocked by one of my kids' behavior. It's tempting to make excuses...oh he's just tired, he must not have heard their instruction, etc... But the truth of the matter is this-my kids make mistakes, even big ones. As much as I'd like everyone else to think they're the most perfect angels on earth (don't we all?) they're NOT. They're sinners. In fact, if I think really hard about it, they're a lot like someone I know pretty well-myself.

Recently a very close friend of mine called me to tell me about something one of my boys had done while he was with her. I was so surprised by it. It was not something this particular child would normally do (it wasn't something he struggles with) yet, it was clear he had really messed up. It was so hard for me to swallow. I wanted to make excuses. I wanted to explain it away. But here's the thing-I couldn't. It was blatant. And I needed to deal with it. Afterward, I was so thankful that my friend loved my son and us enough to tell us about it. It took courage on her part to do so. And in the moment, it was really hard for me not to fight it. But I had to unclench my fists and keep my hands open. I had to let it go.

Because my husband is a teacher, I get a front row seat to some parent interactions he has. He doesn't normally have too many parent issues because he teaches mostly juniors and seniors who are all pretty smart (Physics and Calculus students). As a result, they want to be there and give him very few issues. But he still has some. And often these parents will do everything in their power to try and say that Steve is the problem. It doesn't matter that their student is absent 50% of the time, never does their homework and fails every test, it's his fault. Because nothing is ever their child's fault so if something is wrong, it must be somebody else.

I don't want to be like that. Yet in the moment, it's so hard to discipline myself to do the right thing when faced with another mess-up. I want to clench my hands and hold on tight shaking my head that it must not be true...but I have to let go. I have to keep my hands open.

My kids aren't perfect. Their behavior will embarrass me. They are going to make big mistakes as they learn about life. And I, myself, might have to pay for them. But making them walk through the process of owning their wrong includes me owning it too. If I can't own it, how can I ever get them to? And if I try and keep them from these situations by limiting their access to the world, how will they ever learn? How will they become equipped to deal with life?

Humility is so difficult. And it's even more difficult when I'm trying to hold onto my pride. That's why I have to keep my hands open. I don't know what our future holds. I can train my kids as best as I can but my hands must stay open. I'm going to be disappointed. I'm going to be mortified. I'm going to be totally frustrated.

But if my hands are open, then I can let go of my shallow ideals and at least move in the right direction. In these times my kids need me to help them seek the forgiveness that comes through repentance and moves them to make restitution. In the end, that's the most important thing.

A Little Series

2011-11-29T14:49:00.000-08:00

I've been enjoying a series of articles written by Rachel Jankovic on the subject of homemaking and mothering. They are just too good not to pass on so I decided to give you all a series of links to check out if you so desire. Rachel writes in a very candid, real sort of way about the challenges we all face as mothers yet she does so without coddling. She's refreshing, challenging and very engaging. I hope you all enjoy them as much as I have. She's actually written a ton of articles. These are just a couple of her most recent ones. You can find the rest of them over at the Femina blog.

Ungraceful Parenting

Let's Get Specific

When the Milkshake Runs Low-My favorite

Potent Comfort

How Do We Love Thee? Let Me Count Some of the Ways...

It Has Begun...

2011-11-28T15:23:00.000-08:00

Advent is here.

The waiting has begun. The short days and dark nights remind us of the darkness the world lay in before Christ came.

Creation was groaning for its Savior.

These weeks leading up to Christmas tell the Christmas story. It's cold. It's dark. We need the Light.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God.

All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it....The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world. John 1:1-5, 9

We remember that wait. We internalize it as best as we can. And we rejoice in the hope that comes in knowing that He did come. He did make a way for our salvation through His death on the cross.

It's time to remember. It's time to wait with great expectation. Soon enough, it will be time to celebrate.

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T10:11:00.000-08:00

I hope your day is full of laughter, turkey, family, pie and thankfulness. As we say in our house, "God has been good to us, let us give thanks!"

From our home to yours, Happy Thanksgiving!!

Great Resource

2011-11-21T15:24:00.000-08:00

As you all know, my husband is a math nerd. Well, as much as I love him, I'm not. I'm actually an English nerd and love great literature and creative writing. As much as I respect his mathiness, I also wish to impart the love of reading and the magical mystery of story into my children. When I was a little girl, I read myself to sleep every.single.night. I'm not joking. And to be honest, I have so many great memories of those times.

I've been attempting for awhile to get my hands on some good literature for my kidlets but they're all at different levels and so it's been a bit precarious. It's also hard for me to sift through what's good on my own. Sometimes having too much information (i.e. the internet) is not helpful!! But then I remembered a book that had been plugged on the Femina website awhile back that was all about children's literature. It's called, Honey for a Child's Heart by Gladys Hunt.

First of all, let me say this, I bought the book for practical reasons because it had an annotated book list in the back according to age groups. But what I didn't expect was that I loved the actual book itself. It was SO inspiring.

Gladys actually does a great job of explaining why good stories should be at the center of a family culture because they speak so much to a child's heart and are truly instructive. I've seen this with my own kids already. Often when one of the children is trying to demand their own way, we remind them of Veruca Salt from, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, whose Dad did not love her and simply gave her everything she wanted. They know it's wrong. They know because they felt her ugly attitude in the story. This is just one example. Literature offers tons.

Also, there are so many books I read in childhood that I'd forgotten about. Her book lists helped jog my memory and in doing so, brought back such pleasant memories. My parents always encouraged us to read and for that I'm very grateful! There were so many books on the book list that I hadn't read. So that was helpful too. However, her narrative about why reading is important was probably my favorite part. The book lists were practical. The narrative was inspirational.

So if you're like me and you're trying to come up with good books for your little ones to be reading (or for you to be reading aloud), check out this book. Get it on amazon for a couple of bucks (that's what I did). You won't be disappointed.

Sprinting

2011-11-16T14:43:00.000-08:00

I'm not a sprinter. I'm a distance runner. Give me a cool, brisk morning and I'm gone for miles. But throw a shorter distance of sprints at me and I feel like I'm going to puke--quick!! But really, without working sprints into your running schedule, you'll never get faster. Sprints increase speed and build endurance which only enhances and strengthens your distance. They're essential to good running. Yet still, I'd much rather run distance. However, as much as I love a good long run, after running for awhile, I get tired. And tired is what I've been lately.

We're pretty close to the end of Steve's semester with Texas A & M. We're so close we can see it and after this class he's very, very close to halfway done (technically he's half done, halfway through next semester-it's complicated). That means that we can look at it as if we're going downhill instead of still climbing uphill. Yet the months of work and wear is also starting to show and our family is in need of a little respite. Some of the wheels of our normally well-oiled machine have been threatening to come off. This is how it always is at the end. I can usually see the finish line but it still looms far enough off in the distance to create a bit of discouragement.

But this is the point in a race when sprinting is a must. Any good runner knows that when the finish line is in sight, it's time to sprint no matter what's left.

When the finish line is dangling close, there are all sorts of things to complete and that finishing requires a big push. So what it really means is that it's go time...not coast time. Even if my muscles are straining, it's still time to take it up a notch. However, since we've already been huffing and puffing for awhile, strength starts to wane and it takes a lot of discipline to finish well. This is where we're at.

Yesterday, both Steve and I were tired. Both of us felt the pressure. And both of us were annoyed. We don't often get out of sorts (it's just not our way) but pretty quickly, we realized that our moods and present circumstances were the perfect medium for an argument. Instead of me heeding the warning signs, I decided to dive head first into the fray to let off a bit of steam. Because I deserved it people. That's right.

After nearly ten years of marriage to my husband, you'd think I would know that isn't a good idea (nor is it loving either). Steve can withstand a lot from me at times pouring on patience when I'm being a bit silly, but patience was not a virtue readily available last night and I quickly found myself in a whole heap of trouble. Trouble that I started and knew pretty quickly I needed to repent of.

In an effort to keep short accounts, which is a staple in our home, I quickly sought him out to explain my frustration and seek forgiveness. My problem wasn't really with him. More with a need for some rest. He of course, felt the same too. Our family rides on his shoulders along with all of his other responsibilities. We're quite a bit to carry just by ourselves. And not to sell myself short, I carry quite a bit too as his helper and can find the race wearing at times. Who doesn't? That's just life isn't it?

We have a pretty small house and with the children still awake, finding a place to talk by ourselves wasn't easy. We finally just huddled in our room and shut the door to sort things out. And sort them out we did.

While this was going on, there was a literal circus taking place right on the other side of our door. I remember thinking, as we were restoring fellowship, "I cannot believe the craziness that's going on literally two feet away from us. Thank God for that door!" You see, the children knew we were in there. And they wanted in too. All they knew though, was that we had told them to stay out, just for a few minutes until we were done talking. They could hardly handle it.

The whole time we were talking, Joshy was singing John Jacob Dingleheimer Smith and Can You Feel the Love Tonight? (not at this moment-no) at the top of his lungs. Caleb was keeping time to the music by banging his gun right against the door on the upbeat. Ellie decided she was not to be outdone and was wailing at the TOP of her lungs chanting, "Mama! Mama!" in the most pathetic tone creating an off-tune sort of harmony with her older brothers. And Isaac, who being the oldest was probably more onto our disagreement than we would've liked, kept interjecting worriedly with "Mommy, Daddy, Mommy, Daddy." like a repetitive set of background vocals.

It was absolutely comical.

And we ignored it.

Because, those four precious hooligans causing all that racket on the other side of the door depend on us to sort things out, to make things right, to restore fellowship. It's up to us.

After talking, we opened the door to let them in and they all spilled through the doorway like a row of dominoes right on top of one another. But their joy was evident. We were back on track and all was right with their world and ours as well.

It reminded me yet again, our strength is small. God's strength is enormous. We might feel tired. But God carries us. We're all grown up now. Our children are depending on us to make the right choices. Staying on the same team when the pressure is mounting is important. Seeking forgiveness is key.

Focusing on the sprint with our eyes on Christ is paramount. Only He can make us fly like the wind when our strength is gone.

Remember Who You Are

2011-11-11T13:45:00.000-08:00

And Peter said to them, "Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to himself." Acts 2:38-39

It's Friday again...beloved Friday. The beginning of the weekend, when fun things happen. One of those happy activities is what the boys call "Cleaning Day". Before you all puke from disgust thinking my boys are begging to help me dust like good little children, hear me out...Cleaning Day for me, means a movie for them. Once they've done some things to help (I do require some work), I put on a little cinema to help pass the time while I mop and clean bathrooms. It's a win for me because I need the little hands occupied while I deal with the dirtier stuff and it's a win for them because it's usually been a bit since they watched a movie.

So...this morning they were watching the Lion King, courtesy of my parents (thanks guys!). First off, I know some people have problems with Disney films. I think most of them are fine...just my opinion. Yet there are some thematic things to deal with since their mantra is mostly about believing in yourself and all that garbage. If we believe in ourselves, we're pretty much headed for ruin...but I'm digressing. I think, as parents, we don't necessarily have to be scared of these themes. We can talk about them ya know. Our kids do have to live in the world. And there are some great stories in Disney films too!

Anyhoo, as I was mopping the floor, I was listening to a part in the movie where Rafiki, the baboon, was telling Simba not to run from his past but to remember his history...to remember his family...to remember who he was. His Dad had been the king, and his grandpa was the king before him, and so on. Simba needed to remember who he was...he was the rightful king even if he didn't think he was worthy of it. As the scene continued on, I started thinking about how it was a beautiful picture of the kind of faith heritage we're trying to leave to our children.

First of all, when I start talking about a faith heritage, some people automatically think that means that we're trying to save our kids with our faith. Hear this, both Steve and I don't believe that we can do anything to save our kids. That's God's work. But we will do everything we can to point them to Him. I think most Christian parents feel this way; it's just that we don't always go about it in the same way.

For us, we want their history, their story to be based on The Story, the Gospel, namely Christ. Everything possible, in our family, will be built upon that rock. We'll do our best to teach them how to pray, how to have faith, to sup at the Lord's Table, to study the Bible, to seek forgiveness when needed and most importantly the ins and outs of the Gospel. We won't hold them back because they're small. We want them to learn now what it means to be a Christian and we'll include them as much as we can in our worship. We're not going to wait to do that until we're positively sure they have faith. For we don't know that we'll ever be able to know that for certain. That's for God to decide. So that's what we're striving for at least, though we fail along the way. This is their faith history.

Now they were bringing even infants to him that he might touch them. And when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them to him, saying, "Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it. Luke 18:15-17

And then there is their actual, physical faith history. They come from a family that believes in Christ. Their grandparents believe (and generations before them) and have incredible faith; we, their parents, believe and we want to pass that faith on to them. Now when they grow up, they may wholeheartedly embrace that history as their own and again, that will be God's saving work or simply evidence that He already has saved them. Or they may walk away.

We can only pray that God will save them. And that if they do walk away, that God will chase them down. But for us and what we're responsible for, their history will be about believing. And if they do wander from the faith, you better believe we'll be there telling them, "Remember who you are. Remember where you come from. Remember your history." And we'll pray for them.

Of course now, when our children are small, they all say they believe (minus Elle that is). They all know why Jesus came and what He did. They all understand that they sin and are in need of grace. But I can't peer into their hearts. It's not up to me to judge their faith. It may not be as mature as mine, but Jesus Himself talks about the kingdom of God belonging to little children. And we all know that God does what He pleases. If He wants to save my kids at a young age, He can do it. I don't doubt that for second. So when they say they believe, I don't doubt it. And in the meantime, I can only water the seeds planted deep inside...it's up to God to make them grow.

"I [Paul] planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth." 1 Cor. 4:6,7

And that fruit will be apparent over time.

Remember who you are...

They are ours. And we, their parents, are Christians. They are growing up amidst a rich faith heritage. So we will do our best to fill their history up with Christ and trust God to do the rest.

Best of Both Worlds

2011-11-08T14:12:00.000-08:00

Some mothers really don't want their kids having sugar. I can respect that. I don't really want my kids gorging on it either. Yet at the same time, I personally don't think it's a big deal (within reason that is). Everyone knows what it's like to be around kids that are fed the stuff like it's their last meal or something. However, desserts are treats. They are delightful. And I feel like a child's younger years should be sprinkled with their goodness. A little bit here and a little shake there makes a happy child, let me tell you. And this mama loves to make these little treats. It's probably because I'm biased. I LOVE treats myself. It's my one weakness.

But that's why I love this recipe. Yes it has sugar...both white and brown. Yes it has butter (two whole sticks). But it has some other redeeming qualities like tons of oatmeal, heart healthy nuts and lots of raisins. What's not to love? I have searched high and low to find a good oatmeal cookie and this one wins hands down every.single.time. Gone are the dry, rock solid "healthy" cookies. Welcome the best...moist, chewy, flavorful oatmeal cookies. We love them around here.

And I'll let you in on a little secret why they're the best...it's all in the raisin soak.

But we'll get to that. It sounds complicated but it's not.

So here it is. A healthy, yummy and full of sugar dessert. If you don't like sugar, just look the other way and remember how the oats are helping lower your child's cholesterol. If you don't care, except to keep desserts to be consumed in moderation (like me), then simply mix as directed and be happy about the smiles that will soon be on your children's faces. We all have our methods and each one is different and acceptable. So here is my perfect oatmeal cookie, the best of both worlds.

Oatmeal Cookies
Hot Providence
By Lisa Qualls

3 eggs, well beaten
1 c. raisins
1 tsp. vanilla
1 c. butter, softened
1 c. sugar
1 c. brown sugar
2 1/2 c. flour
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. cinnamon
2 tsp. baking soda
2 c. oatmeal
3/4 c. chopped walnuts or pecans (optional and I don't put them in because I'm cheap)

Combine eggs, raisins and vanilla and let stand for one hour, covered with plastic wrap. This is the raisin soak and it helps the raisins plump and get so ooey-gooey and yummy!!

After an hour, cream together butter and sugars. Mix dry ingredients together (except the oatmeal) and whisk to combine. Add flour mixture to butter/sugar mixture. Mix well.

Blend in egg-raisin mixture.

Once incorporated, add the oatmeal and chopped nuts if you're using. Dough will be stiff. Drop by heaping teaspoons onto cookie sheet.

Bake at 350 degrees for 10-12 minutes or until slightly browned.

Be happy. They're "healthy" and yummy.

Eat a couple, pass them out to your family and see the smiles. I never met a kid who didn't like an oatmeal cookie.

On High Horses

2011-11-07T20:01:00.000-08:00

Excerpted from one of my favorite little books of poetry...Sketches of Home by Suzanne Clark.

I sing of words preposterous, of speed lemons and babloons and music to my nose (the smell of coffee). I sing of blood jumping up and down and kicking its feet, the way you once described excitement. I sing of runful and jumpful. Blessed be your verbs: "Mommy, I drinkdid a glass of water," "I wroot you a letter," "I holded on," "I bees happy." Off you go on high horses, two jesters juggling cockeyed words into my straight and narrow air.

From Caleb telling Isaac that he's, "The apple of his eye." To Joshua constantly yelling, "Mommy, I'm trying to get your attention!!" when I don't respond right away. To Isaac reading his "Sille" Story for the hundredth time to Elliana proudly announcing, "Dump!" as she pours out my water bottle on the floor.

The amount of words and language that run through this household on a daily basis is absurd yet so beautiful in its own sort of way. Everyone on their different levels.

Isaac practicing picking out verbs/nouns/adjectives in a sentence (Miss Brown, you're amazing)...Caleb sounding out simple phonetic words and lighting up that he can do it...Joshua saying the funniest thing that comes to mind in the most sophisticated way he can making everyone laugh...Ellie speaking a language only she knows that often sounds a lot like Chinese.

It's all there. Overheard. By me alone.

I'm pretty lucky to be privy to such things. I better cherish it. Write it on the tablet of my heart like a love song. It's all just too precious.

Two Outta Four...50%!

2011-11-04T14:50:00.000-07:00

We've got another cutie in glasses. That brings the grand total to two in our house. Two pairs to keep track of and two to keep clean. Two to hopefully keep from scratches and two chubby faces to adore behind their specs.

He's still getting used to wearing them (and so am I...his face looks so different) but we're really thankful that they're helping correct his vision. His eyes were turning in quite often.

I've still got my eye on this though (hardy har har) because his strabismus came on so suddenly. I want to be sure that's all it is. Although, that is how it looks now so we'll go with it.

Thankful.

Kinda Like a First

2011-11-02T14:35:00.001-07:00

Something rather special occurred in our home this last Sunday night. Steve just happened to finish up his math assignment early on in the weekend so he was around more than usual. Because of this, we decided to take advantage of his bit of freedom to take Isaac out on a little Daddy date.

But this wasn't just any Daddy date. It was something we had been planning for a long time...a few months in fact.

On this special night, his Daddy took him out to ice cream to give him his first real Bible.

A few months ago, we started realizing that he still didn't have a complete Bible. Now that he can read pretty fluently, we thought it would be the right time to get him one. But where to look? Back in the day, before so much online shopping, one could just walk into their local Christian bookstore. But we don't have one in our area. So we were forced to look online. The only downside was that it's hard to get a feel for the style of the Bible without looking at it in person.

There weren't too many criteria but there were a few things we were dead set-on. It had to be a full Bible (not a shortened version) in the ESV (because that's the version we have and we wanted it to be the same for simplicity's sake). We also didn't want it to be too childish. We don't have anything wrong with kiddy pictures but we didn't want it too cartoony because hey, that's just our style.

We finally found one that got great reviews at Walmart for $16. Can you say score? Not only that but, it's put out by Desiring God Ministries (John Piper). And pretty much, my husband is in love with John Piper so...we were sold. All of the study notes throughout the Bible are written by them and so they are really well done. The pictures are realistic and not too silly either. Double win! Ha!

So back to Sunday. We'd already had an adventurous afternoon with Elliana in Urgent Care due to a cut on her cheek that needed gluing. We were all a tad tired. So we waited until it was time for everyone to go to bed. And then Steve announced, as Isaac was brushing his teeth, that he needed to put his clothes back on and come with him. He had a present in his hand. Isaac was dumbfounded. His brothers were heartbroken (but I had a little trick up my sleeve for them, so it worked out okay). And off they went.

In the meantime, I put Elliana down and then I broke out the last two cupcakes from Caleb's Reformation Day Party at school the Thursday before. All was forgotten and Joshua and Caleb were giggling over the gummy worms. I made Diet of Wermes Cupcakes in honor of Martin Luther's trial (Diet is the German word for trial; and this Diet/Trial was held in the city of Wermes, Germany).

Later Steve filled me in on their little time. They went to "Froster's"...Foster's Freeze that is and Steve gave him the Bible. Isaac was so, SO excited.

It was a special night that we'll always remember. It was kinda like a first. You see, we know of a family that took their sons through various "ceremonies" I guess you could call them, at different points of their lives. These ceremonies were intentional with the hope of teaching them how to become men who love the Lord. We've always wanted to emulate that.

So among many steps, this was just the first one. It was pretty special for us to have Steve take his firstborn son out, give him his first Bible and tell him how much it means to him and how it will teach Isaac how to live...to love God and love others.

Pretty special indeed.

The Obligatory Halloween Pics

2011-10-31T14:09:00.000-07:00

We had a pretty mellow Halloween. We did our usual trek of trick or treating around the school campus and ended up with quite a loot. I'm going to have to hide all of that candy from myself or I'll be in trouble!! Candy...sweets...they're my one weakness.

The neighborhood came out in droves. It was such fun to see all of the littles dressed up so adorably. Oh how I love Halloween!!

I didn't think Steve and I would dress up this year. But somehow, I was able to squeeze myself into one of my old prom dresses (don't worry, one of them wasn't even close to buttoning) and so we went as the late 90's prom date.

Here are some cuties on their way to school this morning. These two, and another of their pals, have been friends since birth.

I had to get a picture with my little girl. I just love her so much.

And of course, the little girl with her Daddy...melt.me.right.now.

This little soldier just loves his baby sister....well, most of the time. I love seeing how tight they are.

I hope you all had a fabulous Halloween and stuffed yourselves full of candy. For one night of the year it's just plain okay!

After the trick or treating, we went home and let the kids eat candy while watching The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.

Life is good. God just smothers us in blessing doesn't He? Halloween is a night to remember how God has conquered the grav e. So celebrate His victory and eat another Reese's. The Devil just plain has NO chance.

Cross Country Wrap-up

2011-10-29T16:55:00.000-07:00

As you all know, I had the very great opportunity to help a bit with Monte Vista's cross country team this season. Although I only got to get out there once a week, it was a TON of fun. Getting to know the students a bit more was really a blessing to me and I look forward to getting to know them even more as time goes on.

On Friday there was a little party commemorating the season and I was able to show up with the kids for a little bit. We watched The Office episode where they run the 5K for Rabies. Seriously, so, so funny. The running jokes in that episode are just classic. We also enjoyed some food and got to say good-bye to the season.

I love running and I love connecting with high school girls. So it was really special for me to marry those two passions. I'm thankful to my mom and hubby for giving that gift to me.

Today they ran their finals. I'm so proud of those kids!! Go Mustangs!!

Bless the Lord, O My Soul

2011-10-26T14:40:00.000-07:00

This Psalm has always spoken to me. I can name numerous times at different points in my life that it has meant different things to me and spoken various truths to my heart. Right now, it's back at it filling my heart with strength, truth and beauty. This morning, around the breakfast table, the boys and I were talking about this passage because we were discussing how all of us sin yet God grants mercy amidst our mistakes...that is if we confess our sins and repent.

This isn't always our discussion, but for some reason, this morning, our conversation went there and this Psalm came to mind for I had been reading it again lately and drinking in its goodness. This Psalm beautifully illustrates our faith and how God saves us. It reminds me how far I've fallen and how far God has reached to save me, to revive my soul from death. As a busy mom, I don't always have time to really study anymore, at least not for any length of time. So instead, I just sit in a passage and let it wash over me. Throughout the day I can gulp it down, feeding on its nourishment as I go along. Psalm 103 is that for me again right now.

Just wanted to share it. It's just too good not to pass on.

Psalm 103

Bless the Lord, O my soul
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

The Lord works righteousness
and justice for all who are oppressed.
He made known his ways to Moses,
his acts to the people of Israel.
The Lord is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

He will not always chide,
nor will he keep his anger forever.
He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
For he knows our frame,
he remembers that we are dust.

As for man, his days are like grass;
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and its places knows it no more.

But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children's children,
to those who keep his covenant
and remember to do his commandments.
The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,
and his kingdom rules over all.

Bless the Lord, O you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his word,
obeying the voice of his word!
Bless the Lord, all his hosts,
his ministers, who do his will!
Bless the Lord, all his works,
in all places of his dominion.
Bless the Lord, O my soul.

San Luis Obispo-Need I Say More?

2011-10-25T13:54:00.000-07:00

Nearly 500 people attended the 19th Annual AGO Pismo Football Tournament this year.

We spent another amazing weekend in San Luis Obispo soaking in family, friends, football and food! Ha! We made all of our usual stops. Our kids even know them now...Bali's frozen yogurt for some serve yourself fro yo, Mondeo's for amazing wraps, Splash Cafe for clam chowder and the Cal Poly store for some much needed paraphernalia (Meris...shhhh don't tell anyone how much paraphernalia we already have).

The newest addition.

The Kappa Alumni football team swept the tournament and all of us "old" alumni (for we are old now) got a ton of hangout time (Whitacres...boo! We missed you TREMENDOUSLY!).

Two old cronies/best pals, getting the rules for the umpteenth time. Ryan always does such a good job.

We also got to visit and stay with our San Luis Obispo family, The Weeks. They always shower us with care, great conversation and plenty of food to eat. Not only that but they blessed us with babysitting too on Saturday night so that we could hit the end of the alumni party after our kids went to bed. We ended the weekend with a family photo shoot at Avila Valley Barn, done by an old pal from Camp Hammer, who is a phenomenal photographer. Meeting her three little ones afterward was such a delight.

It is such a joy to see all of our kids playing together!!

Gotta have some strategy to beat those young'ins...looked like it worked.

All in all, the kids were troopers, slept great and had a blast themselves. Traveling is getting a bit easier. Besides Elliana throwing Joshua's asthma inhalers in the trash (and subsequently them getting left in SLO) there weren't any snafus to think of. And those medicines were found and will be here sometime in the next week or so. Gotta love those little hands.

One of the best parts of the trip is always explaining to the kids why San Luis Obispo is so important to us. Besides it being the home to Cal Poly, the best university in the world (Ha!), it's where we dated and spent our first three years married. Isaac loves to announce that he was born there saying, "There's my hospital!!" as we drive past good ole' French Hospital on our way to the Weeks. That does encapsulate a lot of what is special about SLO, him making us parents there...however, really it's so special because it's where we began. It's the first few chapters of our history. As we drove them all past the AGO House where Steve lived for a few years during college, Steve pointed out the sandwich place next door where he used to go buy sandwiches. And then I said, "Yeah and that curb is where Daddy loved to kiss Mommy goodnight." They all just died laughing. That cute little Americana town always be home. Even though we don't live there anymore, a lot of memories line those streets-a lot of very special, wonderful times.

Now it's back to reality. I'm just doing laundry and getting caught back up.

But I'm glad for weekends like this last one as busy as it was. We got to have Daddy with us all weekend and we got to be in one of the most beautiful towns in America with a bunch of people we love.

These guys will be friends forever.

My girls...love you guys. There were definitely a bunch missing BUT, it was still wonderful to catch up with the ones who were there.

Totally worth all of the effort to get there.

Busy, Busy, Busy

2011-10-20T13:50:00.000-07:00

Well, we've been busy. We've been to the eye doctor. Child number two, Caleb, is also extremely farsighted and will be outfitted in his very own glasses here soon. I'm super thankful that all is well with him and that he just needs glasses. His eye crossing came on quite suddenly (about six weeks ago) and at a much older age than Josh so , there was some concern that it could be a neurological problem. But for now, his eye exam was consistent with strabismus (eye crossing due to extreme farsightedness) and so, besides a new set of glasses, he is no worse for the wear. I'm doing better with him getting glasses than I first did with Joshy. I've seen how much having glasses has helped Joshua so I'm just thankful, especially since Caleb is just starting school.

Joshua had his moment to shine this week too as he made his debut at the ENT today. We saw the nicest doctor ever, who told me very confidently that there is no reason to remove tonsils unless they are an extreme hazard. He said, "They can even be quite large and not cause a problem." This statement came after I told him that Joshua cannot eat carrots, apples, and some meats and that our pediatrican had checked him out and wanted him to be evaluated. At three years old, he should be able to get those foods down. He chews them up forever and then finally ends up spitting them out. He also snores a lot when he sleeps but so do a lot of kids. However, when he had Joshy open his mouth, he exclaimed, "Wow! Those are some of the biggest tonsils I've seen. We call those a 4+!" All right! Considering this man's age, that was quite a statement. He then proceeded to tell me that between his massive tonsils and bulging adenoids, every time Josh tries to swallow it's like a cork stops up his throat or like two huge marshmellows. No wonder the kid is the messiest eater ever. He literally shoves food back into his mouth as he eats and must drink while eating in order to get his food down. I just always thought he was really messy.

So he'll be having a tonsillectomy sometime in the near future. Having this done will probably help his asthma as well. Every little bit helps.

The husband has been studying like a madman. He's doing really well in his class but is just gone a lot. I'm pretty used to it now but I do miss him like crazy.

But this weekend, we get him all to our selves...kinda. We have to share him with football but...that's okay. Because it's the annual AGO Pismo Tournament so, we get to go back to the promised land, eat amazing food, see tons of people we love and be all together for the weekend.

Speaking of which, I've gotta go. I've got tons to do.

Have a great weekend.

The Beauty of the Infinite

2011-10-18T13:46:00.000-07:00

When a woman marries, she becomes a new person. Her identity becomes swallowed up by her husband's and this is a good thing. This is the way it is supposed to be. She doesn't forget who she was, she just brings it with her and then with the addition of her husband's personality, becomes an entirely new creature. Even when embraced and celebrated, this process can be difficult at times because a woman has to learn to be this new person. And that takes time.

And it takes God.

"Three things are too wonderful for me; four I do not understand: the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a serpent on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a virgin." Proverbs 30: 18-19

It's also a mystery the way God weaves her into the fabric of her husband's soul. No one can be quite sure how it is done. Yet that weaving together produces a beauty that no other relationship could. It's one of difficulty at times and one of excitement too. Yet nevertheless, it is a stitching together and God Himself, laces His own person through, in and out, to create bonds that cannot be broken.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm,but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

So a woman takes on her husband's identity in name and she becomes as much who he is as she can. Over time, as her respect for him grows, so does her pride as she learns to identify who he is and what God has made him to do.

For every man has strengths and God has gifted them all with something to do, able work for them to provide for their families. It is these talents that a woman learns to love and respect over time. She may not always understand them but she must learn not to compete with them for his affection, but to revere them and glory in them. For they are God-given.

When Steve and I met, I learned quickly that he loved math-passionately. I also learned over time that he not only loved it but that he was unusually gifted in it. He saw things that most people don't see and the more I began to look through his eyes, the more I learned that he really saw the world in logical patterns, numbers and shapes. And these patterns just came out at him blinking like a lit up summer night.

Yet I am a literary girl. I love language. I love words. And I love books. So, even though I had never hated math, I had also never come to see the same beauty that he sees as he calculates and brings his proofs down to completion. Nor have I understood the feeling of euphoria he feels when he conquers a problem he has wrestled with for over eight hours. These things were not a part of my world before and I didn't know how to relate or how to be proud. It was a mystery to me and one that I could only cheer for at a distance and pray for as he fought.

Steve often tells me that he wishes he had someone to talk to about what he is learning. It can be lonely. It's like reading an amazing novel and having no one to discuss the ideas with. Or like eating a fantastic dinner with no one to share it with. Or drinking an amazing wine all by yourself. It's lonely. As a result, as God has knit us closer over these last nearly ten years, what I have learned is not linear algebra or numerical analysis, for those are things I will never learn, but instead, I've simply learned to listen.

As he explains, he tells me what he's doing and how it works. And as he speaks, I can see, even though I don't understand, why it is so beautiful to him. Did you know there is more than one infinity? Mind blowing I know. Did you know what a google is? It's a really big number. I mean a really, really big number. I believe it has a hundred zeroes (not totally sure if I'm remembering correctly though). That's where Google comes from. A google plex is even bigger. Just ask Caleb. It's his favorite adjective. Everything is "goo goo plex big" and so forth.

I've started to pay attention to all of the scraps of paper lying around, riddled with math speak, letters, numbers and symbols and have come to love those lines as if they were my own. Why? Because those numbers, those symbols represent the very heart of the man I love and are the key to who he is. How can I not respect, revere and love those scribblings? How can I not embrace the beauty and care written down in his quest for understanding? If I love him then I love his work and passions, and marvel in them with him as much as I can.

Every man's passions point him back to his Creator. For mine, every equation, every unknown, every variable, reminds him of how God created the world so intricately and amazingly. He sees the Beauty of the Infinite in these details and it causes him to worship.

Some of the best advice I ever got in my early years of marriage had to do with respect for what Steve loved. Don't ever be afraid of loving and revering your husband's talents. Marvel in them. Do your best to understand them. They won't be the same as your neighbor's husband but who cares? If you love him, you'll love what he does and what makes him tick. You'll love what excites him even if it doesn't make sense to you. Cultivate that respect and watch it grow over time.

As you do so, God will give you glimpses of who he is (your husband) and who He is. And your souls will be knit further together. And as you are woven, you will see the Beauty of the Infinite.

Humbled

2011-10-17T13:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we left pretty quickly after church because the 49er game was already in progress. It was a huge game too and so Steve really wanted to watch it. Heck, I wanted to watch it. We don't have any channels so, if he wants to watch a game, we have to get a bit creative. Sometimes he watches it online but since it was such an important game, Steve wanted to go watch it at our local pizza parlor. It was a total splurge and tons of fun. They have an arcade and so the kids just ran around pretending to play the games until lunch arrived. After that, they each got a couple of quarters to play. Once the fourth quarter hit, Elliana was done and ready for a nap so I headed home with the kids to put everyone to bed. Steve stayed for the end of the game and then headed over to Starbucks to study until dinnertime.

As I arrived home, I was pretty tired but was in mode to get everyone down so I could rest a bit. I pulled into the driveway and noticed our porch stacked high with these items. Whaaat? Strawberries? Trail Mix bars? Bananas, apples, canned corn, spaghetti sauce? Goodness personified. Such kindness and generosity laden in those boxes.

I quickly glanced around but found no note and no one in sight. Someone had just wanted to bless us.

The boys were excited. It's not everyday that they find all sorts of yummy stuff piled up on our doorstep. And do you want to know what the best part was? It was getting to share with them about how God cares for us all the time. It was so tangible...it was right in front of them. I explained how God wanted to bless us so He laid it on somebody's heart to give us all that loot. They got it. It was a great lesson for all of them.

It was a great reminder to me.

I have no idea who did it but, when these sorts of things happen, it always reminds me how much God provides for us. And it's humbling. Especially for people like us who really have so much (both of our parents always are doing stuff like this for us too).

So much.

Pretty thankful.

The Grad School Diet

2011-10-12T13:13:00.000-07:00

Or...AKA "How to Conquer the Dreaded Dried Bean"

As a mom and manager of our home, I am always looking for ways to save money. I think all of us are. The urge to save a few, comes with the territory, I'm convinced. However, as our family has plunged further into the abyss of the Masters in Math, my skills have moved from quite helpful to expedient and necessary. And this is all fine because, really, it's like a game. How much money can we cut out of the food budget, while still feeding everyone well?

In the quest for winning the game, I've come to a few conclusions. One is that I need to shop more at Costco, not less. Some of you may not agree with me and might think Costco can be more expensive. On some things yes. But those things I get at Trader Joe's which leaves Safeway to be the place I pick up little things here and there, and my beloved ice cream. Must.have.ice.cream.

The second thing I've realized is that we need to eat even less meat. I'm not a huge meat eater anyway, so this hasn't been difficult for me. The husband has had to adjust a little bit but, has come along pretty nicely. That saves a decent amount. I've done a bit of fish when I can (frozen from Trader's is pretty reasonable) and I pick up meat whenever possible.

And lastly, this is a no-brainer, but I have really, really made sure we eat as many leftovers as possible. I tried to do this before but wasn't super strict about it. Now, I'm becoming more consistent. This has taken some getting used to. But all of us are coming around. Lunches are not immune either...I want all of our food eaten! And then I've stuck to things I already do, like making most things from scratch. Hear me now...that's not a dig on anyone who doesn't like to cook/bake like that. I just happen to enjoy it so it works for me. Plus, it saves me quite a bit of money too so it's a win, win.

But back to the meat. Since we aren't eating quite as much meat, I've started to dabble in the world of beans. Beans are cheap...dirt cheap. You know the saying, "We'll be eating rice and beans...." Well people, that's what we've been doing. And it's not as bad as it sounds.

Now first of all, I need to make a disclaimer right now. We live in America. We have the luxury of having different food every night. Heck, we even have food to eat every night so we are in no way starving!! However, in order to put the husband through grad school and send two of our boys to private school (because we want them to receive a Christian education and feel it's the best option for us), we've had to make some changes, to accommodate our dwindling food budget.

Okay, now that I got that out of the way, onto beans. Besides being the musical fruit, they are quite tasty and incredibly versatile. They can go in just about anything and kids love them. The only problem I've had with beans is that in order to really save bunches on them, you have to buy them dried, not canned and believe me, that is quite a roadblock. At least for me it is. Remembering to soak them is the worst and can derail me before I even start! But anyhoo...

I can hear what you're all thinking right at this moment, as I start talking about dried beans. "What?" You say. "Dried? People only cooked with dried beans in the 'olden days.'" Yes, I know. I'm with you. I'd much rather crack open a can of beans at dinnertime because it's convenient but, if you do it that way, you don't save much, if anything at all. However, buying a pound of dried beans (or even many pounds) is dirt cheap and yields many, many cups of beans. These beans can be frozen and used for all sorts of things. For our family of six, we need lots of beans.

When I decided to start incorporating more beans into our diet, what we lovingly call, The Grad School Diet, I realized that I had to get over my fear about preparing beans from scratch. Why did I feel I couldn't do it? Was it because many previous batches of mine ended up crunchy? Or was it laziness in reference to having to soak the beans the night before? I don't really know. But what I did know, was that I had to get over it and quick.

So, I pulled out my trusty America's Test Kitchen cookbook that NEVER fails me and got to work. The first crucial step is soaking. If you try and do the quick soak, they almost always cook unevenly. At least that is my experience. So, I decided to try a batch when I didn't even need them so there wasn't that pressure. I set the beans to soak the night before and simply simmered them on the stove top the next morning. I hardly looked at them and only stirred here and there between play dough, tinker toys and reading time. When the allotted time was up, I checked them and they were plump, rich and creamy? What? Did I really do it? Maybe it was beginner's luck. We ate beans that night for dinner and I froze the rest.

Then I tried a few different batches with a couple of different kinds of beans and they all worked. I sat amazed. Maybe all this time I was afraid of nothing. Or maybe, I just actually followed the directions (which included soaking the night before). Who knows for sure? Either way, coupled with some rice, stirred into soup, laden thick with chili or mashed for burritos, this beans thing was easy on my pocketbook and filled our bellies.

Here's a quick dinner idea: slap some rice together, along with a bit of cheese, sour cream, salsa (with our plethora of tomatoes we've had homemade-yummy) accompanied by the HUGE bag of chips from Costco that sells for $3.99 (it's the bag that never ends), and you've got yourself a meal. I can feed our family of six well, for a few bucks if that.

Just another great addition to our grad school diet.

Beans, Beans and More Beans

1. Soak beans in plenty of water for at least eight hours (just do it the night before or first thing in the morning)

2. Drain and put in a large stock pot. Then refill with water. Bring the beans and 1 tbsp. salt to boil. Then turn down the heat to a gentle simmer and cook until beans are tender. Follow the cooking directions for each type of bean listed. All recipes are for one pound of beans.

Black Beans- 4 qts. water, 1 1/2 - 2 hours
Cannellini Beans- 4 qts water, 1 - 1 1/4 hours
Great Northern Beans- 4 qts water, 1 - 1 1/4 hours
Pinto Beans- 4 qts water, 1 - 1 1/4 hours
Chickpeas- 4 qts water, 1 - 1 1/4 hours
Navy Beans- 4 qts water, 1 - 1 1/4 hours
Red Kidney Beans- 4 qts water, 1 - 1 1/4 hours
Black-Eyed Peas- 4 qts water, 1 - 1 1/4 hours

Enjoy!

For My Mom

2011-10-11T13:54:00.000-07:00

Today is my mom's 60th Birthday. I never really appreciated my mom enough until I was a mom myself. Too many lost years. My mom is the most giving, caring, generous, fun person. She's always giving me a couple of bucks, buying me a Coke, getting snacks for the kids or driving out to see us. She encourages me to do what is right and helps me to see the good in life.

I'm so thankful for my mom.

Mom, your grandchildren love you!! God has blessed you these past sixty years.

Happy 60th!!

Because My Brain Isn't Functioning

2011-10-10T19:54:00.000-07:00

I've been seeing the world in little snippets. Steve has been home two nights out of the last eight and so, as a result, I think I am becoming a bit brain-dead. Ha!! We're just mid-semester for A & M which means loooong, hard assignments and Steve had to attend a conference for work last week, so it's been busy. I also, for some reason, had the good fortune to visit our pediatrician's office three times for a total of five appointments (three were well-child checks). It's a good thing I like the guy! So I've also been running around like a crazy chicken. However, the really good news is that we got out with some of our bests this weekend for a little dinner. So incredibly yummy and recharging. And of course, I do not have a single picture of the event. Boo! Oh well.

But I don't think that I could write a cohesive post about really anything right now. The brain is mush. However, there are some things that have been swirling around in my mind as a result of some things I've been reading. I picked up Les Miserables after watching the movie this weekend. I read it in high school...700+ pages or so. I actually probably didn't really read it all in its entirety but rather skimmed some parts. It was still on my bookshelf so I decided to crack it open again since the story is one of the best ones I've ever heard. And I've had a lot of free time to myself in the evenings. Les Mis is such an amazing story of redemption and how the law, by itself, is a dead end-literally death. Incredible.

The Bishop, who ends up saving ValJean from re-imprisonment, even after ValJean had robbed him of his only earthly possessions that had any value-his silver and candlesticks, has some very choice things to say about life. These quotes totally spoke to my heart.

"We must never fear robbers or murderers. They are dangers from outside, small dangers. It is ourselves we have to fear. Prejudice is the real robber, and vice the real murderer. Why should we be troubled by a threat to our person or our pocket? What we have to beware of is the threat to our souls." Monseigneur Bienvenu, Les Miserables, Victor Hugo, pg. 42

Ummm...I'm always troubled by a threat to my person and my pocket. And I rarely have a look at the vice in my own heart which is far greater than any damage a real robber could do to me.

" 'Do not forget, do not ever forget, that you have promised me to use the money to make yourself an honest man.' ValJean, who did not recall having made any promise, was silent. The bishop had spoken the words slowly and deliberately. He concluded with a solemn emphasis: 'Jean Valjean, my brother, you no longer belong to what is evil but to what is good. I have bought your soul to save it from black thoughts and the spirit of perdition, and I give it to God.' "
Monseigneur Bienvenu, Les Miserables, Victor Hugo, pg. 111

I have nothing to say about this quote/scene. The beauty of this exchange is such a poignant reminder of God's lavish grace. I can't say much more than that.

These little snippets have been getting my brain, my heart and soul pointed in the right direction amidst the hustle and bustle of the last week or so. It's not been bad...just heavy...lots to carry. In my mind, that's what good literature, a good story, does. It speaks to the heart in such a dramatic and universal way and helps to peck away at the busyness of life to unearth what is really important. There's always hope and redemption. God's mercy is ever-present and ready for me to reach out and grab onto long after my brain is gone. And I have nothing to fear. God's will forever triumphs over all...good, evil, the wayward, the sinner, the pious and saved...even my trivial, little load here.

It always feels good to know, that He does triumph over all. Over all.

Better Than Botox

2011-10-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

Every woman wants to be beautiful. I don't care who they are or what they look like. There is an innate sense in the heart of every single woman that simply wants to take someone's breath away. It's how we're wired...how we were made.

When Steve and I had only been dating a few weeks, I distinctly remember a conversation we had where this whole scenario played out. I knew he liked me and wanted to date me. I knew that he thought I was smart, funny, and whatever else he thought at the time. But there was one thing lacking that hadn't been addressed. In all of our "Define the Relationship" talks, he hadn't ever told me that I was beautiful. And I had to know. Was I beautiful to him? Because if he just thought that I was a fun person to be with, that simply wasn't enough for me. I needed to know if I was beautiful to him. Who cares about anyone else. I needed to know what he thought.

So I finally got the courage to ask him. The look on his face was just priceless. He looked at me incredulously like it was a ridiculous question and responded, "Of course I do. Don't you already know that?" Um, no. That is just not something that can be assumed. It's important to every girl's heart. It's like saying "I love you." Women never tire from hearing they're beautiful. Nor do they tire of being told that they're loved. These truths are universal.

Now in my husband's defense, he is a male. And he is also a math nerd. So to him, the thought of bringing up the topic of beauty really never crossed his mind. He's a simple and logical guy. To him, he had already told me that he liked me so he thought I would glean from that the simple truth that he thought I was pretty. A (I like you) + B (I want to seriously date you) must = C (I think you are attractive)!!! He quickly learned that the two were not synonymous and that my feminine ways didn't add up like an equation. At least not the ones he was used to.

So deep inside every woman's heart is the desire to be beautiful...to someone. And it's not something that is satisfied once. It's a desire that continues to well up in a woman's heart as time goes on. It is an insatiable hole. One that can only be fully satisfied in Christ Himself. Yet, it is also a desire that does get fulfilled on many levels in a marriage relationship. God designed it that way.

However, as the years press on, a woman's whole body and look changes. The bearing of many children bring changes. The fatigue of the little years bring changes. Aging and wear on the body itself bring many changes. And as time goes on, the mantra being played over and over again, like a beating drum, is that beauty is only for the young. You have your one time of glory, when you're young and beautiful, and after that, be happy with your sagging body and tired eyes. Because that is your destiny.

But this is what I have been thinking about. I think we have it wrong. I think that some of the most beautiful women I know are not young. They are in the process of raising children or already have done so. The wear and tear on their body is evident as it is for everyone. But the beauty they have from years of selflessness and sanctification, give them a glow that no youth ever could.

They are stunning and they are not young. They are moms. Wives. Grandmas. Friends. And they are breathtaking.

They truly are beautiful.

While the world chases after wrinkle creams and botox treatments, these truly beautiful women have put in years of work with their families, neighbors and co-workers, laboring for others. Others. And instead of it taking away from their beauty, it has only added to it.

One of our favorite movies is Family Man. There is a scene, where Jack (Nicholas Cage) is in the middle of a glimpse into what life would've been like if he would have chosen love over his career and married his college sweetheart. In the glimpse, he is married to her. While out for their anniversary, he suddenly stares at his wife and says, "Wow. You are beautiful. In college you were pretty, but over the years, you have really grown into a beautiful woman." (para-phrased...not exact quote)

That's what I'm talking about. I'm not really sure how it works. I know it is counter-cultural and counter-intuitive even. But I see this idea all around me. I'm surrounded by beauty from the most unlikely candidates. Yet maybe our culture is just so distorted by what is beautiful anyway. We've lived for so long with fake, computer brushed images, that we have forgotten what real beauty is.

For whatever reason, I'm learning to see that beauty isn't simply for the young. Physical beauty may seem to be more perfect in youth. But time, faith and sacrifice intertwine in a woman's life to produce a beauty that lasts...indefinitely.

Doey

2011-10-04T13:55:00.000-07:00

Joshua has a best friend. His name is Doe. We're not really sure why. It just is his name. He has loved this stuffed elephant since he was a wee one. So much so that he recognizes any other stuffed animals that try and pretend to be his Doe. After recognizing how much Josh was attached to this silly little elephant, my mom went out and bought a replacement as a back-up. It was the exact same stuffed animal except not quite as loved on. He knew. He just knew it. The first time we gave it to him (he was just a year old people) he launched it out of his bed while yelling, "NO! My Doe!"

Wow.

I'll never forget that. If I ever need a good chuckle, I just remember Joshy chucking that stuffed animal out of his bed with all the gusto he could muster. The kid has a mind of his own and is quite capable in expressing it.

Over the years he started calling the replacement Doe, the "Other Doe". That Doe is not ever welcome in his bed (which is where Doe resides now). Ever. It's an imposter to him.

So he loves his Doe.

We're not sure where the name came from. All we can guess is that it was what came out of his mouth, in reference to his best friend, after he turned one, when he was learning to talk. We didn't name it for him. He did that all on his own. But it stuck. And over time, it even picked up a loving nick-name...Doey. So for the last year or so, that's what he calls it. Doey.

When it came time for Joshua to decide what cake he wanted for his birthday, he didn't skip a beat. He wanted a Doey Cake. Oh brother. How was I going to pull that off? I started looking for elephant cake pans and was just ready to order one, when an adorable little cake pan mysteriously showed up on my front porch.

After some investigating, I discovered that my brother's girlfriend had ordered it for him. I was so surprised and excited. But would it pass the test or just be another imposter? I knew I was in the clear when Joshua exclaimed, "Doey" upon first glance of the new cake pan.

Phew. That was close.

Now all I had to do was make it and frost it and get it to the party on time.

Of course, I wish I could've changed things a bit to make the ears more pronounced, etc...but I think it still turned out okay. It was a lot of fun (and stress while frosting it too but none of that matters now).

He loved it. And before I cut it, I made sure to have him say "good-bye" to it so that he wouldn't be sad when it was all gobbled up. Surprisingly, he was okay with it.

Probably because, in his heart of hearts, he knew...I've got my real Doey at home.

I'm not sure when he'll leave that Doey behind for good. But I've got a feeling, it could be quite some time. As for me, I think I'll miss him when he's finally laid to rest. He's played quite a role in our family over these last three years.

Believe me, that little elephant is infamous.

Just like his owner.

Because It's So Good

2011-10-03T14:20:00.000-07:00

I read this article last week and wanted to link to it then, but just never got around to it. I was reminded of it yet again today. The longer I am a parent (which still hasn't been very long) the more I want to end up "middle of the road". Not because I want to be wishy washy but because I want both grace and law to make up the foundation. If I'm all law, there is not love. If I'm all grace, there is not love either. Which is exactly what Rachael talks about. It's not easy to keep things balanced, but it's certainly worth shooting for.

Check it out. It's definitely worth a read.

Learning to Fail

2011-09-30T13:42:00.000-07:00

I have an oldest child who hates failure. Hates it. He's not excellent in every area but he tries to be. For instance, one of his buddies is a really fast runner. He beats Isaac nearly every time they race. It's hard for Isaac, but he keeps trying. He is persistent and will still race even though he knows he's not the fastest. This is good and I'm glad that he deals with these situations. But in school, that is where he does excel. School challenges him and fascinates him. And it keeps him on toes as he tries to learn more and more and get better and better at all the different subjects. He aims high and often isn't disappointed.

Although I am glad that he works really hard, it's also important for him to learn that we all make mistakes. We just can't be perfect all the time. Life isn't that way and people aren't build that way. We have to extend grace to ourselves and others.

This is where he struggles. Mostly with himself.

Yesterday he had a very difficult time with a spelling test. The last few weeks he had been getting 100%s on the pre-test which meant he didn't have to take the real test on Friday. He was really happy about that and worked hard at practicing. And these aren't easy words people. They're really hard. Where and were...on the same test! Psalm...island, they, does, brush, and so on. They don't all "follow the rules" as he will inform me, so there is a lot to remember. They're tough!! (We're glad it's tough though because it pushes him and he needs to be challenged!! All kids do!)

He's also still learning the whole process of taking a spelling test. The words aren't repeated at the end and he has to number, as well as write. To a little six-year-old who is still remembering how to write his letters perfectly, it's a lot to get done. So sometimes, it's easy to fall behind and miss a word. It happens at times at home when we practice, and occasionally it happens at school.

Yesterday's test was the review test. So even though he had seen all of the words before, there were 40 of them. That's a lot of remembering and numbering. When he got half way through the test, he had fallen a bit behind and missed a word. Once he did, tears began streaming down his face and he began to panic. Panic. He couldn't miss a word...that meant he wouldn't get 100%! The tears turned into sobs and his very sweet teacher tried to console him that it was just a practice and he'd get another chance the next day. But he couldn't pull it together. He had wanted to get them all right. Since it was the middle of the spelling test and after numerous attempts to get him to dry up his tears, she had to ask him to sit outside in the hall until he could calm down. He did calm down and came back to finish up. At that point though, he had missed quite a few.

When this story was relayed to Steve and me, I was so thankful for it. I know that sounds funny, but I was. First of all, the school Isaac goes to is so excellent so I knew that he was in good hands. I was thankful his teacher was there encouraging Isaac to ask God to help him gain control and praying for him. I was also thankful that he had experienced a failure in an area that he normally excels in. Since he already has that bent toward trying to be "perfect" it's so good for him to see that he's not and that it's okay. We all need grace. That's why Christ came in the first place.

Steve had a good talk with him last night and he re-took the test today. I could tell he was doing better when he climbed in the car and said, "Mom, my spelling test went great. I only missed two."

I want him to aim high because many times, he will succeed. His determination and drive are wonderful character traits to possess. But I also want him to know he will fail. And I want him to learn to walk himself through that whole process even when we're not there. Because like yesterday, we weren't around to coach him. He had to do it himself and so often in his life, he will have to learn to deal with his failures gracefully all on his own.

Often, when I'm thinking about an area that needs work with one of my kids, I'll add on ten to fifteen years and think to myself, "What would this (insert anything) look like at that point in their lives?" And I'm always compelled to be thankful for the lessons they are facing now so that when they are older, they will have at least have experience with those particular hardships, whatever they are.

For Isaac, it's good to learn to fail to see that failure in itself doesn't have to be the end. It's what he does with it that really matters. This situation turned out all right. I'm glad he was able to recover and do much better today.

However, it's not easy for me to see him fail either. As his mama, it's hard to watch!! But, I guess I can say that I'll be thankful when another situation shakes out like this again.

It'll be good for both of us.

Our Joshy is 3!

2011-09-27T15:10:00.000-07:00

Our Joshua David is three years old today. It's funny how I thought Isaac was old when he turned three. But to me, Joshua is still so small. Yet even though he is our littlest boy, he has got the biggest personality. His presence in our family is unmistakable and irreplaceable. And this is something we don't take for granted.

We almost lost him at birth. His last two birthdays have been bittersweet for me as I was still trying to process through what happened that crazy Saturday night. Yet God works in our hearts and moves us to where they need to be in His time. And my heart needed to be thankful. Three years later, I can smile, laugh and recognize what a rescue that night was, even though it was traumatic for me.

This morning I got to kneel on the very bathroom floor, that three years ago today, was covered in blood, to thank God that He had mercy and gave us our son. I don't know why He did. He doesn't always and this is something I am very aware of. Yet, for some reason God chose to intervene and save him and save me.

It was a perfect gift. Joshua is a perfect gift.

That's why he is Joshua..."Saved By The Lord."

Case in Point

2011-09-23T14:20:00.001-07:00

In order to juxtapose my last post with the heavily weighted male side of our house, this is what occurred last evening.

A little glimpse...

Right before bed, Caleb came up to me and gently but firmly dug his little chin into my arm. Before I could remind him he was being too rough with me, he looked at me fervently and said, "Mom, I'm ready to fight. I'm ready."

Instead of laughing in his face about the cuteness he was exuding (especially because he was oh.so.serious), I bit my lip and then said, "Well then, go find Dad. I'm sure he'd love to fight you."

And so he did.

All three of them did in fact.

Every weapon in the house was out. They were running, screaming, punching, kicking and wrestling around like crazy men. One of their favorite games is to throw stuffed animals at their Dad, which he promptly pelts them back with. It was absolute chaos. But it always is. It never fails that someone is crying for a minute because they got knocked around just a bit too much. That's usually when I give Steve "The Look" that basically says, "Did you have to tickle him that much?!!" Steve always "looks" back and says, "He's totally fine." And within a few seconds, they're back and ready for more.

At one point, Elliana was catching the energy for a bit so I sent her in to investigate just to see how she would handle it. She made it into the playroom where they were, saw the madness, threw me a little look and then side-stepped them every so carefully to go play with her kitchen. But not without giving her Da Da a little pat on the head first. That was her best shot people.

I about died laughing. And I couldn't believe this beautiful material was unfolding right in front of me, especially since I had just written about femininity.

The differences are just stark. And I love it.

Distinctly Feminine

2011-09-21T14:52:00.000-07:00

So as you all know, I have a lot of boys. Three of them to be exact. And they all came in order. So for five years or so, all we did was boy. Boy, boy, boy. And more boy.

When Elliana joined our family, I knew she would be different. But I wasn't quite sure how. The first year I noticed a few things, besides the obvious, that she did differently than the boys. One of those things is that she babbled. A lot. My boys babbled, but nothing like her. She babbled all.the.time. It was like she was trying to have a heart to heart while getting her diaper changed. The other thing I noticed is that she enjoyed eye contact much more as well. She wanted us to look at her and smile. She studied our faces and relished in our reactions. She needed it. She needed that security. Both of these differences made sense. She's a girl. She's talkative and relational. Duh!

They especially made sense to me because well, I am a female myself.

But now that she's been getting a bit older and moving into toddlerland, I have started to see even more, that who she is, really is how she is wired and not simply the result of "conditioning".

Do you remember Psych 101 where we were taught that our gender is merely a result of our conditioning? I remember sitting in the PAC lecture hall at Cal Poly listening to a professor drone on how our gender is conditioned into us by our parents and not by our biology. While there might be some conditioning going on, I believe (and did then as well) that essentially we were created male and female and that our differences were a result of original, creative wiring, not our environment. I remember thinking then it was all a bunch of bunk. Now I'm totally convinced.

If anything, this little girl has been "conditioned" to be boyish because we mostly have boy toys, she has three big brothers and her parents have been in boy mode for so long that half of the time we refer to her as "buddy." (Slowly we're getting more used to calling her "Miss" and using the pronoun "she").

Yet despite her "nurture", she is still explicitly girly. Let me give you a few examples. We have about five hundred books. We have maybe five that are girly. I can't tell you how she finds them. They're like a needle in a haystack. But she does. And she brings those ones out for me to read to her, time and time and time again.It amazes me. She's attracted to them. I didn't even remember we had them. She found them and she just knew...those are girl books and I want to read them!!

We have one little tiara. That's the extent of our girl dress ups for right now (it's only a matter of time). But when we put that simple tiara on her head, she lights up and smiles from ear to ear. She just KNOWS it's bling. She knows it makes her look beautiful. She innately knows it. And she wants it. I didn't show her that. I definitely don't go around wearing a tiara.

She got a kitchen for her for her birthday from both grandparents and us. That is the one toy she goes back to over and over and over again. Did I mention we have every kind of train, lego, car race track and building toy you could think of? Yet, she wants her kitchen, every time.

I've also noticed that her whole make-up emotionally is just really different. She's softer, gentler, more emotional and more timid. When she gets hurt, she cries for longer and wants to be held closer. She gets scared more easily and she gets her "feelings hurt" when she is told, "No." My boys never got their feelings hurt. They might have been mad when they were given a boundary, but they were never hurt about it.

The more she grows, the more distinctly feminine she becomes. Since I have so many wild reeds, it's really easy to spot a rose. Yet, her femininity complements her brothers tremendously. She brings out a gentleness in them they had never known before just by being herself.

By being distinctly feminine.

I'm starting to think all of those crazy psychologists need to spend one afternoon with my crew. If they did, they would have to throw all of their theories about gender out the window.

There's so much confusion in our day about male and female. But God really made it simple. We shouldn't try and be something we're not. It goes against our very nature. I am a female. My husband is a male. We were designed for different purposes and are wired totally differently. Together, we're an amazing picture of God's ultimate creativity and grace.

God made us different. And it's okay. In fact, it is truly beautiful.

We're so thankful that Elliana's presence reminds us about the softer side of life.

We love our Elliana.

A Good Reminder

2011-09-20T13:40:00.000-07:00

Saturday night we got to go celebrate one of our dear friends who just completed his Master's Degree. It was a beautiful night of friends, remembering the hardships, glorying in the triumphs and being thankful for God's provision along the way.

For us it was a good reminder.

This friend and other good friends before him as well, finished his Master's with a family in tow. And he did it well.

God extended grace. God provided for the many details. God gave the success earned.

It was truly a time of celebration and we were glad to be there.

As we drove away, I looked at Steve and said, "What a great reminder as we're almost halfway done with your Master's. We'll make it. It's going to continue to be difficult but we'll get there."

We're so thankful for our friends who have gone before us. Their finishing, their faithfulness is such an encouragement to us. At times it is such a steep climb, but God's grace will cover us.

We're thankful for accomplishments that deserve honor and celebration.

And we're thankful for what these accomplishments remind us of...God is faithful. God will provide. God will walk with us.

All in all, in light of yet another semester in full swing, it was timely.

It was a good reminder.

Boys Day Out

2011-09-19T14:14:00.000-07:00

We have shared season tickets to the 49ers for a few years now and this last Sunday, it was our turn to go to the game. In a crazy moment, we decided to take all of the boys since Joshy could still get in without a ticket. He gets left out of so many things still due to his age so, since we could bring him, we wanted to do it.

It was tons of fun.

We left Elliana with Grandma for the day and off we went.

Our version of tailgating was leftover pizza, chips and juice boxes. If you bring juice boxes to pretty much anything, you're an instant hero. So if you add chips to the equation, you can basically be transformed into a super hero in two seconds flat.

Just call us Mr. and Mrs. Incredible okay?!

Spittin' image, I know.

The only bummer about the game, besides the fact that they lost their ten point lead in the fourth quarter and then lost in overtime, was that it was extremely hot.

And I mean HOT!

It's never that hot at Candlestick (San Francisco for you out-of-towners)...ever.

But yesterday it was.

The boys (all of us rather) endured the heat for nearly three hours with the help of lemonade, ice cream and frequent head dousings with the water bottle and then we had to call it quits. It was just too hot.

We left right at the beginning of the Fourth Quarter.

But we missed the crazy traffic and didn't have to watch the heartbreaking loss at the end. In n Out always helps too at these moments.

I was just thankful to have my hands free of the baby to be able to hold hands and cuddle my boys.

Regardless of the heat and the loss, it truly was an excellent day.

PS: Andy Dollahite, I know that you were gloating as you thought of us poor 49er fans yesterday but just remember, you had to wear the 49er jersey all those years ago...we'll get you guys next time!!

A New Name

2011-09-16T13:47:00.000-07:00

Toward the end of summer, one of Steve's colleagues who is the cross country coach, asked me if I would help out with Monte Vista's cross country team. After getting over the initial shock of- is she really talking to ME?, I quickly concluded that there would be no possible way I could pull that off. The last thing I want to do to Steve on a regular basis, is dump all four children on him as soon as he walks in the door. Plus that would involve him coming home really early, which just isn't possible. Occasionally him taking the kids right after work needs to happen for various reasons but, it's not the best case scenario. I politely told her, "No." and thanked her for even thinking of me.

But here's a confession. I always wished I had run cross country in high school. However, I didn't. I was too timid to try and I was almost always involved in the fall play (plus various choirs as well) which gave me an easy out. Nevertheless, I really could've pulled it off if I tried, but I didn't and I've always kinda regretted that.

Not a huge regret. Just a little one.

So when she asked me to help, it piqued my interest for sure and I was intrigued.

When we went away a few weekends ago, Steve asked me if I had ever gotten back to her about helping. I told him, "Yeah. I told her 'No.' pretty quickly." He looked aghast and asked me right away why I had done that. After I explained, he said, "Well, I couldn't help everyday but, I'd be willing to do it once a week."

I was shocked....stunned. And then I grew excited.

We decided I would help on the same day that my mom comes (she comes once a week to help me) that way if Steve couldn't get home right away, she would be there. She's actually done most of the work so far, as Steve has had some things going on, but they're going to tag team it for the next few months. (I love you Mom!)

I've only been able to help out for a few weeks but I have been having the best time. The kids are so great and it's fun to get to know them a bit as we run. When the first one called me Coach Dauphin, I about keeled over and died it was just too funny!! But in all seriousness, it's really blessed me-a lot.

I think that for the last six years I've been so focused on what was before me-lots of kids, a house to run and a very handsome husband!! And that's the way it should've been. But lately, since I don't have a nursing baby, I've been able to venture out in very small ways here and there and it's been really fun. I'm not saying that I've been "oh so oppressed" and "now I finally get to do something for myself" (dripping sarcasm here). But I think I've just been able to really enjoy some extras here and there. And since it's been awhile, I've been able to be really thankful for the time.

So I guess I've got a new name to add to the list...Coach Dauphin. The sound of it just makes me howl.

It also makes me smile-quite a bit.

Simple

2011-09-12T13:51:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you but, I have a hard time just keeping things simple. Kinda like the magazine Real Simple. Have you ever read that? It basically masquerades as a manual to keep your life simple but really, all it does is make you restless because you don't have time to keep up with all of their "simple" decorating ideas or meal plans!

Most of the time my lack of simplicity manifests itself in the kitchen. We can't just have grilled cheese. We have to have grilled cheese and homemade tomato soup. For others it's in their crafting/decorating abilities. For me, I come up with a picture in my head about what something is supposed to be like and then, when things get difficult, I'll mow down anyone in my path to get it done. Just ask my husband. When I'm running around trying to get my vision a reality he says I'm "In Mode".

Some would euphemistically call that determination.

Others would realistically call it selfishness.

And if I'm being fair, I'd call it a little bit of both.

There are seasons of time that my love for the elaborate can be coddled and even celebrated a bit with fancy dinners and long-awaited house projects. And then there are times that I realize very quickly that if I don't pull out the Kraft Mac n Cheese, there will be no dinner and everyone will be starving. Usually at these moments, there is a wake-up call.

It's like God very politely taps me on the shoulder and says emphatically, "What are you doing?" To which I reply, "Ummm...making dinner?" He then responds with, "Oh, I see. Did you happen to notice the 10 people you ran over while doing so?" My look in response-huh?, says it all as my Ratatouille boils over in the background. He then whispers, "Simple my child. Simple."

Whatever! I can do it! See I can wash dishes with one hand, stir soup with another, keep the toddler from falling into the open oven with baking bread with one foot, and stomp on one of the million flies let in by older boys with the other foot. Ha! Look what I can conquer!! It's like the mommy equivalent of patting my head and rubbing my belly at the same time. Pure and utter coordination.

Although it's true that God made me to multi-task, He did not make me to plow through life. My husband and children especially do not need a lesson from me in rototilling either. Yet, sometimes, during these little years when I feel like I want to get back to "normal life", that is when I just want to sprint. Who cares who is in the way! I just want to go.

I've been getting hit with this lesson yet again (you'd think I'd have learned by now) as Steve has started back at Texas A & M. Things that were easy for him to pull off over the summer, just aren't that important now. And the more complicated I make things, the less likely everything will come out well. Even if the appearance is that all went well, I probably had to step on someone close to me to accomplish my goals. It's just not worth it.

Women are incredible in their talents and gifts. God has created us to take on so much and has given us the unique feminine strength to do it. He's also called us to work hard and make the best of what He's given us. But we love first. We love as He first loved us. That has to trump everything else. It's hard to be loving when you're literally knocking down others in an attempt to reach your goal. So much of learning to be a mother is figuring out how to wade upstream in the rapids without giving up. Yet, a wise, seasoned mother knows how to do this without losing anyone in the process. This is still something I have yet to master.

It's also difficult to remember that the things seeming to hold us back won't be around forever because the day in day out routine can seem monotonous. But those crooked smiles and grubby hands definitely won't be there for long. Our lives are but a breath. I'm sure, when my husband is out of grad school, heck even when the kids are grown, I'll have the time to make gourmet meals, train for marathons and volunteer to save the world. But for now, I better keep it simple.

I can aim for the beautiful, the perfect, and know I'll probably miss it. It doesn't mean I'm a failure. It just means that over the years I've become a realist....and even closer to becoming an optimist. For someone who has spent most of her life a pessimist, I think that's moving in the right direction.

This May Be the End of Me

2011-09-09T14:13:00.000-07:00

So, one of the activities that the two boys do play very well together, is what they call a "camp out". Oh, how nice. And as much as I do want to encourage them in that area, this activity drives me a bit bonkers. Nevertheless, most days, I do let them do it.

One of the reasons it drives me crazy is that Caleb spends all this time building the camp out and then Elliana spies it and wrecks it in five seconds flat. There's never a good space to do it and keep her out of it. So, we go through a cycle of Caleb building feverishly and Elliana leveling it. There are tears, frustration and then a determination to try again from Caleb. Joshua just laughs about the whole process in the carefree way that he does, and Elliana looks at me like, "What mom?" Hmmm......

But truth be told, it's their favorite game right now and has been since Isaac started school. And they work together while doing it. So even though they pull out nearly every blanket we own, are very inefficient at cleaning it up (requiring me to be like a drill sergeant), and there are multiple near meltdowns over the whole process, I still let them do it.

Am I insane?

Yup, I think this confirms it.

I've definitely got some screws loose.

Oh well, at least they're being friends.

Inseparable

2011-09-07T13:39:00.000-07:00

It was just one of those mornings you know. Everybody was fighting. Everyone was crying. There was hardly any listening going on and I was about to go hide in the bathroom. I'm not quite sure what triggered the madness. And really, it doesn't matter. Even if I was the perfect mom, these days would still come. I've seen mornings like that more times than I'd like to admit and I know they will continue as long as my children are under our roof. It's just life.

But amidst the unusual chaos (in my house there is usual chaos and unusual chaos), I did discover a little gem. I had been wanting to try this for awhile after hearing/reading about it somewhere. I don't even remember where. So if it's your idea...sorry for stealing it! But after many attempts to get the two boys to play nicely with one another, I decided to tie their hands together and make them travel as "one" for a period of time. All of my boys are different but, I want them to grow up to be best friends. So whatever it takes to encourage that, I'll do.

I can't tell you how well it worked! They were forced to work together. And really, they got along swimmingly (while being attached that is). I think one of the main pet peeves of all parents is sibling infighting. Isn't it just horrible?! Isaac and Caleb play pretty well together now. They don't butt heads a lot. But Joshua and Caleb are a whole different story. Somedays they will do great. But most days, there is a decent amount of fighting. There's just something about the dynamic of three boys that makes the second and third naturally at odds. I think it's a lack of a leader among other things. My prayer for them this year, while Isaac is at school, is that they'll become inseparable just like Isaac and Caleb are. That is really my prayer.

And I guess, today they were. Whether they liked it or not.

Yes, Please!

2011-09-06T14:24:00.000-07:00

So I've been searching for an excellent coffee cake recipe for what seems like ages now. And I had a few requirements. First and most importantly, it had to taste good. It had to have a moist cake and be better than Bisquick. Because really, Bisquick coffee cake is pretty decent so, if I was going to bother with a homemade one, it had to beat it. Secondly, the ingredients had to be ordinary stuff I'd have on hand. No fancy extras or tons of exotic nuts. The ingredient list had to be simple. And lastly, it had to be easy to whip together.

So I've tried many recipes over the years and they've just been okay. The cake was usually soggy, not moist, after being laden down with an overly crunchy topping. To be honest, most of them were just pretty lame. Good thing they went so well with coffee because something had to wash them down. I walked away from every recipe fairly disappointed.

Until this last weekend.

It was that time again...the monthly church potluck. Yet due to our church meeting a bit earlier now than before, the leadership decided to try something new and have everyone bring brunch food. I had planned scones but realized that they weren't going to make enough. So late Saturday night I went through my pantry and trusty old King Arthur Flour cookbook and finally settled on trying Crumb Coffeecake. I thought it'd be another bust but figured oh well, the teenage boys will eat it!

I started it at 9 pm and it was done baking a little before 10 pm. Not bad. And let me tell you, it was so good. I was surprised. I mean, seriously, I was surprised. I was really expecting it to be another disappointment. Coffee cake just isn't worth making unless it is excellent. But I think this recipe is worth it. It's a triple threat: it's easy to prepare, it has a simple ingredient list and tastes amazing.

Unfortunately I didn't take any pictures.

But try it and you'll know what I mean.

Crumb Coffeecake

Preheat oven to 350. Grease the preferred pan(s). 2 8-inch round cake pans or a 9 x 13 pan.

Crumb
2 1/2 cups flour
1 1/4 cups sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 cup butter (2 sticks), melted
1 tsp vanilla extract
3/4 tsp almond extract (I happen to have this but I know it's a more obscure ingredient-worth it though, I think)

Cake
1/2 cup butter (1 stick)
1 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup sour cream (can use lower fat version, cake just won't be as rich-you could even try vanilla yogurt)
2 cups flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 salt
1 tsp baking powder

For the crumb:
Whisk together all dry ingredients. Melt butter and add the extracts to it. Mix well. Then add butter mixture to the dry ingredients until it's mixed thoroughly. Set aside.

For the cake:
Cream the butter and sugar until very light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time and beat between additions. Scrape down bowl and then add vanilla and sour cream. Whisk all dry ingredients together in a medium bowl. Add to the butter/sour cream mixture, mixing until evenly combined. Pour the batter into the greased baking pan(s). Bake 20-25 minutes for the 8-inch rounds or 30-35 minutes for the 9 x 13. Bake until a tester inserted in the center comes out clean. Remove the cake from oven and let cool on pan.

I Never Knew

2011-08-31T14:49:00.000-07:00

About a month ago I heard of a couple we know who is getting a divorce after 35 years of marriage and three grown children. Thirty-five years. Take that in for a minute. One of them just up and decided that they didn't love their spouse anymore. Unbelievable. Totally blows my mind. I don't know this family well but, I have wanted, on many occasions to march up to their house and tell them the HUGE mistake they're making. I'm sure that would go over well:).

But seriously, for some reason, this has bothered me a lot because I think the fall-out from thirty-five years just must be so huge. I have also wondered what would make someone leave their spouse after so many years of marriage? How could one sell all that they had sown into their spouse and into their family for a grass is greener mentality? How could this really occur? What happened to love?

I remember very well the first time Steve told me that he loved me. He drove me up to the summit of the Santa Cruz mountains, danced with me under the stars and then looked me straight in the eye and said, "I've thought about this extensively and I can tell you with confidence that I love you. I love you. And I will love you. I've chosen you." I'll never forget it as long as I live. It was an incredibly wonderful and scary moment for me. You see, I didn't know what love was at all. I was scared to take that step. But despite my fears, I did. I answered "I love you too" back and as time went on, I realized that my profession wasn't the end but just the beginning. It was simply a promise of what was to come.

When I was dating Steve and in our early years of marriage, a very wise woman gave me some of the best insight into love and marriage I've ever heard. This is what she said. She told me that there are seasons. There are good seasons where all you feel is love. These seasons are smooth, easy and exciting. There are hard seasons when you don't understand each other and you don't feel like loving at all. There are also tragic seasons where you experience heartbreak and loss, and you mourn together. But the beauty of seasons is that you know that after the barren winter comes the glory of spring where the dead are raised back to life. Each season has its time. God does His redemptive work in every season and then things always cycle back around again. If you know this, you always have hope.

Best advice ever.

This is something that I have held onto over these last nine years. And I've seen her metaphor played out time and time and time again. There have been dark times but I've always known there will be morning...dawn is coming.

Marriage is no picnic. Steve and I have had many difficult moments when we've had to learn to work together, how to give love and respect, and how to care for one another. And there have been many times we've bailed...totally bailed on this and have had to regroup and try again. But it goes back to a choice. We don't ever "fall out of love". We simply ride the waves as the seasons go in and out and we commit to love no matter how we feel at the time. It goes back to those words..."I've chosen you to love." When that attitude is stacked up over many years it produces life, vitality and most of all it produces love. Over the years this love plunges to depths unknown.

Lately I've found myself saying to Steve, "I never knew. I never knew, when I told you that first time I loved you, that I could ever love someone as much as I love you now. I never knew." How could I? Those words were spoken in promise. They spoke of things to come. We committed to love and God made it grow. For only God can produce such incredible love between two people. He alone is the architect. He alone is the artist. I see His strokes of brilliance all over my marriage and the marriages of our friends and family.

I don't know what happened to that couple. There was obviously a break-down somewhere along the way. But I do know this, somewhere, one of them decided that the down season was just too long or too painful and that it would never get better. So instead of waiting for the resurrection (for God can resurrect anything!!) they gave up hope.

But there's always hope. Don't ever buy the lie that the season is too long. It will cycle back. Dawn will come. Don't give up.

Don't ever give up.

Remembering

2011-08-29T14:10:00.000-07:00

Welp, it's back to the real world. I'm baking bread, doing laundry and cleaning up messes. Yup, we're back to reality.

I'll spare you most of the details but the bottom line is this...we had the BEST time this weekend. I highly recommend it.

We ate out at amazing restaurants, we hiked for hours and talked, we snuggled and watched Jane Austen movies while drinking hot chocolate and coffee, we explored the coast, and we went and saw a movie...in a theater! (The Help is an incredible movie by the way) I know it's been ages!! Let me just say that movie popcorn is just unbeatable. There's nothing like it.

But most of all, we got to reconnect and just be us.

Because that's how it all started anyway.

You know, we fell in love eleven years ago as two young kids and now, somehow we've become "responsible" adults with four kids of our own!! It's hard to believe.

It was a long time coming. We haven't had a weekend like this since before children. But it was worth it...every single hour planning and every single penny spent.

It'll be awhile before we get an opportunity like that again and that's okay. We love our kids. We love to be with them. We love being parents. We don't resent our responsibilities and wish we could party it up all the time.

But every once in awhile, it's nice to get a glimpse of the past, to remember where we came from and how we've gotten here. And it's nice to be alone.

So here's to a great weekend. It wouldn't have been possible without Grandma and Grandpa Dauphin and Yia Ya and Pa Pou Georgatos. Thanks for taking all four kiddos so that we could have forty-eight hours straight to hold hands, look into each other's eyes and have uninterrupted conversations. We love you. You're our heroes!!

Grace

2011-08-26T16:27:00.000-07:00

Well folks, as of now, no one is throwing up, the kids are at the grandparents', and we are packed to go. Yesterday we had to cancel our first reservation to avoid a major last minute cancellation fee. But this morning we booked a great room at another Bed and Breakfast that I think we'll like even better.

So, we're off. Thanks to those of you who prayed for me and my silly disappointment. There definitely are worse things that could've happened. Yet even in our silliness, God still shows us grace-abundant grace.

As long as no one else gets sick, we're going to be gone for two whole days...hiking, eating good food, sleeping and BEING QUIET!

It's been too long.

God showed us major grace in still allowing us to go. He didn't have to and I know it.

So I'm going to enjoy it!

Disappointment

2011-08-25T13:55:00.001-07:00

I almost pulled it off. It was supposed to be a surprise. And if you knew me and you knew my husband, you'd know that surprises just don't happen around here. That's simply because my husband is a great guesser and I just can't keep anything from him.

It all started a few months ago when he would whimsically say to me, "Let's get out of here just us. When can we go away for a few days?" To which I'd laugh and say, "Yeah right. We have four little kids for somebody to watch now. In your dreams. Maybe in another year or so when the littles are a bit older." But after a few times of him inquiring, I started thinking that maybe I shouldn't laugh it off as an impossibility. Maybe now was time. And even though it'd be difficult to figure out, that he was worth the trouble.

So I called in the troops, (grandparents on both sides who live ten minutes apart) and they very graciously agreed to watch all four of our monkeys for 24 hours each so that we could get two full days away. And then I swore them all to secrecy and was determined Steve would not find out the surprise this time.

That was over two months ago.

In the meantime, I researched bed and breakfasts in one of our favorite little local towns, looked up hiking trails, saved money for dinners out from cookie sales and kept my darn mouth shut. I did this for weeks.

Elliana was already losing interest in nursing so, I took the opportunity over a few months to wean her so that we could really be by ourselves. Steve has had to share me with either pregnancy or a pump for the last seven years when we've been able to get away and so this time I wanted to be free if possible.

Everything was going along swimmingly and I only had one more day to get through until early this morning when Joshua woke up crying. "Mommy, my tummy hurts!" I thought he was just hungry since he'd refused dinner the night before (he doesn't like tortellini so he didn't get dinner). I gave him a cracker and sent him back to bed. Meanwhile, I got up and went for a run. When I came home, Steve was with him and I saw it...the infamous bucket. And I knew, he was throwing up.

I took one look at the bucket and burst into tears. Steve was totally taken aback. I'm not a crier (ask any of my close friends and they'll tell you so) and so Steve was really shocked I was crying over throw up. What he didn't know was that I knew this was going to put a huge wrench in the plans I had so carefully made over the last two months. I couldn't help it. I just bawled.

When I got myself together, I told him the whole thing. He just sat there stunned. I kept blubbering, "I wanted to bless you. You weren't supposed to find out like this. Now it's all ruined." Real positive...yeah I know. Meanwhile, my poor little baby is laying next to our bed sick. Sometimes, we just can't see past ourselves huh?

As Steve and I talked through the situation including my major disappointment as to how it unraveled and the possibility of us cancelling, he reminded me yet again of God's sovereignty and how we deal with disappointment (after he held me...don't worry he didn't start out "fixing it"). It's like we always tell our kids. We plan and God secures our steps. Things happen in life. They can be super disappointing but we have to be thankful. And ultimately, if our kids are sick, they're our responsibility. That's part of being a parent...no one else needs to take that. It's on us even when it's totally inconvenient. Even when it ruins a potentially incredible weekend away.

I knew my kids were watching-especially Isaac. He was totally tuned in to me being upset. So I had to talk with him about it. I explained that I was disappointed that we might not be able to go away that weekend. But that I'd try and change my heart to be thankful that God had given me so much.

Whenever I think about it though, I still tear up. I am totally and completely disappointed in the whole thing. If Joshua gets better and no one else is sick tomorrow, we still might be able to go. But I had really wanted to surprise Steve. I had already pictured the look on his face when he came home from work discovering that all of the children were gone. It was going to be so perfect.

Yet sometimes, what I think is perfect just isn't what God has for me. This realization causes disappointment and often it causes pain. Yet for whatever reason, God moves for my good. I believe that. And really, this disappointment, although big at the moment to me, is really very small.

Super small.

We can go another weekend.

I can be "true" to my disappointed feelings and have a good cry. But then I need to cast them aside, pick myself up and move on.

Being a mother has taught me this. And this situation is just another lesson in the grand scheme. There will be many others.

So if we don't get to go, I'll be teary but will try my best to be thankful. And if we do get to go, I'll be very pleasantly surprised.

Not totally the surprise I was looking for but hey....at least there will be a surprise somewhere in there.

Either way, God will help me deal with my unmet expectations and life will simply continue to roll on. It always does. And I'm thankful for it.

The End of an Era

2011-08-24T13:57:00.000-07:00

Just yesterday I officially weaned Elliana. She's 14 months. Right around a year old, I knew she was losing interest. So, as a result, I went ahead and let her drop feedings (at the time she still nursed at least seven times a day) letting go as we went. It's taken a few months but it's finally done.

The reason this is monumental for me is that I have been either pregnant or nursing for the last seven years.

Seven years...without a single break.

I got pregnant with Isaac in November 2004 and it's nearly September 2011. So yeah, seven years (minus two months for all you exactos out there).

I don't say that to complain. I really haven't minded it. In fact, I didn't start out with a love for nursing. I did it simply because it was free food for my baby. But the years went on, and the more children we had, the more I loved it. And the more I didn't want to give it up.

And it also turned out that each time I got pregnant again, I was always still nursing and would continue for another few months until the baby had weaned himself. I had a pretty good cycle going...pregnancy, nursing, pregnancy again, wean over time...and the cycle went on like that for yup, seven years. We didn't plan it that way. It just happened.

But now that cycle has been broken. I weaned Elliana and I'm not pregnant again. I knew the time would come. It's not that monumental. And really, there are so many freeing things about weaning.

Yet what I've realized is that a lot of my identity has been wrapped up in pregnancy, nursing and infants for so long now. And although it's wonderful to be done without another impending pregnancy, I do know that I'm nearing the end-the end of my childbearing years.

Lord willing we'll have one more. But after that, the chances of a sixth are pretty slim. If you remember, I've had some major complications. I had a c-section with my first due to him being breech at term. I VBAC'd with my second (so thankful for that!!) and attempted a VBAC with my third and ended up with a ruptured uterus (which only happens 1 % of the time and it's even more rare after a successful VBAC). We're lucky Joshua is alive with no complications. So Elliana was a scheduled c-section.

I've had three c-sections. There's only so much my body can bear. My uterus is already compromised. I'm super thankful I've been able to have four healthy children.

So I'm nearing the end and I've been contemplating this a lot. Have I enjoyed it enough? Have I celebrated the beauty of infancy and the miracle of life enough or have I just wished it over due to fatigue and frustration? How would I do things differently if I were given one more chance to bear another precious gift?

It's just what I've been thinking about. Nothing special. It's just been on my mind.

Yesterday morning though, God gave me a gift. Normally I would've been nursing Elliana while helping boys with uniforms and strapping on ties. But instead, Elle woke up a little earlier than the boys and so she and I sat on the couch with the sunlight spilling through the window and I nursed her for the last time.

I knew it would be the last time. Yet I didn't anticipate that quiet moment with her. And in that moment, I was able to play with her curls, drink her in and hold her close in order to burn the image of her so little into my memory forever.

It was a precious time. It was a gift.

And now, I'm excited to see what God brings in these coming years. It might be the end of an era but it's not the end. There's so much more than these little years. Yet as much as I've wanted them to just be over at times (due to fatigue, frustration, etc...) even more than that, I want to remember them and cherish them.

God has taught me so much about my own selfishness and greed, and how to sacrifice and live joyfully through these years. No job, situation or relationship could have taught me so much.

So I'll remember them as I look forward and thank God that He gave them to me. And as new things come, I'll try and take the biggest lesson with me as I go...relax, and enjoy the ride.

Brother Down

2011-08-23T14:03:00.000-07:00

My husband loves to play music. Among his various hobbies, he has figured out over the years how to play a few different instruments one of them being the bass guitar. Yet, one of the things he loves the most about playing music is getting the opportunity to play with others...especially those that are better than himself. It gives him the chance to learn so much and it's fun.

A few years ago Steve was asked to play bass for a benefit concert here in our hometown. The group that played for the concert is called Brother Down. And the concert itself actually benefited one of the group's members named Chris. At the time, Chris was in the process of adopting a little boy from Ethiopia. That benefit concert helped raise funds to bring his son home. The little boy is almost three now and the exact same age as our Joshua. Brother Down resurrected themselves specifically for this benefit concert.

But Brother Down had been around before that. Many years ago now, Chris and his buddy Jordan formed Brother Down and wrote all of their music. Yet, at the time of the concert, it had been awhile since they played due to them needing to support their families and work a normal day job.

Chris is a great friend and also fellow teacher of Steve's. At the time of the concert, they were in need of a bassist and drummer. So they asked Steve and our other pal Devin to fill in. Steve absolutely loved playing with them, especially because their music is SO good. And over the last few years, he's played with them in a few different settings for fun. So although he definitely wasn't part of the original Brother Down, he got to get in on some of their fun from time to time.

This last summer Steve mentioned that they were going to record a Psalm or two. I had no idea why. I just thought it was just for kicks. And truly, they threw it together at the last minute due to managing all of their schedules (it was the end of school for three of them and the other one works nights). Yet, yesterday I finally found out why they had gone to the trouble. Evidently, they entered their Psalms into a Psalm Off put on by Canon Press.

Yes, I was totally clueless to this somehow.

And guess what? They won!!

Yesterday I went to my computer screen to check my email and saw someone had posted that Brother Down had won the contest. I thought to myself, "What contest?!" I couldn't believe it.

So even though Steve's not a part of the original band or anything, he's still had the wonderful opportunity to play with and learn from these very talented musicians. And now it looks like he will possibly get to record a CD of Psalms. How fun is that?

Check it out here:

Psalm Off Results

You can click on the links and listen to the music. It's actually pretty darn good if I do say so myself. Psalm 75 is my favorite.

All right Brother Down!!

PS: Brother Down has music on iTunes too if you like their music. They're a pretty amazing group if you ask me!

Who's Watching?

2011-08-21T14:15:00.000-07:00

Oftentimes I forget that I live in the world. I'm so focused on my own little microcosm that I can hardly see anything else around me. Current events fly by without a notice. It's enough for me to take care of the husband and little people He's put into my life. And that's okay. Really. But recently, God has been reminding me that people around me are watching and I need to be aware.

It started with a conversation I had with my kids' pediatrician a few months back. I already blogged about that but truthfully, that conversation really struck me and got me thinking--who's watching? Of course my immediate family is and I better be genuine. There's nothing like a parent who loves to be kind to everyone around them except those who are closest to them. That's hypocrisy of the worst kind and it's not being a light. So of course I have to remember that my kids are watching. But for some reason, that's not what is difficult for me to remember.

What's hard for me to keep in mind is that others on the "outside" are watching. And I don't mean friends. I just mean people. What do they see? What am I emanating? Who do I look like? Do I look like Nikki or do I look like Christ?

There have been a few situations lately that have really brought this to light. One occurred a couple of weeks ago at the car dealership where we get our Pilot maintained. I have an ongoing, cordial relationship with the guy who deals with our car. I treat him with respect and he always takes care of me. There was a mix-up that ended up leaving me and the four kids stranded for almost two hours. Of course I wanted to be mad at him and he really expected me to be. As a result he came armed with all sorts of excuses about how it wasn't his fault. But, somehow God reminded me of that conversation with our ped and in the moment, with His grace, I changed gears and immediately thought, "He's watching...He knows I'm a Christian. How will I respond?"

Another reminder came this week. I started selling cookies and brownies again since school is back in session. You might remember that what started as a simple little stand last year to get extra cash during grad school, turned into a bustling little business. And this business brought with it the bonus of getting to know students and parents. I LOVE this part of the whole deal. Seeing a bunch of them back after the summer was wonderful. It was fun to catch up and see their faces shine when they talked about the sports they were participating in this fall.

But what was even more wonderful was what occurred on Friday night. There was a knock on our door at 9 o'clock and there stood two of Steve's former students and avid cookie clients. One of them was on his way off to college and wanted to say goodbye. We invited them in and had such a wonderful, candid conversation that took on a life of its own. Somehow marriage, love, divorce and God all got brought up at our little kitchen table with two teenage boys on the brink of making lifelong decisions. One of them straight up asked, "How do you know when you love someone? How do you know it will last?" Can anyone say Golden Opportunity???!!! I don't know if they'll remember anything from our conversation. But what I do know, is that it reminded me again...who's watching?

I often don't think I can do much beside take care of my family and live this little life God has given me. And really I can't. But God can take this insignificant little life and do whatever He wants to do. If I can just love my family like He wants me to, others will see it. That's the Light he's talking about. Often I think I need to go out into the world and do big things. And that doesn't include what I already do on an every day basis.

But big things are happening all the time as I move that never-ending pile of laundry and wipe bottoms. I'm small. I'm insignificant. But when I obey and work unto the Lord, God can do big things through my obedience. Why? Because His love is so different from the world for He's overcome the world.

If you're at home raising kids, you may think that there's not much else going on outside your own little world. But really, think about it! There's so many ways this can occur. I have friends who have built into young women God has brought across their path just by inviting them into their life to get a front row seat...to see the failures and the triumphs and how God brings beauty from all things. I also have friends who simply have the neighborhood at their house every afternoon and the kids they come in contact with get to see a family that loves one another despite the difficulties we all face in life.

This is where it's at. Knowing Jesus and loving Him is so utterly opposed to what is out there in the world that it's like a huge glare in the face of evil. It's bright. It's noticeable and it's beautiful!

Just love the ones God has given you and then be ready for others to be spectating.

What about you? Who's watching?

Some Firsts and a Slain Dragon

2011-08-16T14:01:00.001-07:00

School started for my family this week. What that means is that Steve and Isaac went back full-time yesterday and Caleb had his first day of Junior Scholars (preschool) today. Isaac was super excited that he gets to go to school all day (six hours to be exact...thank you little Mathy) and of course the husband was ready as well. They both slipped back into their routine fairly easily.

For Caleb, the transition was not so easy and once again, I found myself scratching my head trying to figure out how best to encourage him. I never had to deal with Isaac being afraid-ever. But Caleb is his own person with strengths and weaknesses and for him, school was terrifying. It's not that school itself was horrible. It was the idea of the unknown. I knew that once he went and saw how great it was, he'd be won.

But that's what it is with him and everything...he has to be won.

If he decides against something he puts all of his gusto, force, spirit and fight into HATING it. He's very black and white and likes to live in absolutes. Oftentimes we'll hear him saying, "I'll never (emphasis on never) go to that playground because it has a black slide there" or something to that affect. But then if you get him to see that the slide is fun and his fear is trying to trick him into not having fun, that slide will become his best friend and he will ride it until we say it's time to go home.

He just has to be won.

So I knew that he'd decided against school because it was unknown and that he'd have to be won. I wasn't sure how it would happen but figured we'd just play it by ear. The first part didn't go so well. I had Elliana on my back and Curious George Joshua at my side. Meanwhile Caleb wouldn't look at anyone and merely cried.

We went out to the car and I explained two things to him that were nonnegotiable:
1. He was going to school even if he was afraid.
2. I was eventually going to go home and he couldn't come with me.

After our little chat, we went back in with tears still streaming down his face. He was determined to hate it but what he didn't know was that I was even more determined for him to see the good and the fun in learning. I knew that once he got a taste of how sweet it was going to be, he'd be sold. As we arrived, they were singing the Hello Song. I saw him perk up just a little bit. Last year, at his little neighborhood preschool class, they sang the Hello Song and he loved it. When he sat down, they sang to him.

That did it.

He started to smile. The tears stopped and a minute later he was standing in line with everyone else. I never quite know what the magic formula will be causing him to take that giant leap over his fears but, when it happens, its effects are pretty immediate.

The littles and I stayed in the foyer for awhile to make sure he was past being upset. He glanced back at me every couple of minutes to make sure I was still there. Each time, his grin grew wider and when I saw his eyes sparkling, I knew it was okay for us to go. I gently told him I was on my way home and would see him soon. He just smiled.

When he got home at lunch today I asked him about school. He's a man of few words but what I got was this, "It was great Mom! Just GREAT! And I listened. I'm NOT pretending."

I knew it. I knew he'd love it. He just had to be won.

That kid is a walking mystery sometimes. He's so brave and tough yet so afraid at the same time. Steve always says he has to learn to fight what's bad not what's good. At this age, that's really hard for him to discern. Oftentimes, we have to be that lens for him. In other words, don't fight school. Fight your fears about school. If we can steer his fight in the right direction, he's going to make it.

He will have many more battles and dragons to fight over his lifetime. But it looks like the Be Afraid of School dragon has been slain. It took some familiarity, some courage and a bunch of God's grace.

Phew....glad that one's over. It was a little too close for my comfort. But that's what parenting Caleb does for me. It gets me close to that line where I don't know what to do, or how to best handle the situation and he gets me thinking outside the box again and again and again. God uses him to make us into better parents. Both Steve and I have such an affection for him because we seriously have to fight so hard for him sometimes!! We're determined not to let him go his own way because that way leads to death!! We love him too much.

We adore him, are so proud of him and are glad that this dragon is defeated. Especially since I'm sure it won't be long before we'll be fighting another one.

Camping 2011

2011-08-15T13:59:00.000-07:00

There's just so much that I didn't get to write about that happened toward the end of our summer here. One of the main things we got to do was take a really fun camping trip with Steve's side of the family. We had the perfect campsites. They were free of poison oak, had a huge amount of open space for the boys to run around in, were located right across from the bathrooms and just a short walk to Grandma and Grandpa's campsite.

We were right next to all of the cousins too so the boys all played from sun up to sun down. I think it was the best they've all played together and I really felt that in another year, it'd be even more relaxing for all of us adults. Bring it.

We took a couple of short hikes with all the kids, went to the General Store for ice cream, ate s'mores and got very dirty. By the way, I don't know why I bring multiple sets of clothes camping. I pretty much just end up wearing the same clothes nearly the entire time. Come on...does anyone else feel me? Anyhow...maybe that was too much information. One afternoon all of us girls got out on a really beautiful hike through the redwoods. It's rare that we can do that without children running around so it was a lot of fun and nice to enjoy the relative quiet.

The next afternoon Steve and I got to take a hike up to Pine Mountain which in itself was very fun and memorable for us. Right before we started dating over 11 years ago now, we hiked that very trail in the middle of the night, with the Camp Hammer 2000 staff (we camped very close to Camp Hammer).

When we hiked it eleven years ago, we made it to the top just in time for the sunrise. I remember Steve coming alongside of me, checking in to see if I was "okay". Ha ha. I was just fine thank you very much. A few days later, we finally had our first DTR (Define The Relationship) talk and the rest is history. We'd liked each other for months while attending Cal Poly but didn't officially start dating until that summer.

So not only was it really fun for us to get off by ourselves for two hours or so that afternoon, but it was special for us to remember that hike. We literally hadn't been up there since. God's done so much over these last eleven years. It was so humbling to realize. It made us remember with thankfulness.

I also got to catch up with a running buddy who lives/works up at Camp Hammer. She was such an encouragement to me every single summer I worked up at camp (three total) and God used her tremendously in those formative years. It was fun to reconnect with her. It was truly a blessing.

All in all, it was incredible time playing games, talking around the campfire and being together. And it ended with a much anticipated trip to Foster's Freeze just down the mountain (another one of our "date" spots many years ago) to get the boys their first dipped cones. So fun. We look forward to next year very much!!

For My Boys

2011-08-12T14:54:00.000-07:00

My favorite man in the whole world turned 32 today. And if that wasn't good enough, my oldest son turned 6. Every year, when this day rolls around, I'm reminded of God's goodness to me. First of all, I have been given a wonderful, faithful husband. And through our union, God has given us a beloved son (and then another and another...and then a daughter...ha ha).

So today, for my boys, I put together yet another video commemorating them and the bond they have shared since Isaac's birth. For all Isaac has ever wanted to do is turn out like his Dad (all of them do). And if you're asking me, he couldn't want to be like a better person.

Happy Birthday you two. I love you more than anything or anyone. May God bless you both with many more years. And may you walk faithfully, trusting in the Lord with all of your hearts.

That Thursday

2011-08-11T09:09:00.001-07:00

I remember. It was a Thursday exactly six years ago. We'd finally secured a permanent job for the husband just two weeks prior and had gotten a "new" car given to us by a generous family in our church after our others had been totaled-one by a drunk driver hit-and-run, the other by a careless out of town driver. We had packed our apartment and were ready to move on my husband's 26th birthday-the next day.

Six years ago I was on the brink of motherhood. I was bursting with child, scared, moving to a new town, tired from packing every single belonging we owned into boxes and unsure of what the future would hold.

And then at my last doctor's visit that very Thursday, I found out that the precious little boy inside had turned around. As in, he flipped footling breech and I would not be able to have the natural birth I had really wanted.

And on that Thursday six years ago, the reality of impending parenthood hit hard as we were told he'd be coming via c-section the next morning. His Daddy's birthday. Our moving day. My in-law's anniversary. Now our little one's birthday.

A few tears sprang to my eyes this morning as I remembered those moments. So much has happened since that day.

We grew from two to three then. Now we are six.

We were afraid. We were broken. We were vulnerable and unsure of how things would turn out. But amidst these fears, God gave us the grace needed to do what needed to be done in the face of our fears.

He gave us the courage to be brave. Not that we weren't afraid of all of the changes but, that we could face the unknown and keep walking. That's bravery anyway. It's not the absence of fear. It's the walking forward amidst and even despite fears.

Brave.

Birth never goes how you think it will. Everyone has their story. That was just ours. But looking back, there was so much grace, so much beauty and so much love that surrounded us. God was with us and He cared for us.

It will always be a major milestone for Steve and me. One that we will never forget. And in the end, we beheld Isaac...our Isaac, born into the world at a crazy time, in an unexpected way. God wove it all together and it was beautiful.

His beauty always is.

Six years ago today God helped us be brave. And the next day we received one of our greatest gifts...our first son. Our laughter. Our joy. Our light. Our gift.

Our Isaac.

Ouch!!

2011-08-10T14:27:00.000-07:00

Awwww...isn't he cute?

To the untrained eye, he looks so harmless. Yet, these little suckers are evil; just plain evil!! A crafty little creature, just like this one, decided to make its home in our......

wait for it........

ENGINE!

Yup, that's right. Right in our awesome, high powered, Honda Pilot. And wreaking havoc is an understatement of what this little mouse did to our wiring.

So, in exchange for one mouse "home", we got a $550 bill. OUCH!

When I found out how much it would be to fix the "problem" I wanted to hyperventilate. But then I was reminded of three very important things.

1. God is sovereign. He knew all about that mouse and He allowed him to make his home there. Oh well. Deal with it.

2. It's a small problem in comparison to many things. All it did was cost us money. That's it...and then it was fixed. I can't be upset about that.

3. In past years, like our first few years married, we never would've been able to handle a repair like that. It would've wiped us out financially. So I'm thankful that we've grown up enough and have become more stable to be able to take care of these types of things. It's truly a blessing. Really it is.

Yet I still strongly dislike those little guys. I used to feel bad if we caught a mouse and had to kill it. But after this, they're officially on my bad list. Die little suckers...die!! I'm seeking revenge for my car!!

When I get to heaven, I'm going to ask God why He made rodents. I don't think I've ever been able to think of a good reason they're around. But then again, I am puny and know nothing so...maybe it'll be better if I don't ask.

Either way, the mouse is gone, the car is back up and running smoothly, and I have wheels. I think in the end, I have a lot to be thankful for.

Meeting Mickey-Part 2

2011-08-08T13:39:00.001-07:00

Whew! It's been a whirlwind the last few weeks. But I'm happy to say that our kitchen is put back to rights, we had a blast camping with family and we even got to go on an extended date up in San Francisco (of which I have no pics because I forgot our camera) last Friday. Since I've been on very limited blogging, I've got a lot to catch up on.

I wanted to say some other things about our fabulous trip to Disneyland though that ended up making our trip great. The first thing was that we had extra adults with us. If you have really little ones who can't ride the bigger rides, then it makes it difficult to get on any big rides with the older kids who are tall enough because an adult has to ride with each one. We weren't sure what our older boys would think about the big rides but they ended up riding them all and loving them. Who knew?

We also utilized the Fast Pass/Parent Swap strategy. Now I married a mathy and so the wheels of his brain started turning and he quickly figured out how to maximize our ride power with the Parent Swap strategy. The truth of the matter is this...if we would've had to wait two hours in line to get on Space Mountain, we just plain wouldn't have done it. But with a Fastpass, you come back at your appointed time and are on the ride in less than fifteen minutes. Yet you are limited to one Fastpass every two hours on each ticket you have. So this took a little finagling.

Early on the second day we discovered that Disney offers a Parent Swap option. What it means is this: if one parent has to stay with small children, the other parent waits in line (or shows up with his fastpass), tells the ride attendant he wants to do a parent swap; then he gets a pass, rides the ride and then goes and gets his spouse (or anyone, a grandparent, uncle, friend, etc..) who gets right on the ride without waiting. And with the Parent Swap option, Steve discovered that you really can get two Fastpasses for the "price" of one. It's like a tongue-twister...Fastpass, Parent Swap...Does that even make sense? It didn't totally make sense to me but, it seemed to work every time. What it equaled was more big ride opportunities for everybody.

You never know what your older kids will want to ride. We didn't think ours (who aren't very old) would want anything to do with the roller coasters. But they loved them. They loved all of them except they didn't care for Space Mountain-which was the first one they rode. Luckily that didn't ruin it for them. It really could've gone either way. Yet after that, Splash Mountain, Star Tours, Big Thunder Mountain railroad...they were game. So like I said, you never really know.

What do you think? You think they liked Space Mountain? Ha ha ha! They said it was way too fast for them. I think they didn't like it that it was so dark. By the way, this is all my family in one car...both of my brothers, my brother's girlfriend, Steve, myself and my Dad. My mom and sister-in-law were with the little ones. This picture totally cracks me up!!

So having extra adults around, utilizing the Parent Swap and maximizing the Fastpass made it possible for us to still get a lot of bang for our buck when it came to rides. The kids did a lot of other rides too like Autopia, the Rockets, the Merry Go Round, Pirates of the Caribbean, Buzz Light Year and other littler rides. All in all, the thrill of Disneyland did not disappoint and it was a magical time for all...including all of us grown-ups who really are just kids at heart. It's hard not to be nostalgic about such a beautiful, happy and fun place. I'm thankful we got to visit this summer and look forward to more trips in the future!

On Vacation

2011-08-06T21:26:00.001-07:00

Well, I'm so sorry but...we've been on vacation for the last two weeks....first Disneyland/visiting some of our best friends from Cal Poly, a mini reprieve complicated by the house remodeling, and then a family camping trip. It's back to the real world on Monday, when I will assume my blogging skills with reckless abandon. Truly, I've missed it. But we've been having a ball.

Hope you're all doing well and that there have been many chocolate and marshmallows in your diet. Ah, the delights of summer.

Ta ta!

Meetin' Mickey-Part 1

2011-07-28T21:01:00.000-07:00

Well, to set the record straight, we didn't exactly meet Mickey but we did just about everything else! We arrived in LA Friday evening after a long day trip. We couldn't leave until noon due to Steve finishing up his summer school class and turning in his grades so, that put us right in the middle of LA traffic upon our arrival. Luckily, we didn't hit any traffic until the last twenty miles. Yet sadly, the last twenty miles took us two hours!! I don't envy LA dwellers one single bit!

After some direction mishaps on my part, we pulled into a little Italian restaurant, Carolina's, down the street from our hotel where we met my parents for dinner. My Dad had done some "research" while waiting for us and he recommended this place. It proved to be a gem. When we arrived, it was 8 o'clock and we were all STARVING! My parents had ordered pizzas ahead of time for us and seriously held a table for an hour until we got there. They are saints I tell you. We devoured that pizza. It was the best pizza we have ever eaten. They also happened to have nearly 300 beers for sale. And since my husband is a beer connoisseur (aka Beer Snob as I call him), he felt totally blessed to go and find one of his favorite beers and enjoy it after an extremely long drive of baby screaming (for nearly the last two hours) and intense stop-and-go LA traffic. That night he won Best Dad/Husband of the Year Award for staying so calm. Seriously, it was some of his best stuff!

After our feast of amazing pizza, we all piled back into our Pilot (my parents included since they were smart and flew down yet as a result, were carless) which was a feat in itself since our car was packed with all of our stuff. I wish I would've gotten a picture of both of my parents sitting side by side in the front seat. They were adorable. But even more adorable was that my mom was so proud of herself that she got the seat beat buckled to ensure their safety! We were a total crack-up. Good thing we were just blocks from our hotel! My older brother and his family arrived right after us and the party began-which I will write more about next post.

Now for those of you who care to know some of the planning details of our trip, here is some of what we learned. Before we left, we made some strategic decisions that could've gone either way. Either they'd work out and we'd "look" brilliant or they wouldn't work out and we'd be up a creek. And I must say, my husband made the final calls on these things, and his reasoning did him credit. He was right. You see, brilliant!! Ha ha! For the most part, they worked out well and made our trip efficient and overall very reasonably priced.

Yet first and foremost, my parents picked up our hotel which made the whole thing possible in the first place. Without their generosity, we wouldn't have even been able to think about going. My Dad also got a decent discount on tickets from his work so that helped too. But after that, we knew we had to try and save cash because a Disneyland trip can drain you fast and most of all unknowingly. You know, a little churro here, a few ice creams there and before you know it, you're visiting every single ATM trying to keep up with the frozen lemonade demand coming from your kiddos. Plus, we have six mouths to feed which can add up quickly, if you know what I mean.

So we set the record straight from the beginning. We told the kids we would be having PB and J for lunch and that they'd get dinner and a treat from Disneyland later. One of our friends told us that was their strategy with their kids and it ended up working like a charm. So in turn, we brought a TON of food with us and it proved to be the best option. Not only does Disneyland let you bring in whatever food you want but we also found a way to refill our water bottles at the various water fountains so that we weren't buying $4 waters every twenty minutes (it was VERY hot). Buying dinner each day and a treat for the kids ended up making the trip really reasonable.

Secondly, we also decided to bring our double BOB. There were a lot of people there and the BOB is big so we were a bit wary-especially me. However, we know it turns on a dime and can weave through any crowd like a champ-- plus it has a ton of storage room. So we lugged it down with us. Therefore, when it came down to it, we had a stroller that could house all four kids if we needed (two can sit on the front) and all of our food. When we saw the strollers Disneyland offered for a decent fee, we were really stoked we brought our own stroller. That decision alone provided so much and saved us $50. It held all of our stuff and even gave the older boys a chance to rest from walking from time to time.

Lastly, we decided to walk to and from our hotel each day saving on parking, shuttle rides and adding to our overall exercise. We were a decent distance from the park (about two miles to the park entrance) but it proved to be a really fun option for us. I threw Elliana on my back into the ERGO and Steve pushed the three boys in the stroller. We were all hot and sweaty by the time we arrived and felt like we could eat ice cream that day without "paying for it!" Truthfully, we did it mostly for the exercise and not wanting to deal with our big stroller on a shuttle. Yet, it ended up being a really fun time of talking, laughing and prepping for the day. The only downside was that I was stuck at Disneyland. I felt like it was a really long walk to go back to the hotel just for naps so the two littles simply had to deal with it and try and sleep in the stroller. Joshy never did and merely skipped naps. That doesn't go over so well for him but, he survived. Both of them did just fine. And at the end of the day we were definitely tired but, we had to get back somehow...so it wasn't too bad to walk back.

These couple of things saved us and really added to the overall success of the trip. When you're paying beaucoup de bucks for the tickets, you really want the trip to be worth your while. And it was. It was an incredible time with family and an overall wonderful time. To be honest, we're already looking forward to next time.

Rollin' Up My Sleeves

2011-07-27T20:10:00.000-07:00

We just returned from a fabulous family vacation. Seriously, we had a blast visiting Disneyland and our dearest friends, the Dollahites. There will be more on that later. But for today, we arrived home this afternoon and already I've got some major work to do. While we were gone, our kitchen floor was gutted due to a leak....apparently this leak has been going on for years. At least they covered up the major hole. I'm not sure how I would've handled that if it was still there. I think my kids would've thought it was a great "hiding spot" for hide-and-go-seek. Yikes!

Some other things were fixed in our house as well that caused upheaval in other rooms. I'm super thankful that most of the work was done while we were gone but things are pretty dirty from the construction (a slight film of dust is all over the entire house) and our kitchen is not really functional.

Ha!! Although it's tempting to hyperventilate, the truth of the matter is, hyperventilating doesn't help anyone and in the end, it only makes me look like an idiot. The best thing to do is laugh...and then get to work. We'll figure it out.

Tomorrow, we've got to pack a bunch of stuff up, including a complete emptying of our fridge, move furniture and get things ready for the floor to be redone on Friday. And on Friday, we've got to go somewhere for the day...Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa...are you home? Will you let us in?!! I've also got a ton of laundry to do after being on the road for the last five days and we need to unload the car.

Did I mention we're going camping on Sunday with the fam?

Well, the good news is that if I didn't have tons of work to do, I'd be pretty bored. I need stuff like this to keep me out of trouble...as long as I've got a Coke Zero and some Safeway Light Moose Tracks ice cream in my future, I can keep on keeping on! It's the important stuff in life you know.

I'm sure you all have tons of projects keeping you busy that involve pattering little feet, chubby cheeks, dirty bottoms and piles of laundry too. It's just the way life is. We can't see it as drudgery. Keeping busy serving others, keeps our hearts on the right track and our minds off of our ourselves. Believe me, I have NO problem thinking about myself and my own needs all.the.time.

It's good work. Faithful work. With great reward.

Speaking of rewards...see you all later...it's ice cream time.

Check you folks later...

2011-07-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

We're headed to the happiest place on earth.

Nine Years Ago...

2011-07-20T15:01:00.000-07:00

I married an incredible man who I love more than my whole life.

Steve,

The mark of a good husband can always be seen in the strength of his wife. Is she flourishing? Is she happy? Is she free to create and move and love? There is no question, that under your care, I have grown into the woman I am today. That has been God's blessing to me. Without you in my life, I would've stayed put...unwavering...unchanging and afraid. Yet, your love has moved me. Your courage has given me strength. And your belief in me has helped me scale every mountain, your hand in mine, with our eyes turned upward, filled with hope and grace. God has used you to make me grow through hardship and your encouragement has helped me blossom into my gifts. And I am grateful.

You carry all five of us on your shoulders and that can be heavy--definitely good but heavy. Over the last year I've watched you bear your load with grace, humility, diligence and care. And amidst you carrying us, I've witnessed how God has carried you.

You are my beloved and there is no other.

Happy Nine Years. May God give us many more. May we grow old together and see our children's children. I love you.

Brothers

2011-07-16T14:52:00.000-07:00

They didn't end up being on the same team but that's okay. They still got a quiet moment together today on third base.

And we were thankful that our second had no tears today. Last week spooked him a bit. But today he was determined to fight his fear and try again. He walked right up, made a great hit and ran the bases. Sometimes it's hard to know when to push and when to let them go but this time...it was the best thing to make him try again. If he wouldn't have tried, he wouldn't have made it home. Daddy was there to give him a high five.

Loving little league.

The Good Life

2011-07-11T20:15:00.000-07:00

So it's summer and I've been neglecting my blog a bit. Just a bit. But I have good reason.

We've been swimming.

We've been hiking in the redwoods.

We've been going crazy in the sand and running in the waves.

We've been playing with cousins and running around with friends.

And every single night, we've been soaking up the waning sun by eating outside.

The garden is going crazy.

As in...I-don't-know-what-to-do-with-the-abundance-coming-down-the-pike-CRAZY! And tomatoes are on the horizon-lots of them.

Snap peas are exploding!! These snap peas were a totally unexpected crop...we kept thinking they were just a mess of nothingness. Yet today we discovered a plethora of the cute, little pea pods all over the place.

Summer squash is going to be coming out my ears!

We've been roasting marshmallows-big, fat, juicy ones; getting sticky, sandy, tired, and playing outside until we drop.

We've been telling stories about princes and princesses who triumph over evil and slay the dragons.

We've been getting dirty...very dirty and not bathing enough to make up for it. Shhhhh...don't tell on me.

Daddy is home a lot and he and I have been sitting around the chimenia talking about life until it's time for bed.

So I've been neglecting the blog...just a bit.

I'll be back.

But I've got to soak this in while I can. It's just a season and it's too short.

Soon school will be back in session and summer will be a distant memory.

So I'm relishing every single second.

This is the good life.

As American as Apple Pie

2011-07-07T14:08:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder why God blessed us with so many boys. We don't have the genes for it. What I mean is, we're both short. Really short. I'm just under 5 feet and Steve is 5' 7" on a "good day". So it's inevitable-all of our boys are going to have to go through life short. For girls, it's okay-even socially acceptable. But for boys, it's a totally different story.

From the get-go I've had to deal with many well meant comments that just came out all wrong. "Oh, what a tiny little thing. He is just SO light." And that's a tame one. There's not a comment I haven't heard about how little my boys are. Trust me, when you're trying to raise boys to be tough and strong, it can be a difficult. After much frustration regarding others' comments about my boys' size, I've finally learned to laugh about it a bit and respond with, "Nobody's surprised with how 'small' they are." I really don't have much else to say.

This is something that I have worried about-a lot. I have probably put waaayyy too much worry into it because, truthfully, God didn't make a mistake. They are who they are and He made them that way! But one of the things that I've worried about is the boys playing sports. It's very likely that they will be either the smallest or among the smallest on their teams and for some of them, sports in general may not come so easily.

Steve on the other hand, isn't worried a bit. We've had talks about it numerous times and every single time he reminds me that he's already been through it and will know how to guide them. He's already been the smallest. He's already had to work ten times harder than the bigger boys. And he's convinced it built a tremendous amount of character into him. As long as they don't give up and go hard, he doesn't care how good they are. Right, I get that and I agree.

Yet regardless, I still worry. Blah!

However, over the last couple of months, I've gotten a different glimpse than I expected into the whole sports scene as I've watched my oldest fall absolutely head over heels in love with our nation's favorite pastime-baseball. Baseball is about as good as it gets. It's as American as apple pie.

He's fallen hard. As in, he goes outside and practices numerous times a day. And he listens to the Giants play on the radio as much as we'll allow. He knows all the players, some of their stats, all the rules of the game and will recount exciting plays to me. One of his favorite things to do in the morning is ask his Dad first thing if the Giants won the night before while he was sleeping. Because you see, he knew the score when he went to bed...but the game wasn't over yet.

He just loves the game.

As I watch him practice and practice and practice, I can see that he wants to do his best. And my heart breaks knowing that he probably won't ever be the all star athlete he aspires to be. But when I hear how much he loves the game, it reminds me that it's not necessarily about being the best.

It's about being able to play. And being a part of something bigger that is important and fun. He and his brothers will always have their size stacked against them but, their Dad is right. They're going to learn a lot. And they will fail. Their mama just has to learn to deal with it. Failing isn't bad in itself. It's what we do with our failures and how we learn to turn them into something positive.

I think I have more to learn as I watch my sons enter the sports arena. We're not going to be a super sports family. But we will have them play one sport a year probably. And I know already that it will be hard for me. Yet just as God will be building their character as they play, He'll be building mine as well when I watch them succeed and fail.

We start t-ball this weekend. You think this guy is going to like it? Is there even a question?

This is why we play sports regardless of size or talent. It's for the love of the game. And really, learning to love sports is an incredible gift we can impart to our boys whether they're amazing at it or not. It builds character, encourages hard work and creates memories.

Take me out to the ball game. I'm getting ready.

Ursula and The Individual

2011-07-05T14:01:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, I took our Pilot in for its regularly scheduled maintenance. It worked out that my mother-in-law offered to have the boys that morning so, it was just me and the little girl. I was going to get a ride home but then through a certain turn of events, I ended up waiting for the car. Elliana and I did our share of walking around and we smiled at other customers waiting too. And then we met Ursula.

Ursula. She was a soft-spoken, gentle, older woman with bright blue eyes and sandy blonde hair. When she opened her mouth, I knew she was not American, as she had just a slight accent. But I couldn't quite place her ethnicity beyond European.

Then after a bit of chatting, I mentioned that Elliana was my youngest of four and only girl. She then smiled, eyes twinkling, that she was the seventh girl in her family and that the last one was a boy. She definitely had me beat. And I burst out laughing.

She then went on to explain that she'd grown up in Germany during World War 2 and that her father had fought in the German army. The more she talked, the more fascinated I became with this living relic of history. How incredible to meet someone who lived through that time. But as the time ticked by and she told me about her family, what stuck with me even more than an eye witness to an incredibly horrific time in history, was what she had to say about her family.

Don't get me wrong. She was respectful. But she talked about how her mother did her best but was very strict and didn't show much love. When you're number seven out of eight, that can't be a good thing. I can imagine her mother had quite a bit to carry at the time. And she even said that. She said she understood where her mother came from now with a husband away at war, terrifying things going on in the government and lots of children underfoot. But regardless, I could see, in the recesses of her eyes, that those younger years still stuck by her into her old age.
Not in bitterness, but in memories.

I didn't have very long with Ursula but the time I did have was really rich. We talked of her son, her grandchildren and how long she had been in the United States (50 years). And what I took from that conversation really resonated with me.

Here's what I was reminded of-my children are individuals. They don't understand that I have a handful of them. They all want me to be excited about their train track, cheer on their first steps and cuddle them to sleep. I can't simply treat them as a group. I have to remember that they are each little souls with hopes, dreams and a need for love.

Having a lot of children makes this slightly more difficult but definitely NOT impossible. I don't think that having a lot of children is a bad thing. Or that the only way to combat this problem is to have very few. On the contrary! I think having a bunch of kids is great (if I didn't, I'd be in trouble!). But, I must be balanced. I must remember. They won't always get the attention they want when they want it but I'm responsible, as their mommy, to see that they're ALL cared for. If they come at me en masse, it's my job to sort it out. They're individuals. They don't need to do it. It's my problem-not theirs. Rachel Jankovic talks about this in her book, Loving the Little Years. I would quote it but...I've given away all my copies and need to order more!! This conversation made her thoughts on the subject more real for me.

I think this is one of the major pitfalls I face as a mother to a lot of littles...forgetting that they're individuals. I see them as one huge blob coming to put their pudgy little hands all over me at once. And my "touching quotient" can be superseded long before they've had their fill!! But they just see themselves, coming up to their mommy who they love, merely trying to give her a hug or a head butt (ha ha-boys).

I've got to have the capacity to deal with it gracefully.

And that can only come through God's grace to me.

Unfortunately, I'll probably never see Ursula again. I would've loved to just chat with her for a time. But her story and her life, left an unforgettable impression on my heart. So much so that I'm thankful I ended up waiting a few extra hours at the dealership for the car.

It's amazing what God can teach you through others. Now I can only pray to keep that lesson in mind when they're all coming at me with muddy hands and feet, wet clothes from "watering" and sloppy kisses.

Take a deep breath...embrace the madness, kiss them all and then let it go.

Let Your Light So Shine

2011-06-29T14:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had an interesting experience at my pediatrician's office that I'm still trying to process through a bit. We were going in for Elliana's one year check-up and all of the usual happened. First of all, whenever I schlep my little troop around town we get a lot of attention. It doesn't bother me one bit. I mean, who can blame the onlookers? I've got four kids five and under. We are quite a sight. Plus the fact that I have three boys and then a girl ALWAYS makes for stares and comments. For the most part, people are really kind and even funny at times.

So back to yesterday. Everything was going along totally normal. Elliana's check-up was pretty brief and simple. After she had been checked out, our pediatrician, who I have a great relationship with, started shooting the breeze with me a bit since we had so much time left in our appointment. He asked me if I had ever seen the show Modern Family. I answered, "No." And so he proceeded to tell me all about it and how it is the funniest show to him because the families described on the show are exactly who he sees in his office every day.

Okay.....but then, he went on to say that our family is not the typical modern family and wanted to know why and what we were doing differently. He said, "Yet you're not like all of them. Tell me, why are you so different?" I was totally caught off guard. My first thought was to scream, "Because we're Christians!" But I know he already knows that. At least I think he does. He knows my husband teaches at a Christian school. And we've talked about church before. But he was really inquisitive. And I was all of the sudden stage fright. He went on and on about how we have a lot of kids but still seem to like them, are still married and seem to all enjoy one another which is pretty different than the typical family that walks into his office on a daily basis.

As he went on, I didn't know what to say. The first thing out of my mouth was that I had a good husband and that he sets the tone for our home. He then responded with, "I bet you do. That does make sense." After that, all I could do was just murmur that God had blessed us and that we try and do what's right (and fail miserably all the time). But I did feel like a failure when I walked out of there. Why didn't I have the courage to preach the gospel to our pediatrician right then and there? Why didn't I have a tract or something ready for him and his questions? Wouldn't that be what a good Christian would do? What kind of a Christian am I? I can't take the credit for anything going well in our family. It's all God's grace. And there's so much we need to work on that he doesn't see. He only sees us for small bits of time. And to be fair, I always make sure my kids have a snack to help them sit through the time!!

Afterward, we went through the rest of the appointment getting shots and getting Elliana's year old lab work done. During that time various other people came up to me with comments about all of my boys and the "little princess". One lady, with a twinkle in her eye said, "Four kids!! Good for you! I had five ya know." That comment made me smile.

On the way home, we got stuck in some major traffic and I had time to mull over the whole thing a bit more. I regretted not giving God more credit and lamented not speaking up more about my faith. As I was chiding myself, God whispered gently to my heart and a light bulb went off in my head. Sometimes I don't feel like I can do much for the gospel. I can't necessarily pick up and go overseas. I'm not preaching on the street corner or helping out at different ministries. My ministry is my husband, my kids and my home and that's fine with me! But, God reminded me, that what He's given me in my children and marriage is a literal banner of light, shouting at this hurting world. Wherever we go, His light can be shone just by us being His-by us being Christians.

I always thought we were the normal ones. I guess since I'm around so many people that have strong marriages and great kids, I tend to forget about the hurting world around me. There's so much brokenness. So much! I can't fix it. But I can take my kids to the store with me and we can show kindness. Sure someone might throw a tantrum but how do I handle it? There are people watching!! That doesn't mean I just do things "right" to put on a show-no, that's hypocrisy. But am I showing Christ to my kids in how I respond? Am I truly loving them with Christ's love? Because if I am, others will see HIM! And they'll know it's different.

God has given all of us different ways to shine His light. For some it is being a missionary to some unreached peoples. Others show love by visiting shut-ins or prisons. Others reach out to at-risk youth or help in various ministries. For me, right now, building into my family is the best way for Christ to shine. Our pastor always says that the world will be won for Christ around the dinner table.

I've always believed that. But I'm really starting to see how true that is. If we can just love our families, who can deny Him? It's SO drastically different from the world, it can't be us? It must be something SO MUCH greater!!

Be encouraged. Love your family. Pour into them all of who you are. And be in the world. In doing so, God will use your ordinary, every day life to broadcast to the world His shining light!

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." Matthew 5:16

The Littlest is One

2011-06-27T15:19:00.000-07:00

Elliana turned 1 on Saturday! Last week was super busy with two family birthdays and party preparations, thus my utter lack of blogging. But I'm going to make up for it today with a crazy long video!! Ha ha!

Anyhow, I just learned how to create a video/slide show through youtube and it was just too much fun! Since I was just learning, I practiced with Elliana's first year photos.

Hope you enjoy it.

Elliana, we love you so much and are so thankful God blessed us with you, a daughter. Although we have no idea how to raise a girl, we look forward to the many lessons God has for us in these coming years.

Your smile and presence lights up our whole family. The Lord Has Heard...God Has Answered and He has given us a daughter.

Like a Bed and Breakfast

2011-06-21T10:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I got an amazing surprise. I got a new bed! Here's what happened.

When we got married, in college, we took whatever free furniture we could get our hands on. And we were grateful let me tell you. Our first bed sat on the ground and we didn't mind it at all. But when we got the opportunity to get some new mattresses from my parents a few years ago, we decided that we were outgrowing our newlywed, random status and that we should to go for it. We never got an actual bed and so the mattresses sat on a simple metal frame for the last couple of years. It was okay. We were content with it. Really we were.

But, if I'm being honest, I've always dreamed of a certain bed. One that if I had all the money in the world, would be perfect. I have always wanted a wooden, four poster bed.

They are just so romantic and beautiful. But I knew we couldn't afford to drop a chunk simply for me to get the bed I wanted. It just wasn't practical. So I kept dreaming.

One day, I told a lady who lives close by, my dreams of having a four poster bed and she said that when she went to yard sales, she'd look for one for me. She is the queen of decorating and has an eye for beautiful things for a reasonable price. I thought she might be successful but I didn't get my hopes up.

That was two years ago.

About a month ago she mentioned that she still hadn't found a bed for me but that she hadn't given up. I had forgotten all about it and thought she probably wouldn't find one-ever.

Then yesterday I had a horrible migraine. I sloshed through the day waiting until I could lay down at naptime to get some relief. I haven't had a migraine like that-ever. Anyhow, in the midst of my misery, she came by to tell me the good news.

She had found the bed at a yard sale over the weekend and she just wanted to bless me with it.

And bless me she did. I can't stop staring at it.

I can't believe it's mine.

I had a coverlet I had bought off of a friend from church and it looks just perfect with the bed. It looked a little silly on our plain mattresses. But with the bed, it's the perfect, finishing touch.

It's like sleeping at a Bed and Breakfast. Every night.

Can you tell I'm excited?

Sometimes God just blesses us beyond what we were ever expecting.

Yesterday, He reminded me again just how much He cares for us...even in the silly little pleasures like a new, dream bed.

I'm thankful. Really, really thankful.

The Mission of Motherhood and a Theology Lesson

2011-06-17T14:53:00.000-07:00

This article popped up on John Piper's website and it was just so good. So I thought I'd re-post it for you all. It's so easy to forget that we have a ready and willing audience to the gospel right in front of us every second of the day. We don't have to travel to Timbuktu to find some unreached peoples...they're playing, eating, fighting, crying or asleep in the other room.

And also for your viewing pleasure...the other day, Caleb came triumphantly into my room during his rest time to show me his new masterpiece. After congratulating him on a job well done with the color by numbers part, I was about to ask him about the person up in the sky. But before I could, he responded very proudly, "Mom, that's God. And look, He's got his socks and shoes on." Well, good thing. Because if He didn't, His feet might get cold. It's always so funny to see our childrens' perceptions of God.

I just rolled.

Keepin' it real.

Happy Friday!

It's That Time Again

2011-06-15T13:40:00.000-07:00

Things have been a bit dreary here lately due to various sicknesses. So when a lull in the action hit the other night, in the hopes of lifting some spirits (including our own), Steve and I jumped on the opportunity to have our first jammy ride of the season.

It was a hit-for sure. Cheesy smiles all around. And lots of sticky hands and faces. Sounds about right.

Since it was the first one in awhile, we thought we'd get it on video. Don't laugh at my haggard appearance-vanity almost kept me from posting the video but, then I threw caution to the wind. Remember, at this point, it had been many days of sickness (post camping too) and not a lot of upkeep if you, ahem, know what I mean.

But it was a lot of fun! Jammy rides in the summer are simply THE BEST! If you haven't tried one yet, DO IT! Who doesn't love prolonging bedtime and getting ice cream instead? Okay, I'm off my soapbox now.

But seriously, it is fun and a great way to lift spirits that are waning. Hope you're all having a great week full of fun summer activities. Until next time...

I'm Not Strong

2011-06-13T13:43:00.000-07:00

A lot of times I think I'm strong. I'm young. I can be fast. My mind processes things quickly. And my health is currently in order.

It's easy to get lost in this mindset and forget that my youth is fading, my strength is dwindling and my memory is quickly flying out the window.

I'm not strong.

The older I get, the more I realize this truth.

This last weekend, I was reminded yet again, how weak I really am. We've been a regular infirmary around here. At the end of our wonderful camping trip last week with friends, Isaac came down with a fever. And then pretty quickly everyone else trickled in with their own ailments.

Miss Elliana has had some sort of bug that has given her the runs for eight days now. No matter of rice, bananas, bread or cheese will plug her up. She's happy as a clam with no other symptoms but she's a literal mess. Today's "present" on the floor has only been one of many over the last week. So I've been worried about her. She's so small. Is she okay? How do I know when enough is enough? How am I to care for her? A quick call to the nurse only yielded a "wait and see" approach. Okay...how long do you let a little baby go like that? As I pondered my daughter's condition, I tried to be reasonable but fear of the unknown, of my lack of knowledge, would seep in. I want her to just be better. I don't want to wait for it. I want her to be okay. I don't want to watch her be sick. I'm not strong.

Then there is Isaac. He had a fever. It came down promptly. But then he had the worst sort of stomach cramping we've ever seen in any of our kids. He was screaming and writhing in pain over a period of hours. He's our oldest. He can talk expressively. He can describe his symptoms. Yet I was so scared and had no idea how to help him. When you child tells you that it hurts to breathe, and you don't know why, it's scary. Especially when you know that child isn't your King of Drama. That's when it is helpful for Dad to take over and head off to Urgent Care since it is nighttime. I don't cry often. But as I set to the task Steve had given me when he left (he gave me a job to try and keep my mind occupied), tears streamed down my face. And I realized again. I'm not strong. I don't know how to care for Isaac. What is the wisest course of action? How long does one wait? When does a parent act and when does a parent just watch?

Of course Joshua and Caleb were not to be outdone. They both registered decent fevers on Saturday. No biggie. I had the same ailment as all of them so I was walking around achy and feverish but, not too bad. Tylenol helped. But Sunday, just as I was catching my breath from Isaac's little scare (which they had no idea what was wrong with him by the way-just some weird virus) Joshy decided to ramp his fever up to 105. It was too soon to give him medicine again and so we were dunking him in the bath, trying to calm him down and then we finally decided to give him more ibuprofen. The process repeated itself on into the early morning as we battled this very high fever. By morning his fever had broken. And I thought to myself, as I rocked him in the twilight, "I'm not strong. I'm achy, tired and mentally fried. I am not strong."

All moms experience times like this. I have many times before and will many times after. It's nothing new. But, I forget my own frailty so easily. I get caught up in all the things I can juggle, how well I can generally get things running that I forget, in the end, I can't do it all. The weight gets to be too great. I have such a responsibility to care for all of these little souls yet I can hardly remember who got what medicine at what time!! Yet with that responsibility also comes a realization that I must trust in One who is greater than me. And so, in response, I open my hands and give up.

He made each little body. He knows the intricacies of their precious souls. And He loves them even more than me. As much as I love them, it is like nothing compared to His love.

As the hours ticked by last night with little Joshua by my side, I worried, I prayed and I talked with God reminding Him that I'm not strong. That I'm at the end of myself. That I have no wisdom left.

Then He reminded me that He is strong. That He will bear this very little, tiny burden (for it really is a small one) and that all of this chaos is His work in me. And I am not to go through the years raising my children without my job totally and radically turning me inside out.

"These are children, they are eternal souls. They are not supposed to be easy. They are not supposed to pass through our homes like quiet guests. They are supposed to be the unmaking and the making of us. They are supposed to challenge us and change us." Rachel Jankovic, The Strength of the Ox.

I'm not strong. I'm not wise. I'm not loving. I'm not good.

So it is Christ and His strength, His wisdom, His love and His goodness in me that will shine through. Without it, it's simply impossible...totally and completely impossible.

Time

2011-06-08T14:32:00.000-07:00

"What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun." Ecclesiastes 1:9

So the little girl took her first steps last week. And this week, she's decided she likes it quite a lot. If she wants to, she can go for a couple of feet and slowly toddle toward us. So adorable.

When I sit to think about it, this year has flown. It seems like just a minute ago that I was here...the night before she came. Just an aside: isn't it always incredible to look back at pictures of yourself at the end of pregnancy and see just how big your belly is! I always feel big, but to see it, WOW! How do we ever walk at the end? Very slowly! Anyhow though...

And now, she's on her own two feet.

Soon she'll be tearing through the house.

Somebody please make it stop.

My littlest baby is getting older. The next thing I know, she'll be asking for the keys to the car.

I know we want them to grow up. But with each successive child I've had, I've wanted them to stay little for just a tad longer each time-to savor them, drink in their baby smell, kiss their chubby cheeks and thighs, and hear them belly laugh just one more time. I've learned to enjoy the process that much more and mostly that is because I've come to realize, over time, how it all passes away rather quickly. So instead of wishing it away, I try to internalize it as much as possible.

But there is so much joy in the growing though. It is good and God designed life that way. I do want my kids to grow up and mature. I do want them to learn how to love God and those around them. I do want them to grow in wisdom and knowledge over time.

Recently we've been talking with our oldest about time and how when you're little it goes really slow. But that when you're older, it goes so fast. Too fast. Along these same lines, our pastor has been preaching right through Ecclesiastes and the futility of life, how God has given us our lives to enjoy His blessings but also how, without Him, it is utterly meaningless.

It's a total oxymoron. Only God, who is wisdom Himself, can sort it out. But even so, here's my little stab in the dark.

Her first steps-memorable, fun, exciting-yet utterly meaningless. All of my other kids' accomplishments, totally meaningless. Nothing is new under the sun. Nothing.

Yet because they're meaningless in the grand scheme, in turn, we as the parents, get to enjoy them. That's God's blessing to us. If we learn to see them as meaningless, then we will worship the One who made them to do these amazing things and not our kids in themselves.

"There is no remembrance of former things, nor will there be any remembrance of later things yet to be among those who come after...I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind." Ecclesiastes 1:11, 14

Not that there isn't hope...just not hope in ourselves and our own accomplishments because in the end, they're all forgotten.

So once again, pondering things I don't really understand. I probably don't even make sense. But this I do know-this life doesn't really mean much apart from Christ. And the time He's given us is fleeting. So I better enjoy it.

As all of my kids continue to grow, I need to keep this perspective. Enjoy them; be proud of them; relish in their strengths; encourage them in their weaknesses. But remember who made them and how short the time really is.

Good Stuff

2011-06-07T14:44:00.000-07:00

I ran across a couple of great posts on teaching children to love the standard. This whole idea really resonates with me because I tend to be rigid. That is my bent. I have to learn to parent in this way and often that means going against the grain and my own first insticts. You should check them out. I hope they encourage you as much as they have me.

Standards

Loving the Standard

One Rule

And just a disclaimer: if you think the writer is advocating for crazy, disobedient, "free" kids, then you've missed the point. You might want to read them again.

So Much More

2011-06-03T14:13:00.000-07:00

So it's been six years since my husband started teaching. We've seen a lot of students come and go. I've known a few. In my defense, there have been four children born during that six years! But mostly, I've stayed holed up in my little circle of friends just trying to maintain my own life. There have been some great students over the years that Steve has really gotten to know but I haven't ever really been a part of that. I've always just considered the students "his job" and not really much of my concern.

Until this year.

Once I started doing the cookie stand, I began to notice and get to know the students who would come by as regulars. While they would pick out a brownie, I had the opportunity to ask how their sports were going, or the play, or whatever it was they were involved in. Some girls would stop and chat for awhile. I had a few open up a bit as the year went on. And whenever I'd be on campus with my children, I'd always see a few students who would smile and wave at me shyly. And as this started to happen, I realized that all this time, I've lived across the street from the school and yet I still hadn't engaged much of my heart into Steve's work. The more I got to know students, the more my heart began to love them. And I realized, there is so much I can do to support and come alongside them even though I'm not their teacher. I can smile at these kids. I can laugh with them. I can be a friend.

But most importantly, I can pray for them.

Our family had a recent experience, where we found out that another family had been caring for our family over a period time without our knowledge. That care, that love for us God placed on their hearts, translated into such incredible encouragement to all of us-especially me. And we didn't even know it was going on. This situation reminded me that I need to be looking for ways to be loving the people God puts in my path.

The girl who looks downcast on a regular basis, the jock who constantly tries to be cool but really exudes an incredible amount of insecurity, the girl who dresses all in black, the boy who won't look me in the eye when buying a cookie, the girl who is struggling with her body image...these are just a handful of the types of kids that come in and out of this place I call home and all of them are people, with families, cares, hurts, dreams and hopes.

And I need to remember them. I need to pray for them.

This last year I finally got my heart involved and it was a wonderful experience. I'm truly going to miss the seniors-a lot! I got so used to them striding through the parking lot, making jokes and giving my boys high fives. But I'm also looking forward to getting to know more kids next year and reaching out to more parents too.

I started selling cookies and brownies to make some much needed extra cash while the husband is in grad school. And what I received was a beautiful reminder of all the amazing things God can do through friendship, reaching out and caring.

So, so much more than I ever thought or imagined. But isn't God that way?

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us..." Ephesians 3:20

Road Trip

2011-05-31T14:13:00.000-07:00

So I haven't written in a week! So sorry folks. It's just been a tad crazy around here. Steve finished up his sixth year teaching at Monte Vista and Isaac finished Kindergarten so there were parties, graduation festivities/award nights (for Steve to attend), and all sorts of end-of-the-year hoopla. Needless to say, I'm a bit pooped. Yet regardless of how zany the end of the year can be, it's always a ton of fun!

But the best thing about this last weekend was that we got to go on a little road trip down south to the Promised Land...SLO County, to see some of our very dear friends who just had babies. We stopped first in North County to see our pals from Cal Poly who just had their second baby, a little boy. Oh my goodness...so precious.

We spent the late morning and early afternoon with them. It was so fun to just soak up the time. These are people we love and have history with...so even though we're far away now, they are still so important to us. They very generously fed us yummy pizza and we got to sit around and talk amidst children banter. I also got to hold the absolutely adorable little man-Elijah. The two littlest took a nap and the older boys played a game with the Dads. Then I got to catch up a bit with Tim's sister, who helped catch Eli that crazy night. Such a wonderful time.

There's the happy big brother. Love, love, love this little man. Kills me every time I see him.

Then we were off to a bit further south to visit some friends of ours from Grace Church. They have three little girls and just had their first boy! We love this family! And upon our arrival, I got a fun surprise. Kate's sister, Jenny, who I mostly know through the blogging world, was there to see us too! How fun is that? She's home visiting family while her husband is deployed. I hadn't really talked with her in person since we both counseled at Hume Lake many summers ago. And so yesterday it was a delight to chat with her and meet her two daughters. Isn't Summer just gorgeous? She is such a little doll. Her big sister Bella was running all over the place playing dress-up so I didn't get a clean shot of her. By the way, it was hilarious watching my boys mix with the girls. Dress-up? What's that mom?

And my friend Kate, who just had her fourth, well she reminds me so much of myself. So good to look at her beautiful face and hear how she was doing. It was seriously such a blessing to spend a bit of time with that family. And there's the handsome little man with his pretty mama. I really do love snuggling newborns. Such a privilege!

It's never long enough but we take the time we can get huh?

After our little playtime there, we headed on over to In n Out to see Debbi Weeks and her daughter Rebekah for dinner. It was the perfect ending to an excellent day. The only problem was that I locked the keys in the car. I swear, I haven't used our Roadside Assistance in the last six years or so but, I have somehow managed to need it twice in the last week. But anyhow, I was nursing Elle in the car and 99% of the time Steve leaves me the keys in case I want them. However, he usually tells me he's leaving them. And 99% of the time, I also check to see if he left them. Well, he didn't tell me and I didn't check. So I locked the car and headed inside. When we wanted the boys' jackets a few minutes later we discovered they were locked safely away. Good thing we found out at the beginning of dinner. We called the tow truck and they arrived twenty minutes later. We were still stuffing our faces with In n Out goodness. So really, it wasn't bad at all.

After hanging out for a bit, we loaded back up into the car and headed home. All in all, an excellent day and wonderful road trip. Steve and I marveled on the way home that even a year ago, trips like this would've been so crazy. But really, things have gotten a bit easier. Not easy just easier. Three kids are potty trained. The older two play together in the back. Joshua and Elle keep each other busy. It's really doable. I can't tell you how many road trips we've been on that have simply been nightmares to be endured...lots of screaming/crying (from the baby at the time), diaper blowouts, whining, boredom etc... Now it seems like road trips are becoming adventures which makes it a lot more fun for us parents. Little glimpses like these give us hope for future family trips!

Thanking God for our friends, their new children and incredible, lasting relationships. We're really, truly blessed.

Little Adventures

2011-05-24T06:40:00.000-07:00

So yesterday morning we had our first break down on the side of the road without Daddy. Praise God it wasn't anything serious but a mere flat tire. The night before I had taken Joshua into Urgent Care for an asthma flare-up and when we were coming home from the pharmacy, I thought I had run over something. When I circled back around to see what it was, I didn't notice anything on the ground. By morning, I had completely forgotten about it.

So I drove carpool, went to the local egg vendor for eggs and made it almost home before the car started shaking. But God was so kind to me. For one, I had my cell phone. I rarely use it so I half the time, I don't know where I put it. I try to keep it in the car but this doesn't always happen. So yeah, I had my phone. And secondly, there is a little store out in these here parts that is my favorite pit stop. It's called Four Corners. I go there often to pick up a Diet Coke and some mini York Peppermint Patties. And what do you know, my tire went totally flat right next to the store. So I pulled into their parking lot and we waited there for the tow truck. This was really a blessing because I always feel a bit vulnerable by myself with the kids and a strange repairman. But this way I wasn't on the side of the road, by myself with the three kids (Isaac was already at school). Steve was in the middle of giving a final exam so I knew I was on my own. And I was really thankful it didn't happen on the way to school with a car full of kids. That would've been an even crazier deal.

So while we waited for the tow truck, we pranced inside, grabbed ourselves some fishy crackers, a very large Diet Coke for me and of course some peppermint patties. The tow truck arrived within a half an hour (was that because I had somehow dropped the info that three little kids were in the car?) and the whole ordeal only put us back an hour and a half or so. Not bad if you ask me. It was kinda like the luxury version of those types of tales. I'll take it. Again, God was really kind.

And when we got home, I had a bit of fun with Elliana's hair. I had been trying to get a little pony tail in her hair for a long time but she just twisted and turned with frustration. Anyhow, yesterday I finally conquered her little will and distracted her long enough to put in a rubber band. So much fun. Of course, she was crying a bit since she was moving and pulling on her own hair. But then I told her, "Elle...get used to it. Beauty is pain." Ha ha!

Thanking God for His provision even in the little bumps and simple joy like baby hair.

Busy Week

2011-05-21T14:17:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy week here thus my silence. School is winding down for the husband and so he gives finals next week. That means he's working all day today. It's funny how him having just one weekend free from responsibility last weekend has made this weekend mentally difficult for me. It's like running and finishing a half marathon and then in your cool down/walk time someone tells you to run again but just for a quarter of a mile. It's really not a far distance but it literally hurts and you don't know if you'll make it. Kind of like that. I keep reminding myself to breathe today.

But some really great things have happened this week and we've done some fun stuff. First things first, Ally is doing really well. Her parents weren't sure if she'd be able to go in for surgery this week due to her having a cough. And if you remember, last time for the Craniosynostosis, she had a very slight cough and they would not go ahead. But, for some reason this time (possibly since it was a less serious surgery and didn't require her laying on her back asleep for as long), the doctors still wanted to forge on. So she had surgery on Tuesday and has been recovering really well. Thank you to all who were praying for her this week.

Two of my friends had babies this week as well. One of them came on Thursday and he was the first boy in a family that already had three daughters. I keep joking with his mom that we need to have a yearly camping trip so that our opposite sex children (who are all around the same ages) can "meet" over the years. Ha ha. I was really happy for them though. Such a sweet little man he is!

One of my best friends from Cal Poly had her baby last night. I haven't talked with her directly yet but, it is quite the story (as told from her sister to me on the phone last night). I got the benefit of a phone call since I don't have texting...being stuck in the last century does have its benefits! Pretty much, to sum it all up, she didn't make it to the hospital. Her husband delivered the baby in their bedroom, their second-another son, and she rocked it. Her first labor had been long and she was in the hospital the entire time. I knew she wanted things to go differently this go around. And different it was. She felt like things were going along just fine and then all of the sudden things ramped up quick. Too quick to do anything about. The baby came and they all got an ambulance ride to the hospital. Baby was totally fine and perfectly happy wrapped up in his mama's arms while the chaos ensued around him. And to everyone's surprise, big brother, who is not yet two, slept through the entire thing. However, me on the other hand...I seriously could not sleep for awhile last night after hearing the story because I was so wound up from the whole ordeal. Now I can't wait to meet that little adventurer.

Speaking of adventures, we've inherited a pet snake in our backyard. Three times this week we've had to call Steve home from work to come and get the snake. And three times he's taken it elsewhere on campus to get it out of our yard. Well, either this snake has babies somewhere nearby or just really likes us because it keeps coming back. And it's a big one. It seems harmless but, snakes just make me a tad nervous if I'm being honest. Not my favorite creatures.

We've made a few meals for families in our church who just had babies and that is always so much fun for me. And yesterday, we entered some Brownie Pops into the Appetizer Contest at Steve's work. I don't think I won because I probably would know by now if I did. However, it was really fun to try something new and be creative with it. I think I'll make those again for a shower or something.

Steve had his annual Boat Races this week too. So the boys and I ventured over to get a piece of the action. They're always a lot of fun. And the entire school comes out to watch.

All three boys had ice cream dates with Daddy on separate nights too and one night we watched Daddy and his other colleagues play in the Staff vs. Resident Students Basketball Game. It was as if their Dad was a star. I've never seen my boys so excited to see anything. Isaac kept saying, "Dad didn't score any baskets but he sure had some sneaky passes!" Let's not tell him why Dad didn't score any baskets-ha ha! And Caleb was screaming at the top of his lungs for him. Hilarious. Now that the older two especially are getting into sports, I think it's really fun for them to see Steve play in an actual game. Joshy doesn't quite get it all yet but if you ask him who his favorite Giants' player is, he'll tell you Buster Posey. Not bad.

And this little stinker has decided to get up nearly every night this week to make her presence known. She hasn't done it quietly either but has been nursing and then screaming when I put her back to bed. The first time I tried everything to get her to go back down since it was so unusual for her to be up. She never went back to sleep. Every night since she's been up and crying after I nurse her. She doesn't need to nurse (and normally she doesn't) but she still will wake up occasionally and so when she does, I usually feed her and she goes right back out quietly. But not this week. So, after two nights of that, we finally said enough. Luckily the boys are used to sleeping right through crying because she's been exercising her lungs quite a bit. My goodness she is so darn cute but her antics just won't fly with me, no matter how darling she is. Not gonna fly. She's normally a pretty great sleeper. Who knows what's going on with her. I'm not even going to try and figure it out because you never know; it's always a guessing game.

All in all, it's been a great week. Just a bit busy mentally and physically. I think I need to go bury myself in a book now before having to set the table for our Sabbath Dinner. I'm reading through The Hiding Place again by Corrie Ten Boom. Such an amazing book.

Toodaloo!

Have a great weekend! And Happy Sabbath and Lord's Day!

Remember Ally?

2011-05-17T12:17:00.000-07:00

This sweet little girl is getting her palette surgery today so keep her in your prayers. If you want to catch up on her story you can find it here.

The Fog is Lifting

2011-05-13T13:46:00.000-07:00

Every time I have a baby, a fog ensues in my head and really in my life. And with the successive addition of each one, the fog has stuck around just a tad longer. I wouldn't describe this fog as a funk but rather fuzziness. It's as if I'm trying to press on but I just can't really see where I'm going. And predictably, after awhile, the sand trudging can get tiresome.

Yet there are some really good things about being in the fog. One great thing is that since you can't see but a few feet or so in front of you so, all you do is live in the moment and put one foot in front of the other. Never mind a few months from now, survive till dinner. Okay, that's easy (enough). I can do that. Life becomes simple and the important things very clear.

The other great thing about the fog is that since it's so fuzzy out, things tend to slow down a bit. More responsibility and less visibility equals an inevitable push on the brakes. Caution takes over and the innate urge to burrow in for the winter overcomes all else. This instinct is good. We were designed to need rest. When our loads are heavy, God tells us to take His load for it is easy and He'll trudge through with ours high on His back. This gives us just enough reprieve to keep pattering through the sand.

But you can only live in the fog for so long. Ultimately it's confusing and cold. And after awhile of being socked in, I find myself longing for it to lift so that I can feel drenched in the warmth of the sun again and leave the gray monotony behind.

It's almost been a year, the longest fog I've experienced so far, but the fog is finally beginning to lift. I'm starting to feel like I can watch the horizon for little glimpses of the emerging sun and not just stare down at the shell-ridden sand to keep my feet from tripping. Life has its seasons. They're all good. Some are harder than others. This season hasn't been extremely horrible, just foggy, and at times confusing and tricky.

Hear me, I don't particularly hate the fog...I just relish in the warmth of the sun when it peeks through. Because I know, the fog has to lift sometime and when it does, the contrast of the sun will be brilliant.

Right now, I see rays. I don't have everything organized. I can't remember everything I'm supposed to. I'm still struggling to schlep everyone through the day with a good attitude and smile on my face. And most nights I crawl into bed spent from a very full day.

But yet...I can see the sun. I can see it! And I've been here before. I know...

The fog is rolling back-slowly but surely. Before I know it, I'm going to be surrounded by the most breathtaking scenery. And instead of merely forcing myself forward, I'll be able to breathe in my surroundings, drink in the beauty and thank God for His help. The best part is that as it lifts, I get to see just how far God has taken us, when all I could see before was the swirling gray.

It's a time for rejoicing! As I see the world afresh, the lifting fog spurs something deep within that causes me to want to worship.

O Lord my God. When I in awesome wonder. Consider all the worlds thy hands have made.
I see the stars. I hear the rolling thunder. Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul! My savior God to thee! How Great Thou Art. How Great Thou Art!

Then sings my soul! My savior God to thee! How Great Thou Art. How Great Thou Art!